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Still ignoring me, at this point and for my sanity, I think I should just stop caring what happens anymore, because at this point if she doesn't see it what's the point of staying?ย 

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10 minutes ago, Blc said:

Still ignoring me, at this point and for my sanity, I think I should just stop caring what happens anymore, because at this point if she doesn't see it what's the point of staying?ย 

I mean ur not wrong you have to take ur feelings into play and ik that youโ€™ve been feeling like shit since the fight happened between u guys but imma support u no matter wht and ill be here for u no matter wht ur choice is. i love u compa and i just needed u to know thtย 

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6 minutes ago, Blc said:

Thank you, I mean I probably don't deserve the love but thanks for saying thatย 

you do deserve the love and i wanna help u understand that no matter wht happens in the future or wht has happened in ur past u deserve tht loveย 

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It sucks you know? I really do love her, even if she doesn't anymore, I actually do and I don't think I'll ever actually love someone like that again, ik I'll meet someone eventually, or I already have its hard to tell, I really wish I could turn back time and stop myself from ending it, because I genuinely had fun evern if every time she got put in the hospital or when we didn't really talk last August I didn't care, I was genuinely in love with her it sucks like reallyย 

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3 minutes ago, Blc said:

It sucks you know? I really do love her, even if she doesn't anymore, I actually do and I don't think I'll ever actually love someone like that again, ik I'll meet someone eventually, or I already have its hard to tell, I really wish I could turn back time and stop myself from ending it, because I genuinely had fun evern if every time she got put in the hospital or when we didn't really talk last August I didn't care, I was genuinely in love with her it sucks like reallyย 

iโ€™ve felt the same love ur describing and yes itโ€™s hard, itโ€™s 1000000% hard and it gets harder and harder but it gets easier i promise i was in love with someone the same way you are 4 yrs ago and today happens to be the anniversary and he went to the hospital a lot too but one day he never came out the hospital and while itโ€™s been 4 yrs iโ€™ve never been the same or been able to love the same but i had to realize he would want me to do better for myself and my future if he was still here. so yes she might not love you anymore and you might not love someone the same but you can might someone that loves you the same and that treats you the same. finding someone and being in love is not the main purpose of life but itโ€™s one of the amazing bout life there so many ppl you could love you but we also get stuck on that one personย 

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5 minutes ago, Blc said:

I hope so and sorry for your loss at least you seem to be doing ok

looks can be deceiving. when he passed i blamed it on myself a lot but i came to understand no matter how much i tried to help he wouldnโ€™t get better cuz of wht he was going tho and i wouldnโ€™t be the person i am today. while he was and is the love of my life i miss him everyday but his passing got me tho a lot of things even though heโ€™s not here heโ€™s my drive to everything i do, heโ€™s my drive for the career I want and his passing made me change how i see the world and people and wht ppl go though behind close doorsย 

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Good train of thought, he may be gone but at least you will keep the memories you did make really close to your heart, I wish I had your optmism and willingness to live, because I really don't have anyย 

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7 minutes ago, Blc said:

Good train of thought, he may be gone but at least you will keep the memories you did make really close to your heart, I wish I had your optmism and willingness to live, because I really don't have anyย 

honestly, itโ€™s hard living without him. why donโ€™t you have any? some days ion even get up to go to school or work anymoreย 

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Idk tbh, I think I'm slowly losing myself, everyday I just seem to be getting worse and worse and I hate myself may be the problem lies in that I don't get out as much as I should because I have really awful PTSD from being bullied and it's to the point where relationships are really difficult things for meย 

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im so sorry that ur slowing losing yourself and no one can understand the trauma and pain your going though other than people who have been though the same thing, the fact that you have PTSD from being bullied is understandable and so do iโ€™ve been bullied since kindergarten cuz of my weight. im sorry tht relationships are hard for you and ik none of this can be easy for you. i really hope can/am helping you

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