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Are they pretending to like me?


emilytacoburrito1234    

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I'm really confused about weather my friends,are really my friends. Their mood and the way they treat me changes all the time. Usually they mostly leave me out, but other times we have these really fun conversations!? I don't know if i should try and make new friends, stick with them for now, or confront them.....'??

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https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/topic/600-are-they-pretending-to-like-me/
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Hey Emily,

 

Love the tacoburrito addition to your name, haha. Thanks for coming to Community with this - we are here to help :)

 

Sorry to hear you're going through this - how are you feeling? Friends can be hot and cold sometimes, and it usually means that something is going on. It's not nice to feel left out, I know what it's like.

 

Have you tried speaking to them about it? Although this can be scary, it's the best thing to do in such a situation. Then you can find out if the situation has a solution. If you decide to do this, maybe try it one-to-one with them because groups, when approached, can often get nasty.

 

Here is an article you may find useful:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/are-they-really-your-friend-15-signs-that-suggest-otherwise/

 

Let me know if you find this useful. If not, we can figure something else out.

 

Hang in there -Monsoon :)

 

P.S. It's always good to make new friends too :D

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hi, thanks, soo i'v tried speaking to them and the first couple days after we were all great and having fun. But now they just went back to normal. For now i'm just hanging out with my other two friends, bu i still don't know what to do.......any suggestions'??

Thanks, emily

Hey Emily,

 

Thanks for getting back to me. I'm glad you tried speaking to them about it - did they say why they were being weird with you? If they are still being weird with you now after working through it (I'm not sure where you got to in terms of speaking to them about it), then maybe you might be better off hanging out with other people.

 

If you cannot work through these issues after trying with them, then it might be that you're at a different level of maturity. Sometimes in life, you may come to the point where it is time to break up with your friend(s). Often, you may grow apart from them, and start to develop different interests and views. This can often make it difficult to maintain some friendships. I've experienced a lot of this, and although it was upsetting to move on, sometimes it just has to be done sometimes.

 

Also, I guess it comes down to whether or not you think the friendships are salvageable, and if you want to salvage them or not. I ask myself 'is it worth the stress/upset it is causing me? when facing such situations.

 

Here are some articles you may find useful:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/are-they-really-your-friend-15-signs-that-suggest-otherwise/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/really-friend-quiz/

 

I hope you find this advice helpful. Let me know if not and we can figure something else out.

 

-Monsoon :)

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Hey Kels,

 

Sorry to hear you are going through this too. Would you like to talk some more about it? I will be able to give you some tailored advice. Hope you're okay!

 

-Monsoon :)

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  • 1 month later...

no they actually didn't take me seriously at all and were like "lol okay" and then just ignored me like nothing happened. I am really starting to get upset because instead of being weird, now they are just being mean, this group of friends even told me to not be friends with them when they saw that my "friends" were being mean to me. But i'm too scared to leave them. I feel like i will be lonely.....

-emily

  • 4 weeks later...
  • Ditch the Label Staff

Hi Emily, I'm sorry to hear that they weren't understanding when you talked to your friends. I agree it can be so tough to move away from them but if it can't be resolved it can really affect how you feel and your self-esteem which isn't great either. Have you tried spending some time with other friends, even if a small amount at first? Maybe if you did this over a phased approach (and assuming you like the other friends) it will make you feel better and you can get to spend time with friends who appreciate you and treat you well. As the other group have already noticed they don't treat you well it might be worth trying this.

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