Jump to content

I want to come out to my sister, but am not sure how


foogyu    

Recommended Posts

My sister and I are really close, however, we never really discuss deep feelings unless it's about family issues, not personal issues. I've known I was a lesbian for a long time, and have dated multiple girls. Right now I am in a relationship with a girl and have been for about 3 months, and want to tell my sister. I know she'll be accepting, she herself identifies as bi, but besides her coming out to me, we never talk about it and she never makes comments about it, and hasn't seriously dated anyone for a long time. I've never been someone to confide in someone, but I also don't want to breeze past this. I'm ready to tell her, I just don't know how I should do it. I feel like writing a letter may be too cheesy, plus, I run the risk of it being found by my parents, who I'm not ready to come out to yet. I need something that isn't too serious but isn't too silly either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey! Thanks for coming to us for support - we can definitely help you through this :)

 

How are you feeling about all of this?

 

It's great that you're close with your sister. Hopefully coming out will bring you closer together and help you to talk to each other about personal stuff - I know that this can be hard with family members.

 

You could tell her via a message if that makes it easier? It can take away the fear of doing it face-to-face. You can still keep the seriousness of the situation through a message and might not be as cheesy as a letter.

 

Here is a guide you may find useful:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-11-tips-for-coming-out-as-lesbian-gay-or-bi/

 

Also, you can tell her by saying there is someone special you would like to talk to her about? :)

 

Hope this helps - Monsoon

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for the help Monsoon! I ended up writing on some sticky notes about how I have been in this relationship for 3 months, and I put them in a sort of hidden spot, not to where she won't find them, but to where I don't risk anyone but her seeing them. She's at work right now, but I will update how it went once I see her in the morning.

Using the sticky notes, I was able to do it in a way that wasn't extremely serious like a letter, and able to avoid the face-to-face interaction. Of course I know she'll want to talk to me about it, the hardest part is over, now I just await her reaction!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, an update! Everything went really well. She left me a letter telling me how I will always be able to talk to her about anything, and that whatever I tell her will be safe with her and how much she loves me.

I want to thank you again Monsoon because without that reply I might not have done it! It feels really good to have gotten off my chest. I hate having to keep secrets from my sister, and I knew she'd have a positive reaction but that anxiety was still there. So thank you for the help and giving me that push to be able to do it! (:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey there,

 

Not gonna lie, but this made me really emotional. It's so great to see the positive impact that DTL has on the world. I'm glad you found the advice useful and happy it went well for you. What's the next step in your journey?

 

Monsoon :)

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've basically just been spending time with my sister and focusing on the new school year, as well as my relationship. Overall things are going really great. I would like to eventually come out to my family, specifically my mom and dad, but I'm not in a rush to do that. I have the support of my sister (as well as DTL if I ever need it!) and for now I'm content with that. DTL is such a positive space and I'm incredibly thankful again to the support I've received!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ahhh that's great. I'm glad that things are going so well for you. Thanks for your kind words - Community is always here for anyone who needs it.

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...