Invited to a bday party by a person that doesn't like me much?

[Bubbletea]

So, a little bit of backstory. She's a classmate of mine and well, it's always been awkward between us especially for me because before we even got into the same class we knew each other from very early childhood and she definitely hasn't been a person that I remembered fondly due to being quite rude to me for no real reason. She doesn't seem to remember that time though, since we got into the same class it has still been awkward due to me still having the negative past memories with her and she really hasn't changed that much after all the time that has passed, I don't really dislike her but I also don't like her either and the feeling seems to be kinda similar with her due to her saying that she doesn't like me to my friend who ended up telling me. Now all of a sudden though, she just invited me to her birthday party today and I don't really know what to do, I ended up agreeing to come because I felt bad, I definitely think I could've been at least a bit more kind to her in the past ( I gave her the cold shoulder a lot often without even realizing it) and I also think going to her birthday party would help fix this relationship. Some of my other friends are going to her birthday party as well so it isn't going to be awkward really. 

Now I'm just really wondering why she would invite me considering you wouldn't usually invite a person you dislike right? She told every other person that I was coming to her birthday party as well so idk? Has anyone had any similar experiences here? What should I do? 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Thank you for coming to us for help with this. It's interesting because there could be a few different explanations here. It might be that she has thought about how she treated you in the past and has now decided she needs to do better and be nicer, so maybe she is trying to make things okay between you two; what do you think? Also, I noticed what you said about how you gave her the could shoulder in the past. I'm wondering, what order did things happen in, was she rude first and then you gave the cold shoulder, or was it the other way around? 

[Bubbletea]

1 minute ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for coming to us for help with this. It's interesting because there could be a few different explanations here. It might be that she has thought about how she treated you in the past and has now decided she needs to do better and be nicer, so maybe she is trying to make things okay between you two; what do you think? Also, I noticed what you said about how you gave her the could shoulder in the past. I'm wondering, what order did things happen in, was she rude first and then you gave the cold shoulder, or was it the other way around? 

Most of the time she was rude first and I end up giving her the cold shoulder. Though later on when we don't talk to each other but I still more or less gave her the cold shoulder if she ever approached me because I didn't want her to be rude to me again even though she didn't really say anything rude to me at that moment. Giving the cold shoulder is a self defense mechanism for me I suppose. It would be nice to think that she invited me as a sort of apology and tries to fix things between us, that's what I am hoping for atleast. 

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, Bubbletea said:

Most of the time she was rude first and I end up giving her the cold shoulder. Though later on when we don't talk to each other but I still more or less gave her the cold shoulder if she ever approached me because I didn't want her to be rude to me again even though she didn't really say anything rude to me at that moment. Giving the cold shoulder is a self defense mechanism for me I suppose. It would be nice to think that she invited me as a sort of apology and tries to fix things between us, that's what I am hoping for atleast. 

Hey there,

Yeah, I think it is worth giving it a go and seeing what happens if you do want to make things better and fix it. What do you think? 

[Bubbletea]

On 12/7/2022 at 6:31 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I think it is worth giving it a go and seeing what happens if you do want to make things better and fix it. What do you think? 

Hiya!

I absolutely agree! All I need to figure out now is just what I should gift to her. I did ask her what she wanted but she just told me that it was enough if I just showed up to her birthday party. I still think I need to get her something though so guess that's something I'm going to have to really think about

[Monsoon]

On 12/8/2022 at 5:49 PM, Bubbletea said:

Hiya!

I absolutely agree! All I need to figure out now is just what I should gift to her. I did ask her what she wanted but she just told me that it was enough if I just showed up to her birthday party. I still think I need to get her something though so guess that's something I'm going to have to really think about

Hey there,

I'm sure you will come up with something :)

I'm really glad you're giving it a go - I hope it goes well! Would you like anymore support with this for now, or are you good? 

[Bubbletea]

4 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm sure you will come up with something :)

I'm really glad you're giving it a go - I hope it goes well! Would you like anymore support with this for now, or are you good? 

I think I'm good! Thank you very much for your help :)