Bella_the_book_lover Posted December 4, 2022 Share Posted December 4, 2022 I'm obviously not entirely sure, but I'm highly convinced that I'm bisexual. I have two issues. The first is that I don't know if I'm attracted to woman enough to be bi. For example, there's certain girls that I wouldn't mind dating, but at the same time, I get scared when I think about dating a girl. I also am way more attracted to men, and I'm not sure that I'd ever find myself dating a girl, and yet I still feel like I'm bi. The second reason is because I'm really worried about my religion. I talked to my dad, and he told me that God made me how he made me and I shouldn't feel scared to embrace it. However, my best friend believes that being bi is a sin and that we shouldn't be bi. That doesn't mean that she wouldn't accept me, but I think I might have feelings for her and I hate it so much because there's so much blockage in the way and I feel so confused with myself, but yet I feel very strongly that being bi is who I'm meant to be. What do I do?? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 5, 2022 Share Posted December 5, 2022 On 12/4/2022 at 1:30 AM, Bella_the_book_lover said: I'm obviously not entirely sure, but I'm highly convinced that I'm bisexual. I have two issues. The first is that I don't know if I'm attracted to woman enough to be bi. For example, there's certain girls that I wouldn't mind dating, but at the same time, I get scared when I think about dating a girl. I also am way more attracted to men, and I'm not sure that I'd ever find myself dating a girl, and yet I still feel like I'm bi. The second reason is because I'm really worried about my religion. I talked to my dad, and he told me that God made me how he made me and I shouldn't feel scared to embrace it. However, my best friend believes that being bi is a sin and that we shouldn't be bi. That doesn't mean that she wouldn't accept me, but I think I might have feelings for her and I hate it so much because there's so much blockage in the way and I feel so confused with myself, but yet I feel very strongly that being bi is who I'm meant to be. What do I do?? Hey there, Thank you for reaching out to us about this. I'm sorry to hear that your friend said being bi is a sin. I can imagine this was pretty hurtful for you to hear given that you are questioning your sexuality and also because of your feelings towards her. I hope you're as okay as you can be after hearing your best friend say that. I just want you to know that being bi is perfectly normal, and there is nothing wrong with that at all :) From reading your message, it sounds like you're pretty much come to the conclusion that you're bi already, is that fair to say? Also, remember, you don't have to be attracted to the genders equally to be bi, it could be 80% towards men, 10% towards women, and 10% towards other genders, and that is still valid. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella_the_book_lover Posted December 5, 2022 Author Share Posted December 5, 2022 2 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, Thank you for reaching out to us about this. I'm sorry to hear that your friend said being bi is a sin. I can imagine this was pretty hurtful for you to hear given that you are questioning your sexuality and also because of your feelings towards her. I hope you're as okay as you can be after hearing your best friend say that. I just want you to know that being bi is perfectly normal, and there is nothing wrong with that at all :) From reading your message, it sounds like you're pretty much come to the conclusion that you're bi already, is that fair to say? Also, remember, you don't have to be attracted to the genders equally to be bi, it could be 80% towards men, 10% towards women, and 10% towards other genders, and that is still valid. A big part of me feels like I'm bi. But then I feel scared, almost like I'm forced into having a label. I know I don't have to have a label if I don't feel like it, but it just feels weird because I feel like society is forcing me to tell if I'm straight or bi. And I know I like guys more and that I like girls & other genders less, I just don't want the idea of being "bi" make me feel like my life is going to get messed up. Although I guess even though I identify as bi, that doesn't necessarily mean I have to date a girl in order to be bi. I just feel like I'm bi but then I feel like I don't want to be bi because I'm scared. But by denying that, I'm denying who I really am. It's just hard because my best friend is like, "I'm telling you that having feelings for girls is normal, but you shouldn't act on those feelings because it's a sin and it's not what God wants for you" and I care about her opinion so much, so I really do worry if being bi is right for me, but at the same time I know I can't help what I feel. My best friend went through the same thing of questioning herself and then using her religion almost as a blockage. I'm just scared for what will happen if I embrace who I am. My parents say that nothing in our religion goes against being who I am, but if my friend is constantly nagging me and acting like she's the mastermind of our religion, then it's hard because I feel small when she's acting like she knows everything. I've just been really depressed about this lately and really don't know what to do. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 6, 2022 Share Posted December 6, 2022 Hey there, You made a really good point when you said that you know you can't help what you feel; at the end of the day, you are who you are, and if your sexuality does mean you like more than one gender, then there is no choice with that, and I think that can lead to feelings of anxiety for a lot of people which is totally normal. Also, it's interesting that you mentioned how you feel like you're being forced into having a label. There are so many pressures in society, and it's pretty much the norm to put people in 'boxes' with labels as it helps people to navigate life more easily. However, the labels can have both positives and negatives, and I think you just have to really connect with what is best for you; would it be helpful to label, or would you rather go without? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella_the_book_lover Posted December 6, 2022 Author Share Posted December 6, 2022 4 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey there, You made a really good point when you said that you know you can't help what you feel; at the end of the day, you are who you are, and if your sexuality does mean you like more than one gender, then there is no choice with that, and I think that can lead to feelings of anxiety for a lot of people which is totally normal. Also, it's interesting that you mentioned how you feel like you're being forced into having a label. There are so many pressures in society, and it's pretty much the norm to put people in 'boxes' with labels as it helps people to navigate life more easily. However, the labels can have both positives and negatives, and I think you just have to really connect with what is best for you; would it be helpful to label, or would you rather go without? I think I've been lately actually more accepting and like the label bi. Obviously I don't need to tell everyone I'm bi if I don't want to, but I think it helps me figure myself out. I feel like it's going to be an in-progress type of thing and I know most people usually don't decide on their sexuality right away, so I feel like it's fair to say I have time yet to figure myself out. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted December 7, 2022 Share Posted December 7, 2022 19 hours ago, Bella_the_book_lover said: I think I've been lately actually more accepting and like the label bi. Obviously I don't need to tell everyone I'm bi if I don't want to, but I think it helps me figure myself out. I feel like it's going to be an in-progress type of thing and I know most people usually don't decide on their sexuality right away, so I feel like it's fair to say I have time yet to figure myself out. Hey there, Yeah, exactly as you said, it's a work in progress really, and with time, you will understand more and more about what's right for you and how you can move forward. What do you think? Also, that's great that you have been more accepting of the bi label; I think that you just have to do what is right for you and feels like the best option regardless of what other people think. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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