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i feel like i will always be alone


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ive been in 2 relationships my whole life and both were amazing until they weren't. one guy i was with for 2 years and then I came out as trans and he said it was fine until I cut my hair. then he started to flinch when I touched him or tried to hug him in public and said he didn't want to look gay. so i left him but then he started to

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sexually harass my friends to try and make me upset for leaving him?

idk. but yeah. and the other was with a girl who was really nice and also was trans (MtF) but she was 11 when i was 14 and we felt the age gap was too big to really continue our relationship much. we broke up in july and ive just been sad and lonely ever since. theres a guy i swear im in love with but he just turned 18 so I cant do anything about my feelings. and that hurts like hell.
and I dont know how to flirt w ppl or how to approach guys and ask them out since I'm newly out as trans in my school and idk who will still see me as a girl.

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Luie
This post was recognized by Luie!

peanutbutterstruggles was awarded the badge 'Great Advice' and 20 points.

hey there, i'm sorry to hear about the way your ex treated you. you deserve better. i understand how hard it can be to date as a trans person, i'm trans as well and it's definitely not easy finding the right person. but trust me, there are people out there who will love you so much and make you feel happy, even if it takes some time to find them! you're very young and i promise you have time. it can feel really hopeless at times, but you will meet a lot of people who accept and like you. my life changed a lot since i was 14, even though at that age i felt hopeless as well. 

as for meeting new people, how about attending some lgbt+/trans youth groups? that way you will be able to meet people similar to you and won't have to be closeted

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On 11/27/2022 at 1:17 PM, RYD1NG H4WKS said:

ive been in 2 relationships my whole life and both were amazing until they weren't. one guy i was with for 2 years and then I came out as trans and he said it was fine until I cut my hair. then he started to flinch when I touched him or tried to hug him in public and said he didn't want to look gay. so i left him but then he started to

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sexually harass my friends to try and make me upset for leaving him?

idk. but yeah. and the other was with a girl who was really nice and also was trans (MtF) but she was 11 when i was 14 and we felt the age gap was too big to really continue our relationship much. we broke up in july and ive just been sad and lonely ever since. theres a guy i swear im in love with but he just turned 18 so I cant do anything about my feelings. and that hurts like hell.
and I dont know how to flirt w ppl or how to approach guys and ask them out since I'm newly out as trans in my school and idk who will still see me as a girl.

Heyy @RYD1NG H4WKS, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label (DTL). 

I think @peanutbutterstruggles has given some helpful insights from their experience to which I would just like to add on and say that coming out newly as a transgender can be challenging as it's a new and unknown phase which you will be navigating through, it can get lonely so please do reach out to us, members on the DTL platform or where you live if it's safe for you to do so. I am sorry because breaking up is always painful, I am sending you tons of positive energy to help you get through this and feel free to talk more about it if you'd like whenever. I'd recommend being a bit more self compassionate and take it one day at a time, no one knows how to flirt, it's something you pick up through communicating and just like most things it's trial and error. How does this all sound to you?

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6 hours ago, peanutbutterstruggles said:

hey there, i'm sorry to hear about the way your ex treated you. you deserve better. i understand how hard it can be to date as a trans person, i'm trans as well and it's definitely not easy finding the right person. but trust me, there are people out there who will love you so much and make you feel happy, even if it takes some time to find them! you're very young and i promise you have time. it can feel really hopeless at times, but you will meet a lot of people who accept and like you. my life changed a lot since i was 14, even though at that age i felt hopeless as well. 

as for meeting new people, how about attending some lgbt+/trans youth groups? that way you will be able to meet people similar to you and won't have to be closeted

i am in my schools saga program but everyone there literally hates my guts and wants to kill me.

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2 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @RYD1NG H4WKS, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label (DTL). 

I think @peanutbutterstruggles has given some helpful insights from their experience to which I would just like to add on and say that coming out newly as a transgender can be challenging as it's a new and unknown phase which you will be navigating through, it can get lonely so please do reach out to us, members on the DTL platform or where you live if it's safe for you to do so. I am sorry because breaking up is always painful, I am sending you tons of positive energy to help you get through this and feel free to talk more about it if you'd like whenever. I'd recommend being a bit more self compassionate and take it one day at a time, no one knows how to flirt, it's something you pick up through communicating and just like most things it's trial and error. How does this all sound to you?

ig that makes sense and all. ive just given up a lot of hope in actually being liked by people i know IRL. i get a lot of interest from people online but i want a real relationship

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11 hours ago, RYD1NG H4WKS said:

i am in my schools saga program but everyone there literally hates my guts and wants to kill me.

i'd recommend looking for some programs outside of school, although it can be pretty hard if you don't live in an urban area :/ sometimes it needs some searching before you find something but it can be worth it!

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11 hours ago, RYD1NG H4WKS said:

ig that makes sense and all. ive just given up a lot of hope in actually being liked by people i know IRL. i get a lot of interest from people online but i want a real relationship

you might just be in an unfriendly environment, but not all people are like that. there's a lot of great people out there (if you meet them on the internet, it means they're out there!) and it might take some time, but you'll find them

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4 hours ago, peanutbutterstruggles said:

i'd recommend looking for some programs outside of school, although it can be pretty hard if you don't live in an urban area :/ sometimes it needs some searching before you find something but it can be worth it!

i am in suberbs with a lot of small cities around me and there are programs but they aren't on when i have time.

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4 hours ago, peanutbutterstruggles said:

you might just be in an unfriendly environment, but not all people are like that. there's a lot of great people out there (if you meet them on the internet, it means they're out there!) and it might take some time, but you'll find them

i hope. ive always said to my mom since i was little and was getting picked on that I didnt think Id ever find anyone who loves me.

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