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Should I still be there friend


Animallover299

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My 2 friends were mean to me yesterday on PSHE day. One of my friend has been being mean to me a lot and they are very controlling. They don’t like me to make any new friends. However today my friends told my other friend there version of what happened yesterday and after PE when we were getting changed 2 of my friends started saying I was being pathetic and childish so I said I am done with them and they started saying “it looks like I touched a nerve there” in a mocking way and then they would not stop laughing at me. And then there were tears in my eyes and they were still laughing at me 

What should I do?   Sorry for long message 

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  • Digital Mentor
16 minutes ago, Animallover299 said:

My 2 friends were mean to me yesterday on PSHE day. One of my friend has been being mean to me a lot and they are very controlling. They don’t like me to make any new friends. However today my friends told my other friend there version of what happened yesterday and after PE when we were getting changed 2 of my friends started saying I was being pathetic and childish so I said I am done with them and they started saying “it looks like I touched a nerve there” in a mocking way and then they would not stop laughing at me. And then there were tears in my eyes and they were still laughing at me 

What should I do?   Sorry for long message 

Heyy @Animallover299, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. 

No need to apologise for expressing yourself. use as many words you'd like, here for you. I am sorry to hear about your friends being controlling and mean to you. It was unkind of them to make up a different version of the story and you having to hear from everyone else about being 'pathetic' or 'childish', it sounds extremely hurtful. Are these close friends of yours or are they not too important to you if they aren't in your life? 

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On 11/24/2022 at 8:10 PM, Animallover299 said:

I thought they were close friends but I am not so sure now 

Oh gosh, I am sorry about this, being in a position where you're hurt by close friends can really be challenging. 

So, any form of relationships (including friendships) can be difficult to navigate depending on phase of life, circumstances at the time and also the people around you. That being said, when someone hurts you one time, it's usually unpredictable and unexpected, so I hope you know you are not the one to be blamed for their reactions. I would suggest to take the space for yourself and reflect whether these friends are right for you, would you like to try this out?

 

 

From what you expressed it sounded as if they're trying to stunt your growth in terms of expanding your social circle which seems unhealthy and in my experience, true friends and healthy relationships should never be one-sided or compromise the integrity of your well-being.

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Hi thank you for your reply I have made friends with 2 out of 3 of my friends because they apologised to me and said that we don’t have to be best friends but we can still be friends. However when I was in maths I was talking to my other friend that I haven’t made friend with yet about everything and I asked if we could be friends but she said I had been arrogant and selfish and that she would have to think about over the weekend. So today I texted her asking if we could be friends and she read it and  ignored me and today she said what do you want because you have sent me a bunch of messages . she still hasn’t answered my question. So I know don’t know whether I want to be friends with her because it has taken her 3 days just to decide whether we could be friends even though she has been sulking all day Friday because I hadn’t asked her yet.

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23 hours ago, Animallover299 said:

Hi thank you for your reply I have made friends with 2 out of 3 of my friends because they apologised to me and said that we don’t have to be best friends but we can still be friends. However when I was in maths I was talking to my other friend that I haven’t made friend with yet about everything and I asked if we could be friends but she said I had been arrogant and selfish and that she would have to think about over the weekend. So today I texted her asking if we could be friends and she read it and  ignored me and today she said what do you want because you have sent me a bunch of messages . she still hasn’t answered my question. So I know don’t know whether I want to be friends with her because it has taken her 3 days just to decide whether we could be friends even though she has been sulking all day Friday because I hadn’t asked her yet.

Ah I see. Yeah this can be slightly stressful and also the uncertainty does make it tricky. It's your decision at the end of the day whether to be friends with her or not, because the other two did apologise but this one hasn't. It's about the quality of friendships not the quantity. 

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