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My friends keep saying to get with her


C3C3
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(We are in 7th grade)Β  (I will refer to my crush as G)Β  My friends always tease G and I whenever we're sitting or standing next to each other. Neither of us mind of course. But they always tell me to just ask her out or get with her. Yeah, we like each other. But it's not that simple. Her dad is the only one of of our parents that know about the whole thing. I'm lucky that her father didn't tell my mother about it when they talked at her house last school year for a sleepover. I want to wait another year or two until I'm old enough my parents can't tell me that I'm "just confused." But, that makes me wonder if she can even keep her feelings for me that long. I know I can keep mine, but it's stressing me out. If she does ever tell me she lost her feelings before I tell my parents, I can get over it, and I wouldn't really have to tell my parents that part. If she does keep them, it makes it easier for me. But I'm worried I'm taking too long to do something. I can't exactly talk about with my friends because we only talk at school, I prefer to vent in person if I can, I'm scared of my parents seeing texts if I talk about it. I'm scared of talking to G myself because of the same reasons. We only have three classes together, and we don't sit together in any of them. But I really like her. Do I wait and just make occasional small talk about it, just wait, or do I actually do something. Someone I can talk to would be nice as well.

Edited by C3C3
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Im going to be honest with you here, youΒ΄re in 7th grade, the chances of this relationship lasting are very low and the chances of heartbreak are very high. I would do what society calls a "talking stage" with her, so you'd be dating without actually dating. and even if you wait a few years to tell your parents (Im not trying to force you to come out or anything i swear) they'll likely still tell you you're "confused" or something if they view the lgbtq+ community like that. i would ask her about it and be honest with her about how you feel about this so you dont start a relationship under false pretenses. feel free to message me if you need anything or just want to talk

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47 minutes ago, emnma said:

Im going to be honest with you here, youΒ΄re in 7th grade, the chances of this relationship lasting are very low and the chances of heartbreak are very high. I would do what society calls a "talking stage" with her, so you'd be dating without actually dating. and even if you wait a few years to tell your parents (Im not trying to force you to come out or anything i swear) they'll likely still tell you you're "confused" or something if they view the lgbtq+ community like that. i would ask her about it and be honest with her about how you feel about this so you dont start a relationship under false pretenses. feel free to message me if you need anything or just want to talk

Yes I am aware that they can still tell me I'm confused. But I feel like they have less excuses the closer I am to being old enough to date. And I'm also not in the best place at school rn because it's a college prep & all girls middle and high school. I wanna get into a better position in my school life before to do anything like that. And I guess we're already in somewhat of situationship I think? I've seen this thing online called "soft dating" where your parents or guardian or whoever supervises a sort of "date" for like 13-15 yr Olds or something. Sounded like a good idea to me until I remembered I would have to come out to them. If im doing better in school, and able to balance my personal life with it, they might be a little less not ok with it. The problem is that both our families are religious. My family is Catholic and I don't remember if her family is Catholic or Christian. So that could cause a few problems on its own.Β 

By the way, thx for saying I can talk to you. It means a lot since I can't exactly find good timing to talk to my friends at school.

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3 minutes ago, C3C3 said:

Yes I am aware that they can still tell me I'm confused. But I feel like they have less excuses the closer I am to being old enough to date. And I'm also not in the best place at school rn because it's a college prep & all girls middle and high school. I wanna get into a better position in my school life before to do anything like that. And I guess we're already in somewhat of situationship I think? I've seen this thing online called "soft dating" where your parents or guardian or whoever supervises a sort of "date" for like 13-15 yr Olds or something. Sounded like a good idea to me until I remembered I would have to come out to them. If im doing better in school, and able to balance my personal life with it, they might be a little less not ok with it. The problem is that both our families are religious. My family is Catholic and I don't remember if her family is Catholic or Christian. So that could cause a few problems on its own.Β 

By the way, thx for saying I can talk to you. It means a lot since I can't exactly find good timing to talk to my friends at school.

yeah, i guess. soft dating sounds like a good idea, but i'd make sure your partner is ok with it and comfortable enough with your parents to come out to them too. I know you said that her dad is ok with her being queer, but from my experience, queer people who come out to their very religious families tend to get kicked out. If you think that there's any chance that you may be in danger please do not come out to them. I only came out to my family because we arent very religious and i have a gay aunt who they all still talk to. I agree that a good school-life balance is key too, as it will take lots of stress off of you to have some sort of hold on your life. and of course! i get not being able to talk to my friends about stuff like this at school and these online platforms are so helpful when it comes to literally everything

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