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tips for coming out to homophobic family members?


mars the candy bar    

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my family has always been the stereotypical christian, all-american, homophobic/transphobic type of people. ive been openly gay and trans for over a year now, and i want to come out to them, specifically my dad [might i add he's the worst among the three of them]. any tips? anything is highly appreciated <3

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12 hours ago, mars the candy bar said:

my family has always been the stereotypical christian, all-american, homophobic/transphobic type of people. ive been openly gay and trans for over a year now, and i want to come out to them, specifically my dad [might i add he's the worst among the three of them]. any tips? anything is highly appreciated <3

Elloooo, I'll tag some mentors to help ya with tips👍🏽 @Monsoon @Aurora @Blondie 

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14 hours ago, mars the candy bar said:

my family has always been the stereotypical christian, all-american, homophobic/transphobic type of people. ive been openly gay and trans for over a year now, and i want to come out to them, specifically my dad [might i add he's the worst among the three of them]. any tips? anything is highly appreciated <3

Hey there,

That's great that you want to come out to them. I'm wondering, how do you think it will go? Is it safe for you to come out? That's the most important thing, and if it isn't safe, it best to wait until you can live independently from your family as we don't want you to be put in any kind of danger whatsoever. Anyway, let me know about that, and we can then talk more. Speak soon. 

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2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's great that you want to come out to them. I'm wondering, how do you think it will go? Is it safe for you to come out? That's the most important thing, and if it isn't safe, it best to wait until you can live independently from your family as we don't want you to be put in any kind of danger whatsoever. Anyway, let me know about that, and we can then talk more. Speak soon. 

unfortunately i fully expect that if i tell my dad that im trans he'll yell at me. i dont want to wait though, because im a very open person and honestly i hate hiding things :/

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On 10/31/2022 at 8:29 PM, mars the candy bar said:

unfortunately i fully expect that if i tell my dad that im trans he'll yell at me. i dont want to wait though, because im a very open person and honestly i hate hiding things :/

Hey there,

Yeah, I can imagine that it would be hard to hide this as well on an emotional level. I'm wondering, even if he does yell at you, what about after that? Could be come around to it eventually? This happens in so many cases, and it can be because a parent feels like they are losing their child, but at the end of the day, they tend to come around and see that they are doing what's right for them and wanting to live an authentic life. 

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10 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I can imagine that it would be hard to hide this as well on an emotional level. I'm wondering, even if he does yell at you, what about after that? Could be come around to it eventually? This happens in so many cases, and it can be because a parent feels like they are losing their child, but at the end of the day, they tend to come around and see that they are doing what's right for them and wanting to live an authentic life. 

maybe, hopefully. but really theres no telling when it comes to him. sometimes he'll hold onto pieces of information forever and hold them against me in the future. i can try to slowly ease him into accepting the lgbtq+ community first before coming out as trans and maybe that'll work, but again you can never tell when it comes to him

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Hey there,

I think that actually, it might be easier for him to accept the community more when you have come out. Because of his love for you, this will likely motivate him more to come around to it. Sure, it might take a while, but this is usually the way it goes. What do you think? 

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On 11/4/2022 at 11:25 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I think that actually, it might be easier for him to accept the community more when you have come out. Because of his love for you, this will likely motivate him more to come around to it. Sure, it might take a while, but this is usually the way it goes. What do you think? 

yeah, no, i totally get that. i plan on maybe coming out around christmas as sort of a present lol (sounds cringe but dunno lol). but i totally get what your coming and i think it might help alot to come out before THAN get him to accept the community like you said. 

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5 hours ago, mars the candy bar said:

yeah, no, i totally get that. i plan on maybe coming out around christmas as sort of a present lol (sounds cringe but dunno lol). but i totally get what your coming and i think it might help alot to come out before THAN get him to accept the community like you said. 

Yeah, I think so too. That's exciting that you're planning on coming out. Do you have an idea as to how you might do it yet? 

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18 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Yeah, I think so too. That's exciting that you're planning on coming out. Do you have an idea as to how you might do it yet? 

nope B)

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10 hours ago, mars the candy bar said:

nope B)

Hey,

That's okay. When the time comes, if you'd like any tips on that, we would be more than happy to help. By the way, would you like anymore support for now, or are you okay?

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12 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That's okay. When the time comes, if you'd like any tips on that, we would be more than happy to help. By the way, would you like anymore support for now, or are you okay?

im okay, thanks! :)

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Okay! Good luck with it all, and remember, we are here if you need us. 

3 hours ago, mars the candy bar said:

im okay, thanks! :)

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