What went wrong?

[Hickelberry]

A couple of weeks ago I got in touch with a girl from my uni. We were in the same year but have never talked before. 
I asked her out on a date and we went out a couple of times and things went smoothly but no romantic involvement.  We became quite close and would talk and go out almost every day. We had some meaningful conversations and would often discuss about really personal matters like our insecurities so we really started to know each other.  
It became a custom to see each other late at night and smoke pot at her place or mine. I had a great time with her and I knew I wanted a relationship from the moment we first met but something stopped me from confessing my true feelings from the start.

Yesterday I was at her place and we we got pretty high watched a movie but nothing happened, she’s an avid smoker and I’m not. We chatted laughed and had a great time overall but i couldn’t get myself to tell her how I really feel since I was so high and paranoid, I wanted to do it so bad but something stopped me, I think it was the fear of being rejected and just that happened. 
When I got home and my high wore off I texted her and told her how I really feel about her and that I loved her.  I wasn’t exactly sure if she felt the same but I wasn’t prepared for a rejection either. She said she was flattered and sorry that I was under the wrong impression all along and that she feels guilty she kept going out with me. She said she is disoriented and not in the mental state for a relationship and that she is afraid she will fuck it up. I don’t think she is being honest but regardless I didn’t take it so well since I had massive feelings for this girl and I thought it was mutual. I feel terrible I don’t know that exactly went wrong and I’ve been feeling down ever since. I told her I understand her and that we can remain friends but honestly  I don’t think I can do that given how strong my feelings are for her. I need to get over it and I don’t know how.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us. I'm so sorry to hear that things didn't turn out how you wanted to, but it was really brave of you to be vulnerable and open up about your feelings; I think that if you didn't, you would be left wondering 'What if?' which probably would have been quite a challenging prospect to contemplate. I can sense that these feelings are pretty raw for you right now, and that's okay. In this kind of situation, it's just important to give yourself time and space to heal. There isn't really a textbook way to get through it, and everyone is different, but it definitely helps to have space from the person and just be patient with your feelings, trusting that they are only temporary and will pass. What do you think?

[ash16]

On 10/9/2022 at 3:12 AM, Hickelberry said:

A couple of weeks ago I got in touch with a girl from my uni. We were in the same year but have never talked before. 
I asked her out on a date and we went out a couple of times and things went smoothly but no romantic involvement.  We became quite close and would talk and go out almost every day. We had some meaningful conversations and would often discuss about really personal matters like our insecurities so we really started to know each other.  
It became a custom to see each other late at night and smoke pot at her place or mine. I had a great time with her and I knew I wanted a relationship from the moment we first met but something stopped me from confessing my true feelings from the start.

Yesterday I was at her place and we we got pretty high watched a movie but nothing happened, she’s an avid smoker and I’m not. We chatted laughed and had a great time overall but i couldn’t get myself to tell her how I really feel since I was so high and paranoid, I wanted to do it so bad but something stopped me, I think it was the fear of being rejected and just that happened. 
When I got home and my high wore off I texted her and told her how I really feel about her and that I loved her.  I wasn’t exactly sure if she felt the same but I wasn’t prepared for a rejection either. She said she was flattered and sorry that I was under the wrong impression all along and that she feels guilty she kept going out with me. She said she is disoriented and not in the mental state for a relationship and that she is afraid she will fuck it up. I don’t think she is being honest but regardless I didn’t take it so well since I had massive feelings for this girl and I thought it was mutual. I feel terrible I don’t know that exactly went wrong and I’ve been feeling down ever since. I told her I understand her and that we can remain friends but honestly  I don’t think I can do that given how strong my feelings are for her. I need to get over it and I don’t know how.

its not your fault this type of stuff happens all the time we cant control other emotions we always have this risk with any relationship or anything life