How do you think we can explore our sexuality??

[Monsoon]

5 minutes ago, learningbrain said:

My schedule is tight this week. My parents insist to focus on my exams. So I will talk to her after exams ie after Dec 17.

 

Hey,

You're more than welcome for the help. We are here to listen to you and support you however we can. It might also be helpful to ask some of your friends what they think about the situation because it's always good to get more opinions.

Would you like anymore help with this now, or are you okay? 

[learningbrain]

I will update you on how the call went on. My friends don't know that I have a crush on her. You are the only who knows that.

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, learningbrain said:

I will update you on how the call went on. My friends don't know that I have a crush on her. You are the only who knows that.

Hey there,

Okay, I will keep a look out for your update. Good luck! :) 

[learningbrain]

Thanks.

 

[learningbrain]

It's been many days since my exams are completed. I still have to write my 10 th class ICSE Board exams. I don't feel like messaging her.

[learningbrain]

My parents(mom, grandmother) didn't want enroll my name in a college which is far away my city. I will have to stay in a college hostel if I join in that college. My parents are thinking to enroll my name in that college.They changed their mind when they saw my dedication towards my goal. They will be checking the facilities after my exams.

My father is my step father.I don't have a good relationship with him.My father is not supportive. My mom had a small fight regarding enrolling me in the college.

I am scared I will catch feelings for some girl.I will have to tell my parents about it. I am scared that my father will scold my mother for sending me to that college. He would say that I became gay because I was sent to that college.

I eventually thought that I will explain everything. I will explain how pure our love is. They will understand my perspective.

 

 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

It's nice to hear from you again. It sounds like there's a few things going on for you at the moment, and I'm wondering, would you like to tell me which one is bothering you the most so we can then talk about that one first? Take care and speak soon. 

[learningbrain]

 

I remembered that I liked my female maths teacher when I was in second class. I was disappointed when I got to know she had a daughter.I didn't know gay people even existed. Do you think I had feelings for her?

Did you have feelings for someone at a young age?

Am I confusing extreme respect with attraction? 

[learningbrain]

45 minutes ago, learningbrain said:

My parents(mom, grandmother) didn't want enroll my name in a college which is far away my city. I will have to stay in a college hostel if I join in that college. My parents are thinking to enroll my name in that college.They changed their mind when they saw my dedication towards my goal. They will be checking the facilities after my exams.

My father is my step father.I don't have a good relationship with him.My father is not supportive. My mom had a small fight regarding enrolling me in the college.

I am scared I will catch feelings for some girl.I will have to tell my parents about it. I am scared that my father will scold my mother for sending me to that college. He would say that I became gay because I was sent to that college.

I eventually thought that I will explain everything. I will explain how pure our love is. They will understand my perspective.

The college thing is sorted.I even found the solution. I will explain everything about how I feel when am I attracted to someone. I have the confidence that they will understand me.

 

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, learningbrain said:

I remembered that I liked my female maths teacher when I was in second class. I was disappointed when I got to know she had a daughter.I didn't know gay people even existed. Do you think I had feelings for her?

Did you have feelings for someone at a young age?

Am I confusing extreme respect with attraction? 

Hey there,

It's a really interesting question you asked about if you're confusing extreme respect with attraction. I'm wondering, how would you say the two are different from eachother? 

[learningbrain]

Extreme respect means that I want to gain all the knowledge from her.Therefore I admire her.

Attraction means liking her for external beauty.

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, learningbrain said:

Extreme respect means that I want to gain all the knowledge from her.Therefore I admire her.

Attraction means liking her for external beauty.

Hey,

Okay, and with your female maths teacher, which one was the case for you? Was it knowledge, or beauty, or both? 

[learningbrain]

I think it's her beauty but I feel embarassed to say that I was attracted to someone when I was so young.

I don't know why I like her. I liked her because I thought she considered me her best student. Many teachers considered me as thier best student but I didn't not consider as the best teacher.

When ever someone asked who my favourite teacher was, I would name her.

I have a question

Is it normal to like someone when you're hardly 10 years old?

Do you mind if I ask you something?

Did you have feelings for someone at a young age ?(You don't have to answer if you don't want to).

[learningbrain]

It will hard for me  to accept even if know I am gay. I will be thrown out of the school if I come out.

It's not okay for any teenager to be a relationship in India.

I dream to join the armed forces. I don't even know I will have my job after I come out. I don't know if they will select me if they know I am gay.

What I am worried about is my career after I come out?

I know that you can't do anything about it.I felt like saying it.

Edited January 11, 2023 by learningbrain

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Although I cannot answer questions about my own experiences, it is completely normal to feel attracted to people from young ages. People develop those kinds of feelings at different ages. It does definitely sound like you like her for sure. I get the sense you might be shaming yourself for having these feelings, but remember, it is completely healthy and normal to have them :) 

I think for now, you have a lot of questions which might remain unanswered until you are sure of your sexuality. This kind of uncertainty can be really uncomfortable, but it is important to learn to accept those feelings and find reassurance in knowing that one day, you will know and will have the answers. This won't last forever. What do you think?

[learningbrain]

Today this morning we were discussing about my life in college. We were calculating if we can meet when it's my grandmother's birthday (it's on Oct 13).We were checking if it will coincide with Dusshera(it's a hindu festival). Unfortunately it didn't coincide.

My grandmother was saying that people will roam around in the name of love and she said that I shouldn't get distracted.She said "We are thinking that a boy will roam around her in the name of love but these day since it's Kaliyug (Bad days) even girls are doing this." 

She was indirectly telling me all of this. It hurts. I know she doesn't want to hurt me. I know that my grandmother was conditioned that being gay was wrong.Eventhough I understand all of this it is hurting me.