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I have confidence to come out, but not really.


Egg
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Holy heck.

I can hardly believe it's almost been a whole year since I first planned on coming out. It was at a diversity program, and every one in my group knew I was bi. But I choked. I couldn't come out to my parents. Almost a year later, after some questioning, I've realized that I'm pan and trans. I'm really scared of coming out, especially to my dad who is basically the definition of "old white dude in america". I've chosen a new full name, since I was just going to change my last name before, but now it takes me a while to hear my dead name and know that it's me. I think that having my parents except that I'm trans is more important than coming out as pan. My plan is that when my parents ask me what I'm going to Halloween as next year, I'm going to tell them (or comic-con). But as the time comes nearer, I've been slowly getting scareder (if that's a word, but judging by the red underline, I'd say not), and that sinking feeling in my chest. I've stared to have some nightmares that are a bit more realistic than the usual blood and gore stuff that keeps me spooked. When the show The Umbrella Academy was released, they said I could watch it in a few years, and now that it's TV-MA, and I've already lost count of how many R movies I've seen, the only real difference I can tell by googling it is that one of the characters is trans, along with his actor, and now my parents say "a while, there are things you wouldn't understand," and I feel kind of depressed about it and that doesn't really help my anxiety about coming out. At the diversity program, we made little name tags with our pronouns and preferred name on it, and without thinking I wrote "He//It," and I guess my parent's didn't like the 'it' part because they asked me if my trans friends were teaching me about pronouns.

I'm sorry if this seemed kinda long, I've just had a lot on my mind lately and needed to get it off of my chest and ask for advice, thank you.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Thank you for opening up to us. No need to apologise for the length, and it's not long. Even if it were, that's no problem, because this is a safe space where you can express yourself however you like, so go for it.

From what you've said, it just sounds like you're having anxiety which is totally normal and expected in this kind of situation, and I'd be curious if you did not have that feeling right now. I know you can do this, so try not to listen to those negative thoughts too much and try to tune into the positive side of things a bit more; it is there, you just have to put more of an effort in to listen. What do you think? Just remember, one day, this will all be done! 

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  • Digital Mentor
15 hours ago, Egg said:

Thank you.

I do feel like if I stopped paying attention to my worries I'd probably do better.

Absolutely. It's more about trying to tune into the positive thoughts more, and for those negative thoughts you have that are based in anxiety, try to turn them into positive ones. What do you think? Would you like to try that for a couple of weeks and let us know how it goes?

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Posted (edited)

Ok, I'm just hoping that the light at the end of this tunnel isn't a train, and if it is, lets hope I've got a ticket!

You?

Edited by Egg
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You've got this egg, we believe in you. Yes you'll have your ups and downs but with the support and courage you won't be in this dark tunnel for long honestly! I thought that but I'm slowly coming out :) and I know you can too !!

I'm okay ty lovely 

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One indoor cat that likes to go the enclosed garden and sit on the carrot pot, and an outdoor cat that will randomly sit outside my window.

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