I cant 😭

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

People expect me to be happy? I've just lost a good friend, like please give me a break I need to delete social media

Hey,

That's okay that you were upset; it's completely normal and it's good to express those feelings. I know you're saying people expect you to be happy, but you can feel whatever you need to feel right now, so whatever's inside, go with that. Also, yeah, maybe delete social media for a week or so to have some time to yourself. What do you think?

[-Leila-]

3 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That's okay that you were upset; it's completely normal and it's good to express those feelings. I know you're saying people expect you to be happy, but you can feel whatever you need to feel right now, so whatever's inside, go with that. Also, yeah, maybe delete social media for a week or so to have some time to yourself. What do you think?

I ran out of the hospital but I'm now back.

[-Leila-]

11 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That's okay that you were upset; it's completely normal and it's good to express those feelings. I know you're saying people expect you to be happy, but you can feel whatever you need to feel right now, so whatever's inside, go with that. Also, yeah, maybe delete social media for a week or so to have some time to yourself. What do you think?

I wrote that message about me running out lol, I tried walking out but wouldn't let me. I been up since 2am it's now 7am I'm exhausted .  Struggling too.

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

I wrote that message about me running out lol, I tried walking out but wouldn't let me. I been up since 2am it's now 7am I'm exhausted .  Struggling too.

Hey there,

It sounds like you had a pretty rough night. Can I ask, why did you want to get away and where were you going to go? Also, how are you feeling now? I hope you manage to get some rest today. Take care and speak soon. 

[-Leila-]

27 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like you had a pretty rough night. Can I ask, why did you want to get away and where were you going to go? Also, how are you feeling now? I hope you manage to get some rest today. Take care and speak soon. 

I'm not sure where I was gonna go just away from the hospital.  Not sure why I wanted to get away but it didn't succeed .  I'm not feeling great refusing everything the nurses try giving me so yeah.

[-Leila-]

Found a trend that can cause harm to you, wish I never found it  ughh

[Monsoon]

7 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

I'm not sure where I was gonna go just away from the hospital.  Not sure why I wanted to get away but it didn't succeed .  I'm not feeling great refusing everything the nurses try giving me so yeah.

Hey there,

It sounds like there was something that made you really want to leave the hospital. I'm wondering, how do you feel when you're in the hospital generally? Is it more positive or negative?

Also, can you tell me more about the trend? It might be helpful if you could send us a link to it as well so we can have a look - you could do this via private message if that's easier as it might help us to protect people. 

[-Leila-]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like there was something that made you really want to leave the hospital. I'm wondering, how do you feel when you're in the hospital generally? Is it more positive or negative?

Also, can you tell me more about the trend? It might be helpful if you could send us a link to it as well so we can have a look - you could do this via private message if that's easier as it might help us to protect people. 

How do I send you a pm? I can't send private messages. Oh it's a old trend on Tiktok I just found !!

[-Leila-]

Done.. I can explain how I found it

[-Leila-]

I'm so tired

[-Leila-]

Got no sleep again

[Maxine G]

1 hour ago, Leilaaaa said:

Got no sleep again

hi love <3 i'm so sorry it sounds like you're having a really rough time, i know how hard it is to lose someone close to you. we're here for you and i will try and help as much as i can. you're loved

[-Leila-]

10 minutes ago, Maxine G said:

hi love <3 i'm so sorry it sounds like you're having a really rough time, i know how hard it is to lose someone close to you. we're here for you and i will try and help as much as i can. you're loved

Thanks. Im definitely not lobed but ty

[Maxine G]

14 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

Thanks. Im definitely not lobed but ty

i'm on a different continent to you and i love and appreciate you for everything that you've done. so many people appreciate you, and i know that just from being on this app, and i know there's many more. i know it can be hard to keep fighting, but you will get there <3

[-Leila-]

1 hour ago, Maxine G said:

i'm on a different continent to you and i love and appreciate you for everything that you've done. so many people appreciate you, and i know that just from being on this app, and i know there's many more. i know it can be hard to keep fighting, but you will get there <3

I haven't done anything thats good though 

[Monsoon]

16 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

Done.. I can explain how I found it

Hey,

Thank you for sending the link over. I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling by the way? How are you doing today?

[-Leila-]

10 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Thank you for sending the link over. I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling by the way? How are you doing today?

I'm not good, thanks for asking. Lsst night was horrible I did the trend and I got blisters now. So I regret it 

[-Leila-]

Heh I regret trying it out. It kills :( 

[Monsoon]

5 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

Heh I regret trying it out. It kills :( 

Thank you for telling me that you did the challenge. Can I ask, what made you do it? 

[-Leila-]

36 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Thank you for telling me that you did the challenge. Can I ask, what made you do it? 

I needed to self harm. The voices were telling me to I couldn't control it.

[Monsoon]

3 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

I needed to self harm. The voices were telling me to I couldn't control it.

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear that. How did you feel after you self-harmed? Was it good or bad, or in between, perhaps?

[-Leila-]

1 minute ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear that. How did you feel after you self-harmed? Was it good or bad, or in between, perhaps?

It was in-between because now I full on regret it. Like my arm looks horrible so like I wish I didn't do it but the voices in mu head would not shut up so I had to do it. It has got bigger but the doctors are keeping an eye on it thankfully. I have felt like doing it again but it ruins my mind  plus it puts me down which leads to me feeling like I'm worth nothing 

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

It was in-between because now I full on regret it. Like my arm looks horrible so like I wish I didn't do it but the voices in mu head would not shut up so I had to do it. It has got bigger but the doctors are keeping an eye on it thankfully. I have felt like doing it again but it ruins my mind  plus it puts me down which leads to me feeling like I'm worth nothing 

Hey,

Yeah, that cycle of how it puts you down and makes you feel like it's worth nothing makes sense. Although self-harm can feel helpful afterwards for a period, it often makes us feel even worse after, and the very act of harming yourself can send messages to your self-esteem saying that you deserve the pain in a way and lead to lower confidence as well. What do you think? Can you tell me about more healthy coping strategies you use to calm down and feel good?

[-Leila-]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, that cycle of how it puts you down and makes you feel like it's worth nothing makes sense. Although self-harm can feel helpful afterwards for a period, it often makes us feel even worse after, and the very act of harming yourself can send messages to your self-esteem saying that you deserve the pain in a way and lead to lower confidence as well. What do you think? Can you tell me about more healthy coping strategies you use to calm down and feel good?

I don't have many but talking to the nurses when I'm really down helps. I know when I burnt myself I didn't talk but I needed that realse ASAP so I just did it. Its the same with my tube. I have thoughts of ripping it out but I know I need it as I probably won't survive without it. I woke up feeling agitated as it was lighting and thundering last night and this morning so I had a panic attack but I then fell asleep. I'm trying my best I really am. By being alive I'm trying my best 

[Aurora]

41 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

I don't have many but talking to the nurses when I'm really down helps. I know when I burnt myself I didn't talk but I needed that realse ASAP so I just did it. Its the same with my tube. I have thoughts of ripping it out but I know I need it as I probably won't survive without it. I woke up feeling agitated as it was lighting and thundering last night and this morning so I had a panic attack but I then fell asleep. I'm trying my best I really am. By being alive I'm trying my best 

Hi there, I find thunderstorms can have that effect on us. I always feel like there is so much energy being released when it's thundering and lighting. 

You're doing really well! There will be lots of ups and downs during recovery and you're also dealing with a very difficult loss. That's a lot to deal with. It sounds like talking to the nurses helps when you are feeling down. Can you think of anything else at all that you use to calm down and feel better?