My vent 😭😭😭😭

[-Leila-]

Just now, Aurora said:

Hi @Leilaaaa, it sounds like you did a big step forward in your recovery yesterday. And it's totally normal that you feel differently the next day. Your body is still getting used to you eating and keeping food down.  And your body and your mind are connected. Do you think this might be why you are feeling like this today? I can remember that you've found some of the meditation videos helpful in the past to calm your mind. Have you tried any of those today? 

I forgot about those videos, I will go find the links blondie sent :)! Thank you for reminding me :)! I think what you said is correct, I'm going to try and eat something 

[Aurora]

That's great to hear that you want to try and eat something. I know that it feels difficult at the moment but it will get easier once your body is used to eating again and keeping food down.  

I hope the videos work. Let us know how you get on. And please know that we are here for you!!

[-Leila-]

15 minutes ago, Aurora said:

That's great to hear that you want to try and eat something. I know that it feels difficult at the moment but it will get easier once your body is used to eating again and keeping food down.  

I hope the videos work. Let us know how you get on. And please know that we are here for you!!

Thanks Aurora  

[-Leila-]

I know it's not healthy but I'm currently making ice cream with chocolate pieces. I'm trying to get myself to eat because it's not good me not eating. The demons she really annoying me telling me to not eat but I'm trying to notnlisten 

[Aurora]

9 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

I know it's not healthy but I'm currently making ice cream with chocolate pieces. I'm trying to get myself to eat because it's not good me not eating. The demons she really annoying me telling me to not eat but I'm trying to notnlisten 

I think it's good to listen to your body and if you feel like ice cream with chocolate pieces then go for it! I think ice cream is a good shout because you are trying to get your body used to eating food again and ice cream goes down really easily (physically speaking).  And it's great that you are finding a way not to listen to that bit of you that is telling you not to eat. Is there anything in particular that is helping you not to listen? 

[-Leila-]

22 minutes ago, Aurora said:

I think it's good to listen to your body and if you feel like ice cream with chocolate pieces then go for it! I think ice cream is a good shout because you are trying to get your body used to eating food again and ice cream goes down really easily (physically speaking).  And it's great that you are finding a way not to listen to that bit of you that is telling you not to eat. Is there anything in particular that is helping you not to listen? 

That I'm loosing weight yes thats my goal but it's making me very poorly. So I need to eat

[-Leila-]

I'm not okay

[Blondie]

Just now, Leilaaaa said:

I'm not okay

Has something happened? 

[-Leila-]

1 minute ago, Blondie said:

Has something happened? 

Feel alone. Mums gone out so self harm thoughts have returned

[Blondie]

Just now, Leilaaaa said:

Feel alone. Mums gone out so self harm thoughts have returned

Although that can feel scary it's a natural reaction and sometimes we need to 're-train' ourself in how we respond. Over time it doe become easier.  

When this happens, a good way to start can be listening to a meditation to re-centre yourself or doing something nice for yourself. 

[-Leila-]

Just now, Blondie said:

Although that can feel scary it's a natural reaction and sometimes we need to 're-train' ourself in how we respond. Over time it doe become easier.  

When this happens, a good way to start can be listening to a meditation to re-centre yourself or doing something nice for yourself. 

I was watching the meditation videos you sent a bit of time ago. Just feel like thats not enough . Just feel out of control 

[Blondie]

2 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

I was watching the meditation videos you sent a bit of time ago. Just feel like thats not enough . Just feel out of control 

Distraction is often the best method to combat the urge in the moment. Can you hit cushions - sing (loudly) & dance - rip something up?

[-Leila-]

37 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Distraction is often the best method to combat the urge in the moment. Can you hit cushions - sing (loudly) & dance - rip something up?

Might walk Ayla

[Blondie]

Great idea. 

[-Leila-]

Just want to distract myself 

[-Leila-]

Feel highly stressed but I need to distract myself 

[Alpha9th]

2 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

Feel highly stressed but I need to distract myself 

Maybe you can try videogames? 

[-Leila-]

29 minutes ago, Alpha9th said:

Maybe you can try videogames? 

I don't play video games. Sadly 

[-Leila-]

Im going on antibiotics . Ugh 

[-Leila-]

Give up 

[-Leila-]

I eat a little bit of a sandwich

[-Leila-]

I'm going sleep goodnight dtl

[-Leila-]

Morning. Doctors phoned back I need injections for B12 

[Alpha9th]

19 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

Morning. Doctors phoned back I need injections for B12 

That's good, it will help you to feel better even now, with all that malnutrition. 

[-Leila-]

56 minutes ago, Alpha9th said:

That's good, it will help you to feel better even now, with all that malnutrition. 

I'm on antibiotics too for a infection :(