My vent 😭😭😭😭

[-Leila-]

Just now, Monsoon said:

That's okay, no need to apologise. You know where we are if you'd like support with anything. 

Thank you, I hope you're okay!

[-Leila-]

I'm seriously not okay.

[Blondie]

7 minutes ago, -Axel- said:

I'm seriously not okay.

Hey there, has something happened?

[-Leila-]

3 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hey there, has something happened?

Urges to seriously self harm is getting to me. But I have nothing I can do it with which is causing me more distress.

[Blondie]

8 minutes ago, -Axel- said:

Urges to seriously self harm is getting to me. But I have nothing I can do it with which is causing me more distress.

Where are you now?

[-Leila-]

So stressed I'm going home tomorrow with support from so many people going forward let it end

[Monsoon]

Hey Axel,

How are you feeling today? How is it going at home so far? 

[-Leila-]

On 7/30/2022 at 1:38 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey Axel,

How are you feeling today? How is it going at home so far? 

It could be better. I'm sleeping because I'm tired. Sorry I haven't had time to check back. Trying my best. 

[-Leila-]

[Monsoon]

56 minutes ago, -Axel- said:

Hey,

How is everything going? Is something on your mind?

[-Leila-]

12 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

How is everything going? Is something on your mind?

A lot is on my mind

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, -Axel- said:

A lot is on my mind

Would you like to tell me the main thing(s) bothering you? 

[-Leila-]

5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Would you like to tell me the main thing(s) bothering you? 

Wanting to end it. . But I'm safe. I spend every moment with my mum until I go to sleep but she checks on me.  I still struggling with eating which is getting to me because I'm getting skinner shish is making me feel V good due to that my plan is working but not working fast enough. I'll never get out of this I'm like this forever.

[Monsoon]

Hey,

It sounds like you're at a pretty low point at the moment, and that's okay. Recovery has its ups and downs, and now is just one of those down periods. Remember how far you've come over the past few months; you're doing so well. Also, I'm glad to hear you're safe. What do you think is helping you to stay safe?

[-Leila-]

13 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

It sounds like you're at a pretty low point at the moment, and that's okay. Recovery has its ups and downs, and now is just one of those down periods. Remember how far you've come over the past few months; you're doing so well. Also, I'm glad to hear you're safe. What do you think is helping you to stay safe?

I'm not sure. I'm to scared to do something as it's always frightened me even though I feel really low and exhausted 

[Monsoon]

Hey,

When thinking about staying safe, are there any relationships that you find are keeping you here or anything else like that? 

[-Leila-]

15 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

When thinking about staying safe, are there any relationships that you find are keeping you here or anything else like that? 

My mum.

I hate social media his comment just makes me want to commit

[-Leila-]

Why do people treat me so horribly. Its literally like everything that happens its my fault so they blame me I'm literally struggling  

[Monsoon]

18 minutes ago, -Axel- said:

Why do people treat me so horribly. Its literally like everything that happens its my fault so they blame me I'm literally struggling  

Would you like to tell me more about this? Also, what is happening with social media?

[-Leila-]

7 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Would you like to tell me more about this? Also, what is happening with social media?

It's this guy who's my friend, he's always picking on me. Ever since I came out trans. I feel isolated.

[Monsoon]

1 hour ago, -Axel- said:

It's this guy who's my friend, he's always picking on me. Ever since I came out trans. I feel isolated.

I'm sorry to hear about this. What has he been saying to you? Also, have you thought about blocking him perhaps? 

[-Leila-]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

I'm sorry to hear about this. What has he been saying to you? Also, have you thought about blocking him perhaps? 

He gets his friends to have ago at me. Because I dated him when I wasn't trans, now he thinks it's okay to make jokes about what happened to me previously etc.

[Monsoon]

13 hours ago, -Axel- said:

He gets his friends to have ago at me. Because I dated him when I wasn't trans, now he thinks it's okay to make jokes about what happened to me previously etc.

Hey,

That sounds like it must be really hurtful for you. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but at Ditch the Label,  we are trusted flaggers for the following social media platforms: Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, Tumblr, and Twitter. This means that we can report content to them through a different route than standard users and our reports are prioritised due to being trusted flaggers. So, if you are being targeted on one of these social media platforms, you can send us the evidence (this could be screenshots and links to content) to us at report@ditchthelabel.org and we may be able to report it for you and have the accounts removed. What do you think?

[-Leila-]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That sounds like it must be really hurtful for you. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but at Ditch the Label,  we are trusted flaggers for the following social media platforms: Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, Tumblr, and Twitter. This means that we can report content to them through a different route than standard users and our reports are prioritised due to being trusted flaggers. So, if you are being targeted on one of these social media platforms, you can send us the evidence (this could be screenshots and links to content) to us at report@ditchthelabel.org and we may be able to report it for you and have the accounts removed. What do you think?

Oh I didn't know that! When I have time from taking meds etc I'll do that. One positive I called the number 116134 last night as I felt suicidal so I spoke to them for a couple of hours and it really helped they said I can contact them any time whenever I need someone to listen to me so I'm very thankful I can.

[Monsoon]

I’m really glad you managed to call them and you now have someone else you can talk to if you feel like it’s all getting a bit much :)

What do you think it was about the conversation that helped so much?