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I'm scared I'm going to lose myself


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[EXTRA TW: SELF HARM]

Well, I'll start at the beginning. You should probably know that I have a hard time controlling my emotions - and I may have outbursts for no reason. One second I'm fine, then I start crying, then laughing hysterically, then I just tremble on the floor for a while - and then I'm fine until it happens again. I don't know why this happens. Also, for some reason, I just start falling into a deep state of depression and making bad decisions like hurting myself, telling myself bad things and giving up healthy habits. 

And here's the thing - 

I'm like this for a week. . .and then Poof! It just goes away and I'm fine. . But then it comes back again. 

And I feel like I'm victimizing myself for attention. . .

What if I am??

Help

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1 hour ago, Aidan26 said:

[EXTRA TW: SELF HARM]

Well, I'll start at the beginning. You should probably know that I have a hard time controlling my emotions - and I may have outbursts for no reason. One second I'm fine, then I start crying, then laughing hysterically, then I just tremble on the floor for a while - and then I'm fine until it happens again. I don't know why this happens. Also, for some reason, I just start falling into a deep state of depression and making bad decisions like hurting myself, telling myself bad things and giving up healthy habits. 

And here's the thing - 

I'm like this for a week. . .and then Poof! It just goes away and I'm fine. . But then it comes back again. 

And I feel like I'm victimizing myself for attention. . .

What if I am??

Help

Hey there,

I'm so sorry this happens to you.

It doesn't sounds like you're victimising yourself or doing it for attention as I imagine it's really scary when it happens and that you'd rather it didn't happen at all.

Some people that experience episodes like this might find it's a form of anxiety or depression. One thing that might be useful (assuming you haven't already done this) is to get a full check up with your doctor to rule out a specific health condition.

Do you find there's any pattern to this occurring?  

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43 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Hey there,

I'm so sorry this happens to you.

It doesn't sounds like you're victimising yourself or doing it for attention as I imagine it's really scary when it happens and that you'd rather it didn't happen at all.

Some people that experience episodes like this might find it's a form of anxiety or depression. One thing that might be useful (assuming you haven't already done this) is to get a full check up with your doctor to rule out a specific health condition.

Do you find there's any pattern to this occurring?  

Yeah, I really wish this didn't happen.

There's not really any pattern to it, it just happens. Sometimes for a whole week, or only one day and then it doesn't happen for another 2 months.

I did go to a therapy appointment a while back, but I don't think we covered anything, so that didn't really help much

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1 hour ago, Aidan26 said:

Yeah, I really wish this didn't happen.

There's not really any pattern to it, it just happens. Sometimes for a whole week, or only one day and then it doesn't happen for another 2 months.

I did go to a therapy appointment a while back, but I don't think we covered anything, so that didn't really help much

Have you noticed it happens at time of high stress or could it be anytime at all?

I was thinking more of your GP / Primary Care doctor to make sure there's no underlying cause.

Are you able to access an appointment?

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21 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Have you noticed it happens at time of high stress or could it be anytime at all?

I was thinking more of your GP / Primary Care doctor to make sure there's no underlying cause.

Are you able to access an appointment?

It kinda kicks in when I'm stressed, but usually it's because I overthink things and then get upset about them and then it happens

And I might be able to make an appointment , I can look into that.

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15 minutes ago, Aidan26 said:

It kinda kicks in when I'm stressed, but usually it's because I overthink things and then get upset about them and then it happens

And I might be able to make an appointment , I can look into that.

It does sound like it could be an anxiety attack but definitely worth checking with your doctor.

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9 minutes ago, Blondie said:

It does sound like it could be an anxiety attack but definitely worth checking with your doctor.

Oh, yeah that does sound like an anxiety attack - that might be it.

If it is, is there any way to prevent them??

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27 minutes ago, Aidan26 said:

Oh, yeah that does sound like an anxiety attack - that might be it.

If it is, is there any way to prevent them??

Definitely proactively looking after your mental health so things are less likely to build up.

1) This meditation video is excellent and only a little over 4-minutes:

2) If you find your anxiety rising, this method can help to reduce symptoms and/or stop it:

 

Try and concentrate on your breathing to gradually calm down.  The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can often help: 

5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings.

4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet. 

3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. Focus on things you can hear outside of your body.

2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in bed and can smell a pillow. If you need to, take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside.

1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—it could be gum, juice or toothpaste.

I hope they help. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Definitely proactively looking after your mental health so things are less likely to build up.

1) This meditation video is excellent and only a little over 4-minutes:

2) If you find your anxiety rising, this method can help to reduce symptoms and/or stop it:

Try and concentrate on your breathing to gradually calm down.  The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can often help: 

5: Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. It could be a pen, a spot on the ceiling, anything in your surroundings.

4: Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. It could be your hair, a pillow, or the ground under your feet. 

3: Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This could be any external sound. Focus on things you can hear outside of your body.

2: Acknowledge TWO things you can smell. Maybe you are in bed and can smell a pillow. If you need to, take a brief walk to find a scent you could smell soap in your bathroom, or nature outside.

1: Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like—it could be gum, juice or toothpaste.

I hope they help. 

This helps a ton, thank you so much!!

I will try this next time I get an anxiety attack.

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