Ambi Posted May 31, 2022 Share Posted May 31, 2022 (edited) One of the reasons I realized I might be queer was because I hung out around a LOT of people in the LGBT community and I honestly think gaydar might be real because a bunch of my queer friends always alsked me if I was queer and I always denied it (I was confused at the time). Now that I am sure that I'm bisexual, I feel like I'll look like an idiot in front of my friends if I come out. I know people who have been put since they were eleven and I feel like I should have figured out my feelings sooner or should have been honest with my queer friends of all people. Coming out to my mom is out of the question, but I should be able to come out to all my friends. I just feel uncomfortable because I've been lying to them for so long even if some of the times it was on accident. Edited May 31, 2022 by Ambi Queer was queen MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly9090 Posted May 31, 2022 Share Posted May 31, 2022 This post was recognized by Blondie! "Fantastic advice!" Molly9090 was awarded the badge 'Great Advice' and 25 points. Hi, @Ambi! Believe me, I know the struggle of questioning your sexuality at an early age, and it is confusing as heck until you finally realize who you really are, and a sense of clarity finally rushes in. :D About denying in the past, I wouldn't really blame it on you, per se. You were questioning at that time, so it was okay to be perplexed and not completely open about it at this stage. Now that you're sure; congratulations! Welcome to the community! I know it can be hard to come out to your friends, because you might be unsure of how to react. Since you've mentioned not being completely honest with them back then, it may put you under a spotlight once you come out, but I'm sure they'll welcome you all the same! They're your friends and they're queer, so it sounds like they've got an understanding of the process. And remember; everyone figures it out at different times. Some of them have an understanding of it and are sure at their pre-teens or earlier, while some others figure it out in teenage hood, or even adulthood. Everyone's minds work differently, therefore they figure it out at different stages, and that is completely okay. I figured out I'm bi just this year, after 2+ years of questioning. It is completely okay. Your thoughts and feelings are valid nonetheless. If you decide to come out to your queer friends, and explain the situation of you questioning your identity for so long, and just be completely honest with them about how you felt and currently feel, I guess the worst case scenario would be them asking you why you lied to them, which I think, based on your understanding and experience of questioning, you should be able to answer! Best case scenario, and, depending on how strong your bond is with them, they'll be happy that you've figured it out and confided in them, and they'll welcome you with open arms. :) Just remember, be honest and open, figure out what you wanna say, If you're nervous, stand in front of a mirror and practice speaking to it! Also, you don't need to rush the time when you need to talk to your friends. Speak to them when you feel ready, and are in a comfortable situation with them. You got this, girl. :) 1 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambi Posted May 31, 2022 Author Share Posted May 31, 2022 Thanks for that. It made me feel a whole lot better about the situation. I honestly don't know how they'll react, but I hope they don't feel weird about me lying before. I'm not really out to a bunch of people and I don't feel comfortable telling just anyone yet, even if they are queer. I really hope they understand that I have been confused for a while and I finally feel comfortable telling them. I feel insecure about coming out so late mainly because my younger sister came out before me and that still makes me feel like kind of an idiot. Also, I see all my friends living loud and proud and I kind of want that for myself. I just wish I'd figured things out sooner. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molly9090 Posted May 31, 2022 Share Posted May 31, 2022 No problem! I'm glad I helped. ^^ Also, you don't have to feel regretful over the past, it's okay. The past is the past and what's important is that you've finally figured it out now. If you're not comfortable to tell anyone now, it's completely okay. Take your time to figure out what you wanna say and how, and tell them whenever you think the time is right. :) MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Daisie Posted May 31, 2022 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted May 31, 2022 Hey @Ambi Welcome to the Community. I am Daisie a Community Warden here on the forums, and I just wanted to drop in to send you a warm welcome! As you can see our awesome Community is super supportive and it's lovely to see other users offering words of comfort and support. We are all here for you. Look forward to seeing you around. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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