eating disorder Tw: talks about restricted eating, and vomiting, and talks about eating disorders. . HELP

[-Leila-]

I just want to go home

[-Leila-]

I've eaten a fruit salad that Has taken Me since lunch time.. but its a progress ig.

[Blondie]

1 minute ago, -Leila- said:

I've eaten a fruit salad that Has taken Me since lunch time.. but its a progress ig.

That is progress! 

[-Leila-]

Just now, Blondie said:

That is progress! 

Thanks. Gonna go take my medication then probably head to bed even though this bed is so uncomfortable. Gonna say night to the psych team too. 

[-Leila-]

I feel sick .

[-Leila-]

The thoughts of self harming are so strong. I hate it

[Blondie]

39 minutes ago, -Leila- said:

The thoughts of self harming are so strong. I hate it

I’m sure that such a restless night will have exacerbated this too. Are you telling the staff there when this happens?

[-Leila-]

1 minute ago, Blondie said:

I’m sure that such a restless night will have exacerbated this too. Are you telling the staff there when this happens?

I told a worker their keeping an eye on me of course. Sadly I have nothing around me to self harm  

[-Leila-]

I give up

[Blondie]

5 minutes ago, -Leila- said:

I give up

Hey there, any recovery is going to have good days and bad but it's the overall progress you make that counts. Good days don't rule out 'bad' ones. Has anything specific happened to spark this feeling?

[-Leila-]

1 minute ago, Blondie said:

Hey there, any recovery is going to have good days and bad but it's the overall progress you make that counts. Good days don't rule out 'bad' ones. Has anything specific happened to spark this feeling?

Feeling sick. Just woke up and I didn't know where I was. I thought I was being attacked

 

[Blondie]

1 hour ago, -Leila- said:

Feeling sick. Just woke up and I didn't know where I was. I thought I was being attacked

That's horrible when you wake up like that - you feel really out of sorts until you properly wake up.

Have you ever tried meditation videos?

[-Leila-]

10 minutes ago, Blondie said:

That's horrible when you wake up like that - you feel really out of sorts until you properly wake up.

Have you ever tried meditation videos?

Are they any good? I've heard about them but not fully known if it's any good or not. Yeah if suckz because thoughts if when I was younger came up when I thought that.

[Blondie]

2 minutes ago, -Leila- said:

Are they any good? I've heard about them but not fully known if it's any good or not. Yeah if suckz because thoughts if when I was younger came up when I thought that.

I'd definitely recommend them - they can be used proactively to start your day / end your day in a good way or reactively, if you're feeling stressed.

I've dropped a couple of ours below - if you feel like trying them, let me know how you get on.

Starting at 4.5 mins > 15 mins.

4 min, 37 secs.

5 mins.

15 mins.

 

[-Leila-]

3 minutes ago, Blondie said:

I'd definitely recommend them - they can be used proactively to start your day / end your day in a good way or reactively, if you're feeling stressed.

I've dropped a couple of ours below - if you feel like trying them, let me know how you get on.

Starting at 4.5 mins > 15 mins.

4 min, 37 secs.

5 mins.

15 mins.

I'm going to go try these out, thank you.

[-Leila-]

They were really fantastic thanks!!

[Blondie]

1 minute ago, -Leila- said:

They were really fantastic thanks!!

I'm glad they helped. It might be an idea to start including them in your daily routine if you can.

[-Leila-]

Just now, Blondie said:

I'm glad they helped. It might be an idea to start including them in your daily routine if you can.

I feel relaxed now, obviously not completely but its helped massively 

[-Leila-]

I just want the pain to stop. Its all too much, I feel like yes I'm talking to the right people but I hate it. I hate myself. I don't open up enough to get the right support. I don't even deserve it. I'm a failure.  We all know that but I don't know anymore it's too much. I hate everything 

[-Leila-]

Let me freaking do it myself. No need to force a tube down my throat 

[Blondie]

30 minutes ago, -Axel- said:

Let me freaking do it myself. No need to force a tube down my throat 

It sounds like you're having a difficult time. Have you managed to eat anything?

[-Leila-]

13 minutes ago, Blondie said:

It sounds like you're having a difficult time. Have you managed to eat anything?

No. I'm suffering. Woke up in this really unsettling mood and they want to put a feeding tube inside to get food in buy I'm having none of it. They said they'll have to force me if not.

[Blondie]

11 minutes ago, -Axel- said:

No. I'm suffering. Woke up in this really unsettling mood and they want to put a feeding tube inside to get food in buy I'm having none of it. They said they'll have to force me if not.

When was the last time you managed to eat anything?

[-Leila-]

5 minutes ago, Blondie said:

When was the last time you managed to eat anything?

Yesterday early morning 

[-Leila-]

Just now, -Axel- said:

Yesterday early morning 

They are wanting to put on in because how much weight I've lost etc. And my vital signs keep falling below normal so their worried etc.