How do I come out to my parents I dont know if there homophobic or not we havent ever talked about something like lgbtq and IM SCARED *TERRIFIED FACE*

[ChaoticGayness]

umm hi im new on this site i dont really know how it works but im hoping someone whos a real person out there can tell me how to come out to my parents

cuz i have a really good relationship with my dad hes my bestie i would feel really comfortable coming out to him if i i knew how but my mom was raised christan and she has really weird oppinons about lgbtq like "oh i dont mind them but nobody can really decide what they are\want until there brain is fully developed blah blah blah" but im twelve and i know im definity not straight not sure if im pan or bi so i also need help with that.....

all this gives me a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach like i did something wrong im so worried they wont accept me and theyll disown me or something im legit terrified right now

okay but on another topic if a real person responds to this i will give them like a million thank yous i just need to vent this

-peace,

yarrow :)

[Hazard]

Hi! I think the first step to knowing how to come out is to judge their opinion on the lgbtq+ community. My advice for that is to ask them a very casual question about it. For example, you could ask if two guys can get married. Your parents will probably give you a good idea on what they think about it. 

[ChaoticGayness]

okay THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

I will definity be trying this out :) I'll tell you how it goes 

 

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, ChaoticGayness said:

umm hi im new on this site i dont really know how it works but im hoping someone whos a real person out there can tell me how to come out to my parents

cuz i have a really good relationship with my dad hes my bestie i would feel really comfortable coming out to him if i i knew how but my mom was raised christan and she has really weird oppinons about lgbtq like "oh i dont mind them but nobody can really decide what they are\want until there brain is fully developed blah blah blah" but im twelve and i know im definity not straight not sure if im pan or bi so i also need help with that.....

all this gives me a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach like i did something wrong im so worried they wont accept me and theyll disown me or something im legit terrified right now

okay but on another topic if a real person responds to this i will give them like a million thank yous i just need to vent this

-peace,

yarrow :)

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear you would be really comfortable coming out to your dad :)

With your mom, would you say she's homophobic, or is it just that she has a general view that young people cannot decide on their identity at such a young age What do you think?

[ChaoticGayness]

hmmm idk if she really IS homophobic or not she was just raised really weird her family was like WEIRD weird like bad weird y'know so she has some questionable theryies on stuff i think she thinks that young people cant come out at anything like that but she also still refers to one of my cousins as HE and Julian instead of SHE/HER and Jessica and she (jessica) is about 30 years old! 

[Monsoon]

14 hours ago, ChaoticGayness said:

hmmm idk if she really IS homophobic or not she was just raised really weird her family was like WEIRD weird like bad weird y'know so she has some questionable theryies on stuff i think she thinks that young people cant come out at anything like that but she also still refers to one of my cousins as HE and Julian instead of SHE/HER and Jessica and she (jessica) is about 30 years old! 

Ah, okay, that's tricky around your cousin. Why do you think she still refers to her at him? 

[ChaoticGayness]

hmm i dont really know it might be for the benifit of my younger siblings since they dont really understand what the lgbtq thing is (poor little uneducated beans bless them)

BUT ON ANOTHER TOPIC..... i talked to my dad about his opinon on lgbtq community and i just straight up asked him "are you homophobic?" and he just laughed and was like, "no way im all about love" hes corny and hippy that way but now im a step closer to coming out to him!!! 

[Hazard]

2 hours ago, ChaoticGayness said:

hmm i dont really know it might be for the benifit of my younger siblings since they dont really understand what the lgbtq thing is (poor little uneducated beans bless them)

BUT ON ANOTHER TOPIC..... i talked to my dad about his opinon on lgbtq community and i just straight up asked him "are you homophobic?" and he just laughed and was like, "no way im all about love" hes corny and hippy that way but now im a step closer to coming out to him!!! 

That's good! Do you think you're going to come out to him soon? 

[Monsoon]

16 hours ago, ChaoticGayness said:

hmm i dont really know it might be for the benifit of my younger siblings since they dont really understand what the lgbtq thing is (poor little uneducated beans bless them)

BUT ON ANOTHER TOPIC..... i talked to my dad about his opinon on lgbtq community and i just straight up asked him "are you homophobic?" and he just laughed and was like, "no way im all about love" hes corny and hippy that way but now im a step closer to coming out to him!!! 

Hey there,

Okay, so it could be that she is doing it to protect others, but I guess that it's still not good is it because it invalidates the experience of your cousin. What do you think?

Also, thats's great news about your dad. How did that make you feel? :) 

[ChaoticGayness]

hey im back its been a chaotic week :)

honestly i dont really know what i think about my mom i think (key word THINK) that shes not homophobic

but on the other hand her parents (my grandparents on my moms side) are SUPER homophobic and old fashion *blegh*  so i dont really know

i dont think im going to come out to him yet cuz honestly i dont even know what i identify as yet! like i like boys but i also like girls and i think im pan but not sure yet. 

[Juliasta]

Hey 

So in my opinion you don't have to label yourself to come out to someone. You could just say that you like boys and girls. I'm not sure what sexuality I am either so I just say I don't label myself if people ask.

Also a friend of mine is was a little scared to come out to their parents too so they asked their parents what their reaction would be if their brother came out as gay just to be reassured. 

Hope I could help just a little bit!

 

 

 

 

Edited May 23, 2022 by Juliasta

[Monsoon]

10 hours ago, ChaoticGayness said:

hey im back its been a chaotic week :)

honestly i dont really know what i think about my mom i think (key word THINK) that shes not homophobic

but on the other hand her parents (my grandparents on my moms side) are SUPER homophobic and old fashion *blegh*  so i dont really know

i dont think im going to come out to him yet cuz honestly i dont even know what i identify as yet! like i like boys but i also like girls and i think im pan but not sure yet. 

Hey there,

Yeah, most people tend to prefer to be sure about their sexuality before coming out, but others also come out when they are questioning as well, and it's just about what the best thing for you is really. Would you like anymore support at the moment, or are you good?

[proudperson72]

You could always come out to just your dad. He's made it pretty clear that he supports LGBTQ+, so coming out to him first would guarantee an ally (no pun intended) to help come out to your mom.

[girl in red]

On 5/17/2022 at 3:45 AM, ChaoticGayness said:

umm hi im new on this site i dont really know how it works but im hoping someone whos a real person out there can tell me how to come out to my parents

cuz i have a really good relationship with my dad hes my bestie i would feel really comfortable coming out to him if i i knew how but my mom was raised christan and she has really weird oppinons about lgbtq like "oh i dont mind them but nobody can really decide what they are\want until there brain is fully developed blah blah blah" but im twelve and i know im definity not straight not sure if im pan or bi so i also need help with that.....

all this gives me a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach like i did something wrong im so worried they wont accept me and theyll disown me or something im legit terrified right now

okay but on another topic if a real person responds to this i will give them like a million thank yous i just need to vent this

-peace,

yarrow :)

i know this is probably a bit late to reply but i need to say: wow! i have never read anything that i relate to  more! i have had a crush on both girls and boys and i told my friends about my most recent one (a girl) on accident so i think they think i'm a lesbian but i don't think i am. i think i am bi, or pan, or something along that but idk. my mom has already made it pretty clear that she is homophobic cause when a same-sex couple kissed on shows i was watching or something like that she'd make me turn it off (which is one of many things she does like that). i don't know what my dad thinks of lgbtq+ but he usually stands with my mom on things. i don't want to come out to anyone cause what if i'm wrong? what if don't know? i'm not really good with knowing how i feel and i don't even know if what i feel for this girl is a crush. could you tell me how everything worked out for you? i really need help . i have no idea what to do.