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This is just me introducing myself cuse I'm new.


Dean    

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42 minutes ago, Dean said:

Hey my name is Dean

I love gymnastics

I have a cat

I'm here because I just wanna get the confidence to come out openly
 

Hey Dean,

Welcome to our community :)

I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to the community users. How is everything going for you? I'm wondering, with coming out, do you feel ready to do it? 

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So I came out to My Mom, brother and his friends (Well his closest friends and he's like 8 yrs older than me), my sister and my friends and my Coach at gymnastics.  And they're all very supportive about it which means alot to me.

But my Dad is a very religious Christian and he's against being in the lgbtq+ , but he's my dad and so I feel like it's important to tell him but everyone who know said I should wait until I'm 16.

And if I do come out openly then I'm worried about what will happen at my gymnastics. And I just started practicing later in the evening because I'm an older level.

And I'm just worried about how everyone will react because I don't know most of them.

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Hey there,

It's completely normal to have these worries about how things might change and how people will react. It's a really big step to take and these feelings are totally understandable. I'm wondering, with your dad, how are you feeling about telling him? Also, even though he is against being LGBTQ+, could it be different when you come out because your his child?

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So I'm feeling nervous about telling him because when my brother came out my dad didn't want to talk to him for a while and he was on my brothers case about how wrong it is. And all his friends from church didn't want to talk to him and even my one friend didn't come to my younger sister's birthday because my brother is gay. 

So after seeing how my Dad just couldn't accept that part of my brother I'm worried about how he'll react.

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Hey there,

I completely get why you're feeling this way after seeing how your dad reacted to your brother coming out. Your reaction is completely normal. I guess I'm wondering, how are things between your dad and brother now? For some parents, having their child come out can be a big shock to the system which leads to these kinds of reactions. However, over time, they usually end up becoming more accepting, and that's because of the strong bond between parent and child. What do you think? 

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So my parents are split up and my brother stays by my Mom but they don't have the best relationship, but when they are around me and my sister they act polite but they don't go out of their way to talk to or be around each other. And when they are you can feel a little tension.

But my brother is older than me and so he doesn't talk about my Dad and my Dad doesn't really talk about my brother

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Hey there,

I'm wondering, how do you think your dad is feeling about your brother's sexuality now? Do you think he has become more accepting over time, even if it's just a little bit? 

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1 hour ago, Dean said:

He actually brought it up in a conversation the other day and his opinion hadn't chandged.

Hey,

I'm really sorry to hear that. How did it feel for you when he brought it up? I'm wondering, did he say more about why he thinks being gay is wrong? 

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I felt sad because for me that was a sign that I can't tell him about that part of myself.
But my Dad believes being gay is wrong because he is Christian so he believes all gays go to hell and that it's a cardinal sin

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12 hours ago, Dean said:

I felt sad because for me that was a sign that I can't tell him about that part of myself.
But my Dad believes being gay is wrong because he is Christian so he believes all gays go to hell and that it's a cardinal sin

Hey,

Yeah, that's pretty rough to experience, and feeling sad around this is a completely normal response. I'm wondering, are you still able to tell him even though he thinks it's wrong? What might that be like for you? 

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I don't think I'd be able to tell him. Because I know that he's not accepting of it so I'd feel extremely stressed 

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44 minutes ago, Dean said:

I don't think I'd be able to tell him. Because I know that he's not accepting of it so I'd feel extremely stressed 

Hey there,

It's totally understandable that you'd feel extremely stressed; we all have that need to be accepted for who we are, and when someone we love can't do that, it can be really hurtful. I'm wondering, how do you think your stress might play out over time? Could it get better, stay the same, or increase perhaps? 

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Hey there,

Yeah, definitely. I think it gets to that point where regardless of how other people may react, you end up having to just be true to yourself and love your life in the way you want to. What do you think? 

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37 minutes ago, Dean said:

I think that you're right. Thank you for all the wonderful advice.😊

That's okay! Would you like anymore support, or are you good for now? 

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4 hours ago, Dean said:

I'm alright for now.

Thank you :)

Okay! If you would like support at any point, you know where we are :) 

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