My boyfriend wants to have sex and I’m not ready

[noahthenoob]

My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a couple of weeks and he already wants to have sex; what should I do? What should I tell him? I need help

[Harper]

Hey Noahthenoob,

I'm so glad you've opened up about this - I know it can sometimes be difficult to talk about sex. I think the most important thing here is to recognise and support your own boundaries and not to allow anybody to bully you into doing anything that you don't want to do. Having sex for the first time is a huge step and many people decide to wait until they have a strong emotional bond with somebody before doing it for the first time.

 

It is great that you have already established your boundary and my advice now would be to talk to him and tell him that you are not ready and that having sex for the first time is a big deal and not something you ever want to rush into. If he's a keeper and worth investing in, he will respect your boundaries and understand. He will give you the space and let you lead on it when you are ready. This could be in a few months, or in a few years - either way, if he is the right person for you he will respect you and wait.

 

If he isn't the right person for you, he will try to pressure you into doing it and will keep asking you. He may even try to convince you that everybody else is doing it and that it isn't a big deal. Believe me when I say this, but if he does any of those things, he isn't a good fit for you.

 

Having sex for the first time should be memorable for the right reasons so please never allow anybody to pressure you into doing something that you may regret and be upset about at a later date.

 

There's also no set age when people are ready to start having sex. Everybody is different, so even if a friend is doing it - it doesn't mean you have to. Take your time and make sure your first experience is a positive one where you feel good about your decision.

 

How do you feel about this advice?

 

Harper ?

[noahthenoob]

Thank you so much Harper. I have taken this advice and told him; he said he'll wait for me. This advice helped so much

[Harper]

That's such good news. Just keep an eye out incase he tries to pressure you and remember that it's okay to say no and have boundaries. Please do feel free to utilise me for any further advice.

 

Harper

[Guest bingabong]

hey noah i just want to say i know how u feel. im 15 and still not ready and its easy to feel rushed but id say go at your own speed