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Should I come out?


BusinessBee ย  ย 

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Hi,ย so my parents are overprotective and react very extremely. I am mostly gay but at my age you can't be completely sure. I can tell my dad isn't fond of LGBTQ+ people and my mom is iffy about it. I am a very shy and anxious person so I could never find out myself.

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On 12/27/2021 at 6:06 AM, BusinessBee said:

Hi,ย so my parents are overprotective and react very extremely. I am mostly gay but at my age you can't be completely sure. I can tell my dad isn't fond of LGBTQ+ people and my mom is iffy about it. I am a very shy and anxious person so I could never find out myself.

I know it's difficult if you feel you can't be open and honest with your family but take this time to explore who you are and share with likeminded people in our community. It's good to have you here!ย 

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10 hours ago, Blondie said:

I know it's difficult if you feel you can't be open and honest with your family but take this time to explore who you are and share with likeminded people in our community. It's good to have you here!ย 

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Thank you!

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3 hours ago, BusinessBee said:

Thank you!

Hey there,

Do you think that when you eventually come out to them that they may change their minds? Many parents do, and it can take time, but there is always hope in this kind of situation because parents have such a strong bond with their children, and that kind of love really helps them to open up their mind. What do you think?ย 

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5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Do you think that when you eventually come out to them that they may change their minds? Many parents do, and it can take time, but there is always hope in this kind of situation because parents have such a strong bond with their children, and that kind of love really helps them to open up their mind. What do you think?ย 

Honestly I think that after a few years they might learn to accept me.

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10 hours ago, BusinessBee said:

Honestly I think that after a few years they might learn to accept me.

Hey there,

That's great to hear and most parents come around to the idea; I guess that it can just take time which means some people have to be very patient. How do you think coming out might go for you? What do you think might go well and what might be a bit tricky?ย 

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53 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That's great to hear and most parents come around to the idea; I guess that it can just take time which means some people have to be very patient. How do you think coming out might go for you? What do you think might go well and what might be a bit tricky?ย 

Knowing my personality, I have to believe that bringing myself to actuallyย come out. For the easy, well I have no idea.

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4 hours ago, BusinessBee said:

Knowing my personality, I have to believe that bringing myself to actuallyย come out. For the easy, well I have no idea.

Hey there,

Yeah, I think it can take a lot of courage to actually come out, but once you do it, people often say how free and light they feel; I think the nerves of doing it can really weigh you down. What do you think?

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I'm going through an almost identical problem currently, and I've found it mildly useful to study my parents reactions when there are "people of non normal sexuality" as my parents say, are around you and on TV. This can help you decide if you want to tell them, or tell them sepratly. But I haven't told my parents that I'm BI, and niether of my parent's reactions are really uplifting, but I have found out that my mum is more execepting. Really just find the parent who seems to support you more and maybe tell them.

ย 

I'm going to quote an old mentor of mine, here, but I think the point might apply to you: "I do find it hard to have communication with people who have had diffrent expirnces than me, which is why I need to find my people".ย 

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2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I think it can take a lot of courage to actually come out, but once you do it, people often say how free and light they feel; I think the nerves of doing it can really weigh you down. What do you think?

I can agree about it weighing me down, it feels like another burden that I must haul.

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2 hours ago, Egg said:

I'm going through an almost identical problem currently, and I've found it mildly useful to study my parents reactions when there are "people of non normal sexuality" as my parents say, are around you and on TV. This can help you decide if you want to tell them, or tell them sepratly. But I haven't told my parents that I'm BI, and niether of my parent's reactions are really uplifting, but I have found out that my mum is more execepting. Really just find the parent who seems to support you more and maybe tell them.

I'm going to quote an old mentor of mine, here, but I think the point might apply to you: "I do find it hard to have communication with people who have had diffrent expirnces than me, which is why I need to find my people".ย 

Thank you for your advice.

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10 hours ago, Egg said:

I'm going through an almost identical problem currently, and I've found it mildly useful to study my parents reactions when there are "people of non normal sexuality" as my parents say, are around you and on TV. This can help you decide if you want to tell them, or tell them sepratly. But I haven't told my parents that I'm BI, and niether of my parent's reactions are really uplifting, but I have found out that my mum is more execepting. Really just find the parent who seems to support you more and maybe tell them.

I'm going to quote an old mentor of mine, here, but I think the point might apply to you: "I do find it hard to have communication with people who have had diffrent expirnces than me, which is why I need to find my people".ย 

This is such good advice and I really like the quote; thanks for sharing :)ย 

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8 hours ago, BusinessBee said:

I can agree about it weighing me down, it feels like another burden that I must haul.

Hey there,

Yeah, I totally get that. I noticed wha you said about this being another burden, and I'm wondering, is something else going on that you'd like to talk about?ย 

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9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I totally get that. I noticed wha you said about this being another burden, and I'm wondering, is something else going on that you'd like to talk about?ย 

Im sorry but what has happened in the past should not be told.

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If you're nervous about coming out, maybe make a plan of action for if it doesn't go right, so that you know that it isn't the end of the world if something happens.

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8 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

If you're nervous about coming out, maybe make a plan of action for if it doesn't go right, so that you know that it isn't the end of the world if something happens.

Ok!

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15 hours ago, BusinessBee said:

Im sorry but what has happened in the past should not be told.

Hey there,

If you do want to speak about it, you know where I am. A problem shared is a problem halved, and I may be able to help you if you need support :)ย 

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9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

If you do want to speak about it, you know where I am. A problem shared is a problem halved, and I may be able to help you if you need support :)ย 

Ok thank you

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