Homophobic parents

[magpie]

I have a homophobic mom  and im bi. (my pronouns are she/her) I am really scared to come out to her not cuz of violence or anything like that just because shes really mentally manipulative and im scared of her for almost no reason. my parents r divorced and my dad knows and is fine with it but my mom is definetely not.

[magpie]

idk what to do, but i cant live my life pretending im a homophobic, christian conservative anti vaxxer all my life can i? I got another hole in my ear and she forced me to take them out and is keeping the 120 dollar earrings from me and my dad. I have an alternate personalitie at her house, and i wish she would let me be whoever i want to be.

[Shree22]

Hey Magpie,

I am really sorry that you are going through that. My family is homophobic too. I myself have not been able to express myself truly because of this. As our parents, they should be able to love us no matter what. It is a good thing that your dad supports you. Confide in him. Tell him how your mom is affecting you. I am sure he will understand you. It can get tiring to hide your true self and be somebody else around your  mom. If this is to continue, you cannot be happy. Don't let anyone take away your identity from you. 

I have tried explain things to my mom on countless occasions. She never actually understood it. Instead she got overemotional and slapped my brother. I always refrain from being myself around my family as they have never understood me. It hurts a lot right now but I know that things will get better one day. You can live your life however you want to. Nobody has the right to stop you. 

Don't put your mental health at stake for anybody. If your mom is affecting you negatively, please talk to you dad or someone you trust and try to find a way out of it. 

I always let my parents be as they are old and they have been brought up with such views. This is not fair. But I know that I cannot go around changing everybody's views and opinion on things. It is al up to them. To change or to not change. 

All I can tell you is to not sacrifice your being and true self for anybody.  There will always be people who love you truly for who you are.

I hope you will find your happiness one day. Take care of yourself. 

If you ever need help with something or want to confide in someone, just remember me.

- Shree

 

[Monsoon]

5 hours ago, magpie said:

I have a homophobic mom  and im bi. (my pronouns are she/her) I am really scared to come out to her not cuz of violence or anything like that just because shes really mentally manipulative and im scared of her for almost no reason. my parents r divorced and my dad knows and is fine with it but my mom is definetely not.

Hey @magpie

Welcome to our community. I'm sorry to hear about how you're scared of coming out to her. I'm wondering, what do you think would happen if you told her?

3 hours ago, Shree22 said:

Hey Magpie,

I am really sorry that you are going through that. My family is homophobic too. I myself have not been able to express myself truly because of this. As our parents, they should be able to love us no matter what. It is a good thing that your dad supports you. Confide in him. Tell him how your mom is affecting you. I am sure he will understand you. It can get tiring to hide your true self and be somebody else around your  mom. If this is to continue, you cannot be happy. Don't let anyone take away your identity from you. 

I have tried explain things to my mom on countless occasions. She never actually understood it. Instead she got overemotional and slapped my brother. I always refrain from being myself around my family as they have never understood me. It hurts a lot right now but I know that things will get better one day. You can live your life however you want to. Nobody has the right to stop you. 

Don't put your mental health at stake for anybody. If your mom is affecting you negatively, please talk to you dad or someone you trust and try to find a way out of it. 

I always let my parents be as they are old and they have been brought up with such views. This is not fair. But I know that I cannot go around changing everybody's views and opinion on things. It is al up to them. To change or to not change. 

All I can tell you is to not sacrifice your being and true self for anybody.  There will always be people who love you truly for who you are.

I hope you will find your happiness one day. Take care of yourself. 

If you ever need help with something or want to confide in someone, just remember me.

- Shree

Hey @Shree22

Thank you for offering advice to Magpie. I think that's one of the amazing things about our community here, the way that the members can help eachother :) 

I just want you to know that I've sent you a message to check in. Speak soon. 

[magpie]

Thanks. thats really helpful. its really to bad that some people are like that. but like you said, theres not anything we can do.

[Wise Mr.Hoo]

I have homophobic parents to and I don't want to tell them I'm afraid they will reject me because I'm Bisexual and I just want to live my life but I'm afraid that they will reject me can someone give me advice or something please 

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, magpie said:

Thanks. thats really helpful. its really to bad that some people are like that. but like you said, theres not anything we can do.

Hey @magpie

It's nice to hear from you again. How are you doing? I'm wondering, how do you think she would react if you told her? 

12 hours ago, GamingCheeseCakeWisdom said:

I have homophobic parents to and I don't want to tell them I'm afraid they will reject me because I'm Bisexual and I just want to live my life but I'm afraid that they will reject me can someone give me advice or something please 

Hey there,

Thanks for sharing this with us. How are you feeling? I'm wondering, can you tell me a little bit more about why you think they may reject you? 

[Wise Mr.Hoo]

My parents hate LGBTQ community and they think is against nature and don't know what the hell to do I just don't want to tell them they will never accept me and I love my parents but I don't know it's hard because when I go to school I can't get a gay relationship I need to get a girl and I'mbisexual so I don't mind but I want to try a gay relationship but it's just never going to work and I don't want to keep it a secret neither do I want to be regected I have a history also of a trauma and I suffer from lonliness and I have depression because of it I don't know what the hell to do Ijust guess I'm not going to have happiness in my life sad.....

 

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, GamingCheeseCakeWisdom said:

My parents hate LGBTQ community and they think is against nature and don't know what the hell to do I just don't want to tell them they will never accept me and I love my parents but I don't know it's hard because when I go to school I can't get a gay relationship I need to get a girl and I'mbisexual so I don't mind but I want to try a gay relationship but it's just never going to work and I don't want to keep it a secret neither do I want to be regected I have a history also of a trauma and I suffer from lonliness and I have depression because of it I don't know what the hell to do Ijust guess I'm not going to have happiness in my life sad.....

Hey there. I really hear the struggle in what you’re saying and that need to be accepted which is completely understandable. I’m wondering, can you tell me more about the loneliness and depression you’ve been experiencing? 

[Wise Mr.Hoo]

Well I guess since we already got into the conversation... *sigh* ... I don't even know where to start when I was a child I had my mother and I loved her alot I would give her the world if i could, My mother was not homophobic unlike my parents right now my mother was completely fine if I would have told her I was bisexual she would be happy for me and support me and as I said before my parents right now love me and I love them to but they're homophobic and I know they will never forgive me, you see the thing here my parents asked me more then once if i'm gay and I told them no more then once because they're ancestors where all straight and they would not consider me there blood, and my last name is different then there's... it's a long storyline of my life and I could right a whole book on it but there are some thing that I rather not say...

 

[Monsoon]

Hey,

I'm kind of getting the sense that you don't want to talk about that, is that right? If so, that's more than okay, just say; it's really important that you feel comfortable during our support, and I completely respect your boundaries, just let me know. 

[Wise Mr.Hoo]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I'm kind of getting the sense that you don't want to talk about that, is that right? If so, that's more than okay, just say; it's really important that you feel comfortable during our support, and I completely respect your boundaries, just let me know. 

It's just that I have a dark past that which is something that I don't want eveyone to know if you want to here more about just tell me I tell you my part of my life and what happend that is if you want to know

 

 

[Monsoon]

Yeah, I totally get not wanting everyone to know. I'm wondering, would you prefer to speak over private message instead?