✨ // Sexuality & Gender // ✨

[ThreeFrogsInATrenchcoat]

// Sexuality & Gender //

[illumi]

may i ask what this topic is for

[Monsoon]

6 hours ago, sevan said:

may i ask what this topic is for

Hey Sevan,

This topic is to discuss anything related to sexuality and gender :) 

[illumi]

22 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey Sevan,

This topic is to discuss anything related to sexuality and gender :) 

gotcha

[CaptainJamie]

Hey everyone! 

I'm Jamie, they/ them, an AFAB non-binary person. So far I've used the labels demiromantic and demisexual as well as Bi to describe my attractions, but I think I might be demi & lesbian. Which isn't a problem in and of itself (except maybe that I hate being the cliché) but may partner is currently experimenting with he/ him pronouns. As a non-binary person myself I totally support my partner with that, but in the last two weeks (of four) I noticed some kind of blockade slowly building up and I think it might be because of me being lesbian?

For example, my partner and I talk a lot about marrying someday and having kids. Before we became a couple I always envisioned myself as a single parent (my parents are divorced...) but with my partner I saw us both as "mums". (A domestic role I feel weirdly comfortable with for not liking anything to do with what's expected of women to do and be.) But I can't see us with my partner as a "Dad", you know?

Anyway, it's been on my mind for a bit now and I know I need to talk to my partner about it, but I also don't want our relationship to get ruined by something so trivial as gender and attraction... So yeah, any advice would be great, I guess, if only so I stop obsessing over it... Thanks :)

Love, Jamie

[Luie]

15 hours ago, CaptainJamie said:

Hey everyone! 

I'm Jamie, they/ them, an AFAB non-binary person. So far I've used the labels demiromantic and demisexual as well as Bi to describe my attractions, but I think I might be demi & lesbian. Which isn't a problem in and of itself (except maybe that I hate being the cliché) but may partner is currently experimenting with he/ him pronouns. As a non-binary person myself I totally support my partner with that, but in the last two weeks (of four) I noticed some kind of blockade slowly building up and I think it might be because of me being lesbian?

For example, my partner and I talk a lot about marrying someday and having kids. Before we became a couple I always envisioned myself as a single parent (my parents are divorced...) but with my partner I saw us both as "mums". (A domestic role I feel weirdly comfortable with for not liking anything to do with what's expected of women to do and be.) But I can't see us with my partner as a "Dad", you know?

Anyway, it's been on my mind for a bit now and I know I need to talk to my partner about it, but I also don't want our relationship to get ruined by something so trivial as gender and attraction... So yeah, any advice would be great, I guess, if only so I stop obsessing over it... Thanks :)

Love, Jamie

Heyy @CaptainJamie, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. Firstly, thank you for being open and sharing what's on your mind. Cliché or not, if those labels resonate and work with you, then be it, there is nothing wrong with that at all. I personally know how difficult it can be navigating such topics in a relationship because it can be a sensitive one and I can tell how you genuinely love and care for your partner and support them in their journey. 

I see why it's posing a challenge for you especially because of how you have envisioned having children and associating the parenting to be as two 'mums'. I am glad that you have the insight of speaking to your partner eventually about this, before doing so, I was wondering if you could share more with me about your parents divorce and their dynamic with you growing up? I do think this will allow us to understand a bit more about your struggles with seeing your partner as a 'dad' and we can perhaps go from there in terms of suggestions and advice. How does this sound to you?