why can’t I be desirable like others ?

[sadlonleygirl]

hi , so I feel REALLY REALLY BAD . Yesterday I hung out with my friend because she wanted to take me out for a belated birthday dinner, I haven’t seen her in awhile and when I did I was like omg she looks so good ! everywhere we went from the train station, on the train and even the restaurant guys were staring at her . even one guy went as far as to telling her she’s pretty in Spanish meanwhile while all of this is happening I feel so bad because why can’t guys look at me or tell me I’m pretty ?? it’s not because I have glasses because she has glasses too , it’s not my weight because she’s skinny too so I don’t understand! Everytime we go out they always pay attention to her and stare at her and in my mind I’m  like “ hello? I’m here too! “ not only that but today at my job we had picture day and I completely hated my pics . I showed my mom my picture day picture thinking she would help boost my confidence since when I’m always feeling bad she reassures me but this time she just laughed  and asked if I could retake my picture  like am I really that ugly? With all of this happening in one day I couldn’t help but think maybe people are lying to me when they say I’m pretty . If I was pretty why don’t guys idk hit on me , why did I never have a BOYFRIEND OR DATE back in highschool??? to make matters worse I got reminded of when I worked at a camp in June of this year and litterly everyone had flings and dates . No one bothered to try to get with me   why do I have to look like this ? thank you for reading my rant if you made it to the end . I have no one to talk to so writing it out was very therapeutic  

                               - sad lonely girl

[Monsoon]

Hey

Welcome to our community

I'm glad to hear that you found it therapeutic to write this out. I do think that writing or saying our troubles out loud can be really good as it can help us to feel like the problem has less power over us; what do you think? I'm wondering, now that you've written it out, do you have any reflections/new thoughts about the problem that you explained to us?