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I lost one of the most important people in my life....


Firefly 23
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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness

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About a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me because she apparently couldn't handle my mental illness anymore...I trusted her with so much and it just hurts to not have her in my life anymore...I feel like I am being overdramatic because it was just a breakup (That was 1 month ago) but it still hurts being apart...She just decided what would be best for me and left! She broke up with me over text too (She couldn't come over but a phone call would have been nice...and now she is just perfectly fine without me! I always see her happily hanging out with her friends and that hurts me deeply! I just feel like I didn't mean ANYTHING to her and that she is so glad that my toxic self isn't by her side anymore...I should get a grip and move the fuck on but I just can't...Why does it still hurt? Why did she abandon me? Why? Was I not good enough? Am I a such a bad person that nobody would ever care about me again? 

(I am also TERRIFIED of being abandoned and having it happen to me makes me even scared..) 

 

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Mental Illness

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8 hours ago, Firefly 23 said:

About a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me because she apparently couldn't handle my mental illness anymore...I trusted her with so much and it just hurts to not have her in my life anymore...I feel like I am being overdramatic because it was just a breakup (That was 1 month ago) but it still hurts being apart...She just decided what would be best for me and left! She broke up with me over text too (She couldn't come over but a phone call would have been nice...and now she is just perfectly fine without me! I always see her happily hanging out with her friends and that hurts me deeply! I just feel like I didn't mean ANYTHING to her and that she is so glad that my toxic self isn't by her side anymore...I should get a grip and move the fuck on but I just can't...Why does it still hurt? Why did she abandon me? Why? Was I not good enough? Am I a such a bad person that nobody would ever care about me again? 

(I am also TERRIFIED of being abandoned and having it happen to me makes me even scared..) 

Hey @Firefly 23 a break up is often a really difficult and sometimes traumatic ting to go through. No matter how long you were with someone a month isn't a very long time and we all need and deserve, time to process our heartbreak and upset. It's completely normal to feel upset, especially when it was unexpected and a shock. Your GF had already thought about it / potentially processed it all but you hadn't. 

Your feelings are real and valid so allow yourself some time. Very few people simply bounce back from heartbreak, it's a journey and part of that is respecting other people's choices to no longer be with us - and that is hard, especially when some or all of their reasoning (your MH) was something you cannot just magically change. Of course, that hurts so this isn't a case of you being overdramatic. The reasoning of 'what's best for you' - I'm guessing this leaves confusing or angry/sad feelings as no one else can decide what is best for us. I wonder if she wasn't able to verbalise her feelings properly so said that (and via text) to make it a little easier on herself.

When we break up with people, it doesn't invalidate any of the relationship or experiences with them - so any happy / loving times you had were real.  Even if we are hurt by relationships breaking down, we do learn such a lot from them and although it isn't clear now, it will be. 

You deserve a great relationship where you feel loved, safe and respected so take some time to process before in thinking of getting involved with someone else. Let me be a voice that reminds you that you are enough and that you are not a bad person.

Sending so many good thoughts your way.

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5 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hey @Firefly 23 a break up is often a really difficult and sometimes traumatic ting to go through. No matter how long you were with someone a month isn't a very long time and we all need and deserve, time to process our heartbreak and upset. It's completely normal to feel upset, especially when it was unexpected and a shock. Your GF had already thought about it / potentially processed it all but you hadn't. 

Your feelings are real and valid so allow yourself some time. Very few people simply bounce back from heartbreak, it's a journey and part of that is respecting other people's choices to no longer be with us - and that is hard, especially when some or all of their reasoning (your MH) was something you cannot just magically change. Of course, that hurts so this isn't a case of you being overdramatic. The reasoning of 'what's best for you' - I'm guessing this leaves confusing or angry/sad feelings as no one else can decide what is best for us. I wonder if she wasn't able to verbalise her feelings properly so said that (and via text) to make it a little easier on herself.

When we break up with people, it doesn't invalidate any of the relationship or experiences with them - so any happy / loving times you had were real.  Even if we are hurt by relationships breaking down, we do learn such a lot from them and although it isn't clear now, it will be. 

You deserve a great relationship where you feel loved, safe and respected so take some time to process before in thinking of getting involved with someone else. Let me be a voice that reminds you that you are enough and that you are not a bad person.

Sending so many good thoughts your way.

Thank you this means a ton

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8 minutes ago, Firefly 23 said:

Thank you this means a ton

I'm glad - we're here for you.

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