Coming out?

[asdfggg]

Well depends on the day.My house is about 20 minutes away from my school so I have a little transportation problem.

Usually,on Mondays,I wake up at 7:20,leave for school at 8:00,finish school at 14:00 and go to a nearby park to study or draw for about one to two hours and then head out to my Chemistry and Physics Lessons from 16:00 to 18:00.After that I usually go to the gym for about an hour and a half,but there are times where I take a Math test instead.Most of the time I head home at around 20:00,and study for a while and sleep at around 1:00.

Tuesdays I go to school the same time,return home at 14:40,sleep until 15:00,study for about an hour and half,go to my Mathematics Lesson from 19:00 to 21:00,return home and study until I go to bed at roughly 12:30.

Wednesdays,I go to school,then I head out to my Greek-Literature lesson from 14:15 to 15:45,then go to my Physics and Chemistry lesson from 16:00 to 18:00,after that I either go to the gym for one and half hour,or head straight home,sit for a while and try to study until I go to sleep the same time.

Thursdays,I go to school and return home at 14:30,eat and then sleep until 17:00,I wake up chill for a bit and study until I go to my Mathematics lesson from 20:00 to 22:00,return then study some more until I go to sleep the same time.

Fridays,I leave for school at 8:00,finish at 14:00,go to the same park to study or draw,go to my Greek-Literature lesson from 16:00 to 18:00,wait for an hour with my friend,go to my Mathematics lesson from 19:00 to 20:00 and from there I go to the gym with my friends from 20:30 to 22:00 and head home,draw for a bit,if I feel like it and go to sleep the same time.

Saturdays are usually my free day,so I just chill,play video games and draw,until I go out with my friends.

Sundays,I chill until 17:00 and then study whatever I can for the week coming until I go to sleep at around 12:30.

The reason I spend so many hours studying,is mainly because,when I am tired,it is kind of difficult for me to concentrate,so I end up procrastinating for a bit,looking at social media and stuff and study at night.I guess it is easier for me to sit a lot of hours and get distracted,than to fully concentrate on something for 2 or 3 hours.

 

[Will]

Omg I would love to be able to draw for an hour but I have 5 SIBLINGS so I never get any time to draw

[Will]

Is it ok if I ask your age? I’m 11 btw and no I’m not looking for a relationship 

[Monsoon]

7 hours ago, asdfggg said:

Well depends on the day.My house is about 20 minutes away from my school so I have a little transportation problem.

Usually,on Mondays,I wake up at 7:20,leave for school at 8:00,finish school at 14:00 and go to a nearby park to study or draw for about one to two hours and then head out to my Chemistry and Physics Lessons from 16:00 to 18:00.After that I usually go to the gym for about an hour and a half,but there are times where I take a Math test instead.Most of the time I head home at around 20:00,and study for a while and sleep at around 1:00.

Tuesdays I go to school the same time,return home at 14:40,sleep until 15:00,study for about an hour and half,go to my Mathematics Lesson from 19:00 to 21:00,return home and study until I go to bed at roughly 12:30.

Wednesdays,I go to school,then I head out to my Greek-Literature lesson from 14:15 to 15:45,then go to my Physics and Chemistry lesson from 16:00 to 18:00,after that I either go to the gym for one and half hour,or head straight home,sit for a while and try to study until I go to sleep the same time.

Thursdays,I go to school and return home at 14:30,eat and then sleep until 17:00,I wake up chill for a bit and study until I go to my Mathematics lesson from 20:00 to 22:00,return then study some more until I go to sleep the same time.

Fridays,I leave for school at 8:00,finish at 14:00,go to the same park to study or draw,go to my Greek-Literature lesson from 16:00 to 18:00,wait for an hour with my friend,go to my Mathematics lesson from 19:00 to 20:00 and from there I go to the gym with my friends from 20:30 to 22:00 and head home,draw for a bit,if I feel like it and go to sleep the same time.

Saturdays are usually my free day,so I just chill,play video games and draw,until I go out with my friends.

Sundays,I chill until 17:00 and then study whatever I can for the week coming until I go to sleep at around 12:30.

The reason I spend so many hours studying,is mainly because,when I am tired,it is kind of difficult for me to concentrate,so I end up procrastinating for a bit,looking at social media and stuff and study at night.I guess it is easier for me to sit a lot of hours and get distracted,than to fully concentrate on something for 2 or 3 hours.

Hey,

It sounds like you have a pretty busy schedule! Are you getting enough sleep? It's just that with working so hard, it's important to make sure you're getting a good amount. 

[asdfggg]

5 hours ago, Will said:

Is it ok if I ask your age? I’m 11 btw and no I’m not looking for a relationship 

Ι am 16,nice to meet you :)

[asdfggg]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

It sounds like you have a pretty busy schedule! Are you getting enough sleep? It's just that with working so hard, it's important to make sure you're getting a good amount. 

I break up my sleep schedule a bit:I sleep about 6 to 6 and a half hours at night,on average.But I make up for it,by sleeping 2 to 3 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays,in the evenings.I know that sleep is important,yet my hands are kind of tied right now.I have followed this schedule from the start of the school year,I cannot change it.The thing is that next year is going to be worse than this one,so I have to learn how to be flexible with my sleep schedule.

[asdfggg]

At least today is a national holiday,so I get to stay in.

[Monsoon]

8 hours ago, asdfggg said:

At least today is a national holiday,so I get to stay in.

Hey,

That does sound tough, but it sounds like you're coping really well with it and you seem pretty motivated to do well in school; I guess my only bit of advice is to make sure you can look after yourself as much as possible, such as doing things you like and resting wherever you can and feel the need to. 

What is the holiday for today? What have you gotten up to? 

[asdfggg]

Today was ''Clean Monday'' and,in Orthodox Christianity,it marks the start of the 50 day fast, up until Eastern.Today it is tradition to  eat moluscs (like squid and octopi) and other things like a traditional bread called ''Lagana'' .There are some pretty delicious recipes prepared for this day!

Today felt kind of lonely,my parents and my brother were working so I didn't celebrate.I didn't do a lot of things,I mainly sat around and slept for the majority of the day.

What about you?

[Monsoon]

Hey,

It sounds like you got some much needed rest though - are you feeling relaxed? 

[asdfggg]

I guess things have been more laid back the past month.I don't have any major exams coming in and everyone is a bit more at ease,until exams start again.Although I still have days were I feel really dysphoric and lost about my gender,usually when I have more free time to think about it.I get a bit lonely thinking that,despite having friends,I haven't shared any of my problems with them.Sometimes I feel a bit alienated when I am around them,trying to calculate how they would react if I told them.At least talking with you helps :)

[Monsoon]

Hey,

It sounds like you've been pretty distracted from your gender a way when you're busy. I'm wondering, have you made any decisions yet about possibly telling others? 

[Randomgirl.]

Ok so I first joined this site last year but haven’t used it in months. But Somethings been on my mind for ages and I can’t figure out if I’m being dramatic or if it’s something I should be hurt by. I told one of my friends (who is great and I love her) that I liked a girl. It felt so great at the time to get it off my chest but now I’m not so sure. I wish I never told her. She’s been supportive and hasn’t ever intentionally said anything hurtful to me about it, but the day I told her, she said something to me that should be supportive,  but something about it is so off. She said “you’re so lucky your parents will be supportive, mine would kill me!”.  Is this just her way of trying to understand?? Whatever it was, it made me really uncomfortable. And I know what she said is true. Her parents are quite traditional, and probably not homophobic, but not exactly in favour of it.

[asdfggg]

Ι don't know,I've thought about telling one of my friends but lately I've felt a bit alienated from them.I can't think of a place and time where I can tell him.I've thought about messaging him,to avoid confrontation,but I don't think messaging is as strong as a face-to-face confession.Also,I think I owe it to him to tell him in person,since we've been friends for a while.But I don't know exactly how.

The thing is that lately my friends are hanging out with other people from their school,which is totally healthy and acceptable,I myself have found other friends too.So we never get to hang out just my close friends,like we used to.We always hang out with other people and end up being a large group,that I don't feel comfortable sharing my feelings with.I know that this is a pretty normal thing in my age and the problem lies with me,not with my friends,but things have been different.It's like everything around me has changed,which probably means that I have changed.I guess that,since we don't hang out as much as we used to,because of our busy schedules,it is normal to fall off a bit,it's how life goes.I've been with this group of friends for all my childhood and teenagehood so it feels weird talking less to them.

I am thinking of telling one friend to see his reaction and see how it goes,but because of the above I am reluctant to tell him.Also,I don't know what should I say,or how I should say it,how much should I reveal to him etc...

What do you think?

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

Ok so I first joined this site last year but haven’t used it in months. But Somethings been on my mind for ages and I can’t figure out if I’m being dramatic or if it’s something I should be hurt by. I told one of my friends (who is great and I love her) that I liked a girl. It felt so great at the time to get it off my chest but now I’m not so sure. I wish I never told her. She’s been supportive and hasn’t ever intentionally said anything hurtful to me about it, but the day I told her, she said something to me that should be supportive,  but something about it is so off. She said “you’re so lucky your parents will be supportive, mine would kill me!”.  Is this just her way of trying to understand?? Whatever it was, it made me really uncomfortable. And I know what she said is true. Her parents are quite traditional, and probably not homophobic, but not exactly in favour of it.

Hey @Randomgirl.

Thank you for sharing this and welcome to our community. I'm wondering, what do you think it is that's off about what she said? Where do you think that feeling of discomfort comes from?

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, asdfggg said:

Ι don't know,I've thought about telling one of my friends but lately I've felt a bit alienated from them.I can't think of a place and time where I can tell him.I've thought about messaging him,to avoid confrontation,but I don't think messaging is as strong as a face-to-face confession.Also,I think I owe it to him to tell him in person,since we've been friends for a while.But I don't know exactly how.

The thing is that lately my friends are hanging out with other people from their school,which is totally healthy and acceptable,I myself have found other friends too.So we never get to hang out just my close friends,like we used to.We always hang out with other people and end up being a large group,that I don't feel comfortable sharing my feelings with.I know that this is a pretty normal thing in my age and the problem lies with me,not with my friends,but things have been different.It's like everything around me has changed,which probably means that I have changed.I guess that,since we don't hang out as much as we used to,because of our busy schedules,it is normal to fall off a bit,it's how life goes.I've been with this group of friends for all my childhood and teenagehood so it feels weird talking less to them.

I am thinking of telling one friend to see his reaction and see how it goes,but because of the above I am reluctant to tell him.Also,I don't know what should I say,or how I should say it,how much should I reveal to him etc...

What do you think?

Hey there,

I think it's tricky to plan the details of how to tell someone in the sense of how or what you will say; my best advice would be to just go with the flow and be in the moment - say what you feel comfortable with, because you don't know what kinds of feelings may come up in the moment. What do you think? 

[asdfggg]

Ι don't know,as I said I am almost never alone with this person and I can't find the right moment to talk to him.

[Monsoon]

10 hours ago, asdfggg said:

Ι don't know,as I said I am almost never alone with this person and I can't find the right moment to talk to him.

It sounds like you might have to make time to be alone with them. Could you arrange to meet with them alone?

[asdfggg]

Maybe,but still I am not sure if I want to tell him.

[Monsoon]

Hey,

That's okay; take some time to think it through - there's no rush really, is there? :) 

[asdfggg]

Νοt really,but still,sometimes I have doubts that I even have symptoms of gender dysphoria,which makes me really confused,so I don't know if I should talk to people,since I am not certain about it.

[Randomgirl.]

On 3/12/2022 at 10:27 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey @Randomgirl.

Thank you for sharing this and welcome to our community. I'm wondering, what do you think it is that's off about what she said? Where do you think that feeling of discomfort comes from?

I think it’s the fact that she said her parents would kill her, implying that it’s something they would perceive as wrong?

[Monsoon]

5 hours ago, asdfggg said:

Νοt really,but still,sometimes I have doubts that I even have symptoms of gender dysphoria,which makes me really confused,so I don't know if I should talk to people,since I am not certain about it.

 

Hey,

I think that a lot of people feel like they can only talk to people when they are certain of their identity, so when they're coming out. However, I think there is a lot of positive in opening up to people about when you're unsure/confused as it can help you to process and have clarity. What do you think?

 

[Monsoon]

7 minutes ago, Randomgirl. said:

I think it’s the fact that she said her parents would kill her, implying that it’s something they would perceive as wrong?

Hey,

Okay, so the discomfort is around how her parents feel, thinking that it's wrong; is that right? How do you think your parents would react?

[asdfggg]

Ηi,sorry I haven't answered in a while

So,I decided to tell my friend about the dysphoria yesterday and I did it.Luckily he was really supportive and told me that I can trust him.We have been friends for a while,so I was really happy and relieved that he accepted me,although I only mentioned very little information,but after a while,when I was alone,I felt really anxious,so much so that it triggered my fight or flight response and I couldn't sleep at all.I wanted to ask you if this response is common,shouldn't I feel more relieved?Also where do I go from here?I told him that I would give him a better explanation,since I gave him minimal information,but I don't know how much information I should reveal to him.

What do you think?