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What do I do?


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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Sex

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So, hey people. im a girl.  im 14 and im bi. i dont really know how to tell my parents because they dont support. but i have a boyfriend, who my parents dont know im dating but they know we are friends but he acted like he was mad at me. he didnt talk to me at all. but this week, he was all fine. but i think he's cheating on me again, but i really really like him. when we first dated, he asked me if i would have sex with him and i said after my stomach surgery healed, yeah. but then he went and told my bestfriend, who he was cheating on me with, that i was too clingy. what should i do?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Thank you for telling me about how things are with your boyfriend at the moment. I’m sorry to hear that he cheated on you - how are you feeling about that at the moment? I wanted to check in because it can be hard to move on from something like that, and it can really leave a lasting impact. I hope you’re as okay as you can be. From what you’ve said, it sounds like he’s treating you pretty poorly at the moment. Have you tried speaking to him about what’s going on?  
 

Also, I saw that you mentioned having sex with him when your surgery has healed, but I just want to check, do you actually want to? It’s completely okay to say no if you aren’t ready. Speak soon.

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Monsoon dude, I haven't tried speaking with him because I'm scared of him getting mad and breaking up with me. And as for the sex situation, yeah. I think I'm ready and I'm kind of curious about everything right now though.

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Hey @Monsoon

My friend Allison, the person he cheated on me with the first time, said that he told her that she is cute and wants to get back with her but she said no cuz she has a boyfriend. Then he told her that they are getting back together in a week. And I do really like him. Nothing has changed except the first time we dated he said he loved me and we hugged and walked home together, but nw he doesn't say he loves me and we don't hug anymore and i always have to walk home alone cuz he is always walking home with his friends or another girl.

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Today, I told my boyfriend that i was gonna kiss him when we walked home together. And he immediately said, "I can walk with you today." Is it bad that he said that right after I told him I would kiss him for the first time?

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  • Digital Mentor
3 hours ago, Music_Geek_23 said:

Today, I told my boyfriend that i was gonna kiss him when we walked home together. And he immediately said, "I can walk with you today." Is it bad that he said that right after I told him I would kiss him for the first time?

Hey @Music_Geek_23

How are you feeling today? I hope you're as okay as you can be, but it's okay to open up when you're not feeling great. Just to make sure that I understand, your boyfriend told her that they are getting back together in a week? I'm sorry to hear that he did this with your friend as well. I can imagine that this really hurt your feelings, having your trust broken by both of them. It's interesting that you asked if it's bad that he said he would walk with you after said you would kiss him for the first time. I'm wondering, what do you think it means that he did that?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Yeah, from what you've said, I also thought the same. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and is with you for you, not just to get some action. How are you feeling about it today? Are you still thinking of breaking up with him? 

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Yeah. I'm still thinking about braking up with him. I do have a question though. Yesterday he asked to see a pic of me,  so I sent him a pic of me stretching, then he just said thanks. Do you have any idea why he would have asked for the picture?

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I'm not paying attention to him anymore. i'm just ignoring him. But it's really hard to ignore someone when that someone sits right behind you in every class you have. And it's hard to ignore him when my friend sits next to me in soical studies and the are good friends and so he sits at the end of his table so that he can lean over us and talk to our friend but he reads my emails with my friends.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Yeah, I totally get what you're saying about how it's hard to ignore someone who is so physically close to you. How are you feeling after the breakup? Also, how is he able to read your emails? Does he have your password? 

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Hey,

I'm glad to hear that you feel fine. From all the things you said, it sounded like he wasn't treating you very well and that he was maybe just wanting sex. It seems like you wanted more from the relationship, and that you were maybe on different pages. What do you think?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

I'm glad to hear that you're fine. It's interesting that you kind of like him again even after what's happened. If it's not too private, can I ask, what kind of feelings are you having towards him? 

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I want to get back with him. I just want someone who will hold me when I'm sad or kiss me when I want to be kissed. And he did those both one time, and I want that again. I miss being with him. I miss him.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

I totally get all of those feelings. It's completely normal to want someone back when they break up with you, but I'm wondering, how do you think you might feel in a few months time once you've had some time to process these feelings?

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I bet in a few months, I will still feel the same way. Him and I were friends for 2 years before we started dating. I liked him a lot during those two years and now I like him even more. I bet in a few months I will like him more than I like him now, if that's possible.

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Hey there,

How are you today? I know it might seem like it now, but it takes time for these feelings to fade. I know you still like him at the moment, but once some time has passed, you might see it differently and think that it happened for a reason. What do you think? 

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