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Hi, first time on here


ElijahB
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Hi, I'm gay, and I am sort of in a strange predicament. 

I really, really love my parents, and they absolutely love me back, but the thing is, they don't agree with homosexuality. I want to be able to tell them that I'm gay, but the thing is, is that I'm more worried about the fact that I'll be hurting them, and making them feel like they've failed as parents to me, (Even though they most definitely have not).  And to top it off, my mom has a degree in psychology, and would take my coming out not as, "Hey, mom and dad, I'm gay," but as "Hey, mom and dad, I have been feeling attracted to other boys, and I need help to fix it."  She would see it like a therapist would see someone coming into their office, and try to diagnose it.

I've toyed with the idea of just not coming out, and only dating in college when I have a bit more freedom, but then the thought of not being able to invite them to my wedding if I get married, and then their disappointment in me...

Long story short, I have literally no idea what to do.

 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @ElijahB

Welcome to our community 🙂

I can totally see why you have no idea what to do,  and you're definitely not alone in feeling like you're in a predicament when it comes to this kind of thing. I'm wondering, what have they said and done to show you that they don't agree with homosexuality in the past? I guess I'm asking to get an idea of how strong their views are. Speak soon. 

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Basically, if it is in the Bible, then that is how they feel about it. And even the New Testament is pretty clear on homosexuality. As I'm thinking about it, I know that they would never hate me, so that's a situation better than a lot of people out there, and in reality, the main issue I have is fear of conflict. Like I do everything I can to avoid confrontation about anything. They would definitely continue to love  me, but they would never support this area of my life, I mean they would probably be very kind to any boyfriend I bring home, but they wouldn't truly accept our relationship as right and normal. 

So all in all, they take the stance that a lot of Christians take: "Hate the sin, love the sinner."

And thank you for responding @Monsoon! I don't really ever get to talk about this part of my life with anyone that much, and it's been really great to finally get to. I am so thankful that I found this place!

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Hey @ElijahB

How are you doing today? I'm glad to hear that they would probably be very kind to a boyfriend if you brought them home. I'm wondering, do you think they could ever get to a place where they do accept a relationship when it comes to it? I think that love is such a strong feeling and it can open up even the most stubborn minds. I guess my takeaway point is that people can surprise you, and that the love a parent has for their child can be a strong force for growing acceptance. 

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