I don't really know why but I've been feeling alone and depressed lately. It's not like I'm alone alone but it feels like I am (idk if that makes any sense or not) I talk to people all the time but I don't really want to talk to them if you know what I mean. I have anxiety and a bit of depression but I feel like my depression is getting worse. My "friends" always talk about their problems and I help them by giving them advice but they don't know how much i wish they just didn't talk about their metal health or relationship problems.
Recently I've been talking to this person but I don't know a lot about them, I've been getting to know them and they seem really nice. However, I don't know if I should tell them about my past when I was younger or if I should keep it to myself. The problem is that I have mental health issues because of what happened to me when I was younger but not a lot of people know that but I want the person to know that about me so they get to know me a little better.
I feel like I need to talk to someone who's actually gone through similar stuff. I don't feel like talking to my family, partner, friends or psychiatrist is helping. I feel like I'm falling apart even though I'm doing everything people told me to do that would help. I tried talking to the people in my life, I opened up to my partner I was taking my medication but the medicine just made me feel like a zombie, the people around me just couldn't understand what I was going through and why I wasn't getting better after so much time has passed. I'm not gonna write down my whole lifes story because that would take way too long. Only what's necessary to understand me.
Been passed between parents my whole life
Suffered from depression, anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia since childhood
Self-harm stopped for a few years now struggling to stop again
I've been suicidal half my life (currently in my twenties)
Started taking xanax and anti-depressants tis year
Partner with narcissistic personality disorder
I'm on a self-destructive path and I don't know how to stop. I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into a big black hole and know one knows or wants to pull me out from it. The only time I feel anything and feel free is when I drink and xanax and alcohol isn't a good mixture. A lot of times I have blackouts. I feel like I should be locked up in a mental hospital but everzone around me denise it. I also don't want to dissapoint the people around me. I also don't want people knowing these stuff about me. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I've been self harming for 4 years now and don't know how to cope with it, people say that if you keep silent about how you feel it can be bad on your mental health, well i have kept silent and I feel depressed and i have panic attacks now and again. Sometimes i feel suicidal too. I just want someone to help me and give me some good advice on how i can cope with this.
I am feeling depressed every day. I am having self harm urges. My mom found out about my self harm. Last month she took away the tools I used to self harm with. Last night I was crying for hours and I cried myself to sleep. I feel hopeless.
How can I cope with depression and self harm urges?
By Little currant
Hi there well uhmm all my life ive always been spotted out as the ugly child ugly duckling etc from people around me been compared alot with my friends been told countless times how ugly i was had a time in highschool when the teacher asked girls to state their preferences in boys vice versa and the boys list was all about me from my dark lips to my scars along with other things then as i grew older guys would hit on me and id tell some people about it and it would always be impossible or im lieing like they meant to say it couldnt be me like im ugly why would they then my bestfriend went on to say that i was really ugly in highschool and thats why my boyfriend by then cheated on me not that matters anymore but my recent boyfriends shared a meme about how gurls look ugly without makeup and at that point it was the day i decided not to wear makeup and hangout with them (i hope i dont come off as self centered or everything is always about me) but that was what it was so recently after uni when i had been exposed to wearing makeup using filters my social media photos attracted some attention i wasnt considered ugly anymore but see i dont wear alot of makeup because i dont even look good with it when its too much and i dont photoshop or facetune my pictures because no judgment here but that would be sort of like catfishing if I changed my appearance so much so i try to keep it as original as possible but owell my brother straight up used me as an example of if u saw her picture s and met her in person shes much uglier than her photos i know i know i shouldnt be moved by peoples words or opinions but i dont know why im moved why all these thoughts come back to me why im hurt like why am i like this i feel worthless like i want to love myself i really want to but its soo hard when i dont seem to do nothing right my appearance doesnt save me like i feel like i have nothing to offer to the world and worthless…..no one understands i dont want to look like its all self pity or doubt but i cant deal with it anymore its eating me up …