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Coming out as genderfluid


umi
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Hey everyone! I'm new here, don't know how it works, but i'm gonna give it a try.

Im genderfluid, AFAB (assigned female at birth), and my pronouns change. I want to come out to my cisgender straight boyfriend, who doesn't know much about genders and pronouns, He was supportive when i came out as bisexual, but i'm not sure if he will be okay with this and i don't know how to tell him. My lgbt friend told me to not rush it and take my time, but sometimes i feel more enby or even masculine, and everytime he uses she/her pronouns i feel like trowing up (in my native language, we don't have neutral pronouns and use feminine and masculine for almost every word).

I don't know what to do, if anyone has  any advice, I'm all ears.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @mar_k

Welcome to our community. I'm glad to hear that your boyfriend was supportive when you came out as bisexual. I think that it can sometimes be difficult for partners to accept their significant other coming out with their sexuality, but the fact that he was so supportive leads me to believe that he may also welcome the news about your gender. What do you reckon? Before I give you more advice, can I check, do you feel ready to come out? Just remember that it's totally okay to wait if you don't.  

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Hey! Thank you so much for answering.

I actually, sort of came out to him today. I didn't get to the part where i explain pronouns and how to use them and genderfluidness itself, but i told him i'm non-binary, and it didn't go badly, but it didn't go well either. He comes from a very conservative family, a very conserative country and a very conservative mindset, so he sees these stuff in an homophobic and transphobic way. He doesn't want to be any of that, but he ends up having certain points of view in some subjects that are not the right ones to have. I'll proceed the conversation with him, slowly to try to make him understand.

Answering your question, I kind of feel the need of coming out, not ina bad way i guess, it just sort of hurts me when people misgender me.

Thank you for your time ^^

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @mar_k

It's good to hear from you again. 

I'm glad to hear that you told him you're non-binary. How are you feeling after telling him? I'm wondering, can you tell me a little bit more about what happened when you told him your news? 

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Hey!

hmm i guess he didn't really care becuase he doesn't "believe" in this stuff, nor has any sort of knowladge about it, and, as many people, he doesn't want to know the "right" way of thinking, because he only accepts his way of thinking.  It will be very hard to get him to listen and remotely accept this, but i guess it's going to be a long process, in which i'll have to be very patiente.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey Mar_k,

How are you doing today? I'm sorry to hear that he said he doesn't believe in what you told him about. How did it make you feel hearing that from him? I'm wondering, do you think he might believe in it, but maybe reacted like that out of shock because of what you just told him? As you said, it will take a long time with lots of patience before you hopefully get to a better place with it. Are you hoping to speak to him about this again soon?

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