Kay_shiv Posted September 5, 2021 Author Share Posted September 5, 2021 (edited) .I don't think he will ever become more accepting. My mom might accept me after some time but my father will definitely not be accepting ever. Edited September 5, 2021 by Kay_shiv MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 Hey @Kay_shiv How are you feeling today? I'm glad to hear that your mom might accept you after some time. Can I ask, how come you think your father will definitely never be accepting? I'm just curious because I've supported some people in a similar situation to you, and they thought the same at first until things changed after some time. From that, I learnt that people can be surprising and can sometimes do something you think they were never capable of. Speak soon. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 My father is a very religious old Indian man who hates change of any kind. Any time there is a conversation about marriage and I say something like I won't get married, that's usually where the conversation ends. He just chooses to ignore what I said and leaves. What do you think he would do in this situation. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 Hello @Kay_shiv How are you doing today? Thank you for telling me more about your father's character. I think that it's hard for me to answer accurately as to what your father would do in this situation because I don't know him. I think that the love a parent has for their child is so powerful and can change even the most stubborn of minds. Yes, it can take a long time, but it is possible. I know it's hard to trust the process and think more positively about it, but it can happen. What do you think about this? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 I think you are right. I can't tell how my father would react also. And the fact that all the possible outcomes I can think of are negative is really scary to me. Maybe I should wait to finish my education. Would that be a good idea MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 8, 2021 Share Posted September 8, 2021 Hey, Yeah, it's so hard to predict how someone will react. I think that for anyone who feels like coming out might put them in danger, it's best to wait until you can live alone or stay with someone else. What do you think is best? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted September 9, 2021 Author Share Posted September 9, 2021 In that case I should wait MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 Hey @Kay_shiv How are you doing today? Yeah, I think it's also a good idea to wait. How does that decision make you feel? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted September 11, 2021 Author Share Posted September 11, 2021 Restless and wrong. I don't know why though MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 Hey, How are you doing today? Yeah, I'm curious to know why you feel it is wrong. Do you mean in the sense of wanting to come out but feeling like you have to wait? Also, how is it going with your psychologist? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 I went to the psychologist for a different reason then. Now that it is solved i don't see her anymore, I keep in touch though. I feel it's wrong because it feels like I'm lying to me and to people who care of me. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted September 13, 2021 Share Posted September 13, 2021 Hey @Kay_shiv Yeah, I totally get what you're saying about it feeling wrong. Deep down, we all just want to be able to live authentically, and when we are prevented from doing that to an extent, it can be quite an emotional experience. What do you think about that? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 Hey, sorry about the delay. You are totally right. In the last month I managed to tell my mom... Sort of. But she did not believe me. And i feel really stressed. I have not been able to study at all in the past month and it is very important that i do. I don't know what to do now. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that she did not believe you. I'm wondering, how exactly did it go when you told her? Also, I'm curious to know what you mean when you said you 'sort of' told her, so it would be good if you could tell me a little more about that. How are you feeling today? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted October 22, 2021 Author Share Posted October 22, 2021 I don't remember how the conversation started . I think we started talking about movies and the conversation somehow drifted to the topic of clothing. I dont wear dresses, I don't even own one. And she said are you gay in a rhetorical way, and I said yes. Then she asked me a few uncomfortable questions and came to a conclusion herself that I was not serious about it even after I said I was not joking. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 Hey there, Thank you for telling me more about how it went with telling her. It sounds like she is in denial about what you said which does happen to some parents, but then there's also that element of just thinking that your child is going through a phase and trying to jump on a bandwagon. I'm wondering, do you think it could be good to write her a letter that she can read alone to show her how serious you are? What do you think? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay_shiv Posted October 22, 2021 Author Share Posted October 22, 2021 Writing a letter sounds like a good idea. But I am trying to get into an MBA right now and I need their support. So maybe I will stay away from this topic for a while. It feels like I'm conning them into helping me, but I don't know what else to do. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lillyx Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 welcome MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 17 hours ago, Kay_shiv said: Writing a letter sounds like a good idea. But I am trying to get into an MBA right now and I need their support. So maybe I will stay away from this topic for a while. It feels like I'm conning them into helping me, but I don't know what else to do. Hey there, I'm curious to know, how come you feel like you're conning them into helping you? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifie Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 Hey, I'm going through the same thing as you. I'm a non-binary lesbian and I grew up in a third world country. What I did was I slowly started saying gayer things and commenting more on how hot other girls were. My mom kinda just asked me then kicked me out so do make sure you have a place to go but ya know if they can't accept it that's their problem MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XSnowX Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 Hey lovely, thank you with all kindness for telling us about your story, I am sorry for the way things are right now, keep reaching out as we care about your mental and emotional wellbeing is very important to us here at Ditch the Label ❤ I got mixed emotions from my mother when I came out as Trans ( FTM ), she judged me for it and wanted to kick me out as the house is religious and me coming out as gay is apparently wrong on her side of things, when it's not. Taking baby steps on telling her is all you can do, sorry to hear your dad is scared to announce to, if you some what did tell your mum, Just to be cautious, have you got somewhere to live if things went wrong? Big hugs Jess ❤ MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 1 hour ago, fifie said: Hey, I'm going through the same thing as you. I'm a non-binary lesbian and I grew up in a third world country. What I did was I slowly started saying gayer things and commenting more on how hot other girls were. My mom kinda just asked me then kicked me out so do make sure you have a place to go but ya know if they can't accept it that's their problem Hey @fifie Welcome to our community and thank you for sharing your tip. I just want to check, are you safe at the moment? I'm concerned after what you said about being kicked out, and I want to know, where are you living at the moment? Are you safe? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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