So confused help me

[Randomgirl.]

I’ve never used this site before, so apologies if I’m doing this wrong lol. I’m really questioning my sexuality right now, and I have been seriously for a few months. I had wondered if I might be gay before, but only really because I hadn’t been able to connect with a male, and honestly just had found them kind of repulsive (no offence!). But I met this girl and I knew straight away that she was cool and I wanted to be friends with her. After seeing her a few times again it quickly turned into a fully obsessive crush. She’s amazing and I was so confused and scared at first, but now after doing a lot of thinking, I’m almost sure I’m not straight, and I don’t dislike the idea. But I still have a lot of problems to consider, like the fact she most likely doesn’t see me that way.

[Blondie]

Hey @Randomgirl. and welcome! No apologies needed  

Firstly, it's completely usual and healthy to question our sexuality - for some people they always know and it doesn't waver, but for so many others it can be a pretty fluid or evolving part of our lives. Don't rush it - and do exactly what you are already doing - allowing yourself to be open to who you might be attracted to.

Crushes for everyone can be pretty overwhelming and consuming for all sorts of reasons, whether they end up being romantic, sexual or the feeling isn't returned. But even so we learn a lot about ourselves through them and will usually look back and see them as pretty pivotal parts of our lives. Sometimes it can turn out that the crush is more connected to finally understanding your sexuality rather than the actual person (although I'm sure she's awesome!)

Take your time getting to know this other girl - you could potentially drop in the convo questions that might give you an indication.

How did you meet her and how often do you get to hang out? 

[Randomgirl.]

2 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hey @Randomgirl. and welcome! No apologies needed  

Firstly, it's completely usual and healthy to question our sexuality - for some people they always know and it doesn't waver, but for so many others it can be a pretty fluid or evolving part of our lives. Don't rush it - and do exactly what you are already doing - allowing yourself to be open to who you might be attracted to.

Crushes for everyone can be pretty overwhelming and consuming for all sorts of reasons, whether they end up being romantic, sexual or the feeling isn't returned. But even so we learn a lot about ourselves through them and will usually look back and see them as pretty pivotal parts of our lives. Sometimes it can turn out that the crush is more connected to finally understanding your sexuality rather than the actual person (although I'm sure she's awesome!)

Take your time getting to know this other girl - you could potentially drop in the convo questions that might give you an indication.

How did you meet her and how often do you get to hang out? 

Thank you so much this is already so helpful! I only met her in the last few months. We play camogie together (that’s an Irish sport idk where your from u might not have heard of it -look it up if u have a chance!). I see her about twice a week and when we’re together we get on really well. I feel so different around her. Like I’m genuinely happy. No other emotions like stress anxiety, just happy. ( also kinda nervous lol) I would love to become even better friends with her and maybe meet outside of training but I wudnt even know how, or if she would want that. 

[Blondie]

19 minutes ago, Randomgirl. said:

Thank you so much this is already so helpful! I only met her in the last few months. We play camogie together (that’s an Irish sport idk where your from u might not have heard of it -look it up if u have a chance!). I see her about twice a week and when we’re together we get on really well. I feel so different around her. Like I’m genuinely happy. No other emotions like stress anxiety, just happy. ( also kinda nervous lol) I would love to become even better friends with her and maybe meet outside of training but I wudnt even know how, or if she would want that. 

Okay - firstly I've looked up Camogie and it's all sorts of amazing! 

It feels like you've know her long enough to try just casually dropping in a "do ya fancy hanging out sometime" type thing to see how she reacts. It would be good to get to know her a little better anyway as you say. You'd have a better chance of finding out more about her rather than just at camogie. Have an idea or two ready of where you could go in case she says yes so it'll be a bit smoother.

When are you next due to see her? 

[Randomgirl.]

17 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Okay - firstly I've looked up Camogie and it's all sorts of amazing! 

It feels like you've know her long enough to try just casually dropping in a "do ya fancy hanging out sometime" type thing to see how she reacts. It would be good to get to know her a little better anyway as you say. You'd have a better chance of finding out more about her rather than just at camogie. Have an idea or two ready of where you could go in case she says yes so it'll be a bit smoother.

When are you next due to see her? 

That’s a great idea! Thanks  I’m going on holidays for a few nights so I won’t be seeing her until next Friday  

[Blondie]

4 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

That’s a great idea! Thanks  I’m going on holidays for a few nights so I won’t be seeing her until next Friday  

I know that must feel like forever but at least it gives you a little time to work up to it. And hopefully the holiday will be fun - are you doing anything exciting? 

[Randomgirl.]

10 hours ago, Blondie said:

I know that must feel like forever but at least it gives you a little time to work up to it. And hopefully the holiday will be fun - are you doing anything exciting? 

Yes! I’m going camping with my cousins. I’m really looking forward to it, just miss her already

[Blondie]

3 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

Yes! I’m going camping with my cousins. I’m really looking forward to it, just miss her already

Oh fun!  

[Randomgirl.]

42 minutes ago, Blondie said:

Oh fun!  

Thanks so much for the advice!

[Blondie]

2 minutes ago, Randomgirl. said:

Thanks so much for the advice!

We're always here for you! Let us know how you get on.   

[Alliexo]

On 8/14/2021 at 10:21 AM, Randomgirl. said:

I’ve never used this site before, so apologies if I’m doing this wrong lol. I’m really questioning my sexuality right now, and I have been seriously for a few months. I had wondered if I might be gay before, but only really because I hadn’t been able to connect with a male, and honestly just had found them kind of repulsive (no offence!). But I met this girl and I knew straight away that she was cool and I wanted to be friends with her. After seeing her a few times again it quickly turned into a fully obsessive crush. She’s amazing and I was so confused and scared at first, but now after doing a lot of thinking, I’m almost sure I’m not straight, and I don’t dislike the idea. But I still have a lot of problems to consider, like the fact she most likely doesn’t see me that way.

Wow you just said everything I’m feeling! Your not alone.

[Randomgirl.]

On 8/27/2021 at 11:42 AM, Alliexo said:

Wow you just said everything I’m feeling! Your not alone.

You don’t know how happy I am to know someone else is in the same boat as I am