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hello..

So, even if I'll ever fully pass and can walk into the males bathroom and when people see me as a guy I will still never be one.. I wasn't born a guy I was born a freaking girl, a girl?! How in the world did I get so unlucky. I am short, I am small in every single way, my voice getts high randomly, I have boobs.. Which boobs aren't even the worst part, I don't mind being a guy with boobs. But just.. a lot of strangers call me he/him and a boy without even knowing me and I like it and it feels right, but my family/friends when they hear it look at me funny and afterwards ask me how I am okay with that and then say "dont worry you don't look like a boy" or "that must be real shitty" they know I am not a guy, they know I will never be. I try my best okay but I just hate crying every night because I am just so so confused. My body isn't what it should be and my mind is just a mess. Idk what I am or who I want to be. Cya

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Hey @justarden

Welcome to our community. It sounds like you're really struggling with this at the moment and I can see how hard it is from what you've said, and I can really sense the confusion and stress. I just want you to know that it's okay to not know who you are or who you want to be. It takes time to figure out who we are, and I know it might not seem like it now, but it will get better. How have you been coping with these difficult feelings? They sound really tough, but you seem to be getting through them in the best way that you can which is positive. I hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

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4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @justarden

Welcome to our community. It sounds like you're really struggling with this at the moment and I can see how hard it is from what you've said, and I can really sense the confusion and stress. I just want you to know that it's okay to not know who you are or who you want to be. It takes time to figure out who we are, and I know it might not seem like it now, but it will get better. How have you been coping with these difficult feelings? They sound really tough, but you seem to be getting through them in the best way that you can which is positive. I hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

Hello Monsoon

I guess it does take time which I have but the not knowing just sucks, I like to know "everything" yk. Well coping, I more just try to ignore it and not think about it. And I guess it already helps a lot that one of my friend knows that I'm doubting, she doesn't know it all but it's nice that she uses my name Arden and that she'll support me no matter what. Idk if they're difficult feelings though, I've always felt this way and thought it was just puberty and insecurity and that every "girl" felt this way. Thanks for responding to my topic? idk what it's but thank you. You take care too ofcourse!

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Hey @JustArden

Yeah, I totally get why you like to know everything, and there are many people who are also the same. I think that when we do seek to understand everything, it can bring on a lot of anxiety, and there is often sense of relief and calm in accepting the unknown and trusting that it will become clear one day - what do you think? I wonder, what do you think could help you to understand who you are?

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4 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @JustArden

Yeah, I totally get why you like to know everything, and there are many people who are also the same. I think that when we do seek to understand everything, it can bring on a lot of anxiety, and there is often sense of relief and calm in accepting the unknown and trusting that it will become clear one day - what do you think? I wonder, what do you think could help you to understand who you are?

hello!

 

what do I think? good question. Idk someone just telling me what and who I am. Idk it's just very hard and if only we could just get a random notification on our phone telling us "hey you're a boy, sorry that you were put in the wrong body but hey! here are some things you could do that help, byeee" idk- 

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Hey,

How are you today? Yeah, it would be ideal to get that kind of notification, wouldn't it? I guess I'm wondering if there's something you could do to help understand your identity more, like trying different styles and ways of dressing? 

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

How are you today? Yeah, it would be ideal to get that kind of notification, wouldn't it? I guess I'm wondering if there's something you could do to help understand your identity more, like trying different styles and ways of dressing? 

Goodmorning,

I'm doing alr, idk. How have you been? It really would yeah haha. Idk how I ever could tbh, I dress in masc clothes since I was able to choose my own, I tried wearing dresses but I just don't feel very comftrable in them, I mean my style is mostly just oversized everything lol. Yeah what else to try. Absolutly no idea, I already have short hair I used to have it reach the bottom of my back weird to think that now. Binding isn't much change either, I am flat with a sports bra already. I have no idea how to figure it out. Maybe a huge part of my problem lays in self acceptance, I've never liked *me* well, have a nice day Monsoon!

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Hey @JustArden Hope you don't mind me jumping in - I'm Blondie, one of the support mentors. 🙂 

Self-acceptance really is key but of course that doesn't automatically make it easy (I wish it did)! I know it can feel a bit cliche to write down but what are the things you really like about yourself? Literally could be anything from the colour of your eyes to how great you are at being a good listener to art skills. We are all pretty much guilty of happily listing the things we dislike about ourselves that we rarely give any thought to the masses of good stuff.

Can you give me 4-6 things that you actively like about yourself? 

 

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8 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hey @JustArden Hope you don't mind me jumping in - I'm Blondie, one of the support mentors. 🙂 

Self-acceptance really is key but of course that doesn't automatically make it easy (I wish it did)! I know it can feel a bit cliche to write down but what are the things you really like about yourself? Literally could be anything from the colour of your eyes to how great you are at being a good listener to art skills. We are all pretty much guilty of happily listing the things we dislike about ourselves that we rarely give any thought to the masses of good stuff.

Can you give me 4-6 things that you actively like about yourself? 

Hello Blondie,

Can I? that's very hard but uh, I like my freckles. I like that i'm creative, two more.. That I can sink into a book fast? I can't think of a 4th one tbh. But those are 3?

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12 hours ago, JustArden said:

Hello Blondie,

Can I? that's very hard but uh, I like my freckles. I like that i'm creative, two more.. That I can sink into a book fast? I can't think of a 4th one tbh. But those are 3?

That's an awesome start! It honestly takes practice (and patience!) SO with you on the books - genuinely love being immersed into a good book. What are your favourite types of books or authors? 

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22 hours ago, Blondie said:

That's an awesome start! It honestly takes practice (and patience!) SO with you on the books - genuinely love being immersed into a good book. What are your favourite types of books or authors? 

alright! And my fav types of books are fantasy/contemporary with like 600 pages? Authors probably Patrick rothfuss, Rainbow rowell, Adam silvera and Marlies Slegers probably, A whole list lol

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23 minutes ago, JustArden said:

alright! And my fav types of books are fantasy/contemporary with like 600 pages? Authors probably Patrick rothfuss, Rainbow rowell, Adam silvera and Marlies Slegers probably, A whole list lol

ooooh nice! You can really get lost in those books! Once I find an author or genre I really like I get almost on a mission of having to read ALL of their stuff and ALL of the books in a series.

And then if you find someone who loves the same book or series ------ bliss!

Happy Episode 1 GIF by Portlandia

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14 hours ago, Blondie said:

ooooh nice! You can really get lost in those books! Once I find an author or genre I really like I get almost on a mission of having to read ALL of their stuff and ALL of the books in a series.

And then if you find someone who loves the same book or series ------ bliss!

Happy Episode 1 GIF by Portlandia

Yes!! I'm on a Adam Silvera mission, I already read all Patricks books (which are only 2 novels and a side story yet) Never found someone who loves the same books as me tbh, my friends dont come close to how much I read. What are your absolute fav books/authors??

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15 hours ago, JustArden said:

Yes!! I'm on a Adam Silvera mission, I already read all Patricks books (which are only 2 novels and a side story yet) Never found someone who loves the same books as me tbh, my friends dont come close to how much I read. What are your absolute fav books/authors??

I really like thrillers like Harlan Coben as you keep changing your mind over who has done what! Thankfully there is an almost never ending supply of similar writers - I get completely lost in the plots! 

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8 hours ago, Blondie said:

I really like thrillers like Harlan Coben as you keep changing your mind over who has done what! Thankfully there is an almost never ending supply of similar writers - I get completely lost in the plots! 

oooh thrillers, playing like you're a detective haha. Never actually gave thrillers a try, I could read it sometime. Yeahh, when there's one there is more. So I found Brandon sanderson and Nicola Yoon. Really awesome to find books you like. 

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13 hours ago, JustArden said:

oooh thrillers, playing like you're a detective haha. Never actually gave thrillers a try, I could read it sometime. Yeahh, when there's one there is more. So I found Brandon sanderson and Nicola Yoon. Really awesome to find books you like. 

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On 8/14/2021 at 11:45 PM, JustArden said:

oooh thrillers, playing like you're a detective haha. Never actually gave thrillers a try, I could read it sometime. Yeahh, when there's one there is more. So I found Brandon sanderson and Nicola Yoon. Really awesome to find books you like. 

I absolutely loooove Brandon Sanderson - what book is your favourite!? I think I may have to read the mistborn books a 2nd time 🤔😁

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