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Wanting to come out to my homophobic dad.


Whats_Sleep
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I am a lesbian, have been for a while. The rest of my immediate family knows, except my dad. I have an older (male to female) sister and she was kinda kicked out. I’m not sure if it’s for a different reason or not but yea. I’m scared that if I tell my dad that I like girls and only girls, he will kick me out or send me somewhere. (I’m below the legal leaving home age) I feel like I should tell him cuz he’s the only one who doesn’t know, it sucks to keep it hidden. 
He thinks everyone should have long hair, even guys, but I have a chronic illness and I get hot easier than most. I was born with the thickest hair in my family and just like short cut hair. My mom was able to talk him into letting me have an undercut but won’t let the rest of my hair go above my shoulders. I really want boy short hair and freely date who I like without fear. What should I do? I could wait till a graduate in like 4ish years but I don’t want to.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Whats_Sleep

Welcome to our community 🙂

How are you doing? I completely get that it sucks to keep it hidden, but I think that if there's a chance that you could be put in danger, like getting kicked out or being harmed, then it's best to wait until you can move out/support yourself. What do you think? Can I just check, is your sister currently safe? How old is she?

Speak soon. 

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Thank you for the concern! I’m doing ok, how are you? I can assure you that my sister is ok and safe, also she is around 21. While my dad has been abuse in the past, there has been only rare occasions that it’s physical. I will be 19 when I graduate and move out for collage and that’s almost 4 years from now. While my mom has had thought of divorcing my dad, we haven’t had that much money at the moment. 
Anyways, how’s your life? Anything fun or new? 

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15 minutes ago, Whats_Sleep said:

Thank you for the concern! I’m doing ok, how are you? I can assure you that my sister is ok and safe, also she is around 21. While my dad has been abuse in the past, there has been only rare occasions that it’s physical. I will be 19 when I graduate and move out for collage and that’s almost 4 years from now. While my mom has had thought of divorcing my dad, we haven’t had that much money at the moment. 
Anyways, how’s your life? Anything fun or new? 

Hey, I completely echo was monsoon says - your safety /security must be a priority. However, of course it's completely natural to want to share all parts of your life with your loved ones and be able to be completely authentic. And trying to stick to other people's expectations is hard. The hair cutting I completely relate to - I had super long and curly hair for years when I was younger and hated it! I was super sporty and it was a real nuisance and always sweaty and tangled!

My dad completely forbid me to get it cut as "girls have long hair" 🙄 When I was 14 I had some money from a part time job so I plucked up the courage to go and get it cut and I had inches of it cut off which was amazing! He was furious of course but did eventually come around to it even if he still would have preferred me to have long hair again. 

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