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SRH
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Hi guys I'm new here , 

I honestly think I'm going insane or im a complete bitch. My current housemate has recently told me that there's a lot of things I say that she finds passive or aggressive. We had a big fight the other day where she started by saying that im passive she then went on to tell me that there is something wrong and she can tell because she lives with me ( nothing was wrong, I had worked every day friday -friday and was tired ) I did tell her this and she kept picking at the issue. I snapped and yelled at her and she yelled at me, long story short we're moving into seperate houses. I'm feeling like I actually am the bitch and I'm the reason for all this happening. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @SRH

Ahh, it sounds like it's all been quite intense - how are you feeling? I hope things are a little better for you after getting it off your chest.

It's interesting that you've said you feel like you're the reason for all of this happening. Can I ask, why is that? 

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I think it's because every time we've spoken the way that my housemate replies sounds quite blameful which makes me think I've just got a terrible personality and it's my fault for the arguments . 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @SRH

Ah, okay. With the the way that things have panned out between you two, do you think that you can resolve it? If so, what do you think needs to change? 

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To be completely honest I don't think it's worth resolving, she said in a heated moment that even before we moved in she didn't think of us as friends and knew we were too different to become good friends. She finds everything I'm saying passive and or aggressive, I've changed how I speak to her so it sounds more friendly but it hasn't changed how she reacts. Does it sound like I'm just giving up and not trying , am I overreacting ? 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

I think that if you're sure that it's not worth resolving, then you have your answer there. It's interesting that you ask if you are overreacting or not. How come you ask? I'm wondering, are you both still emotional about the situation and potentially letting that be a part of the decisions you're making? 

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I think there are still a lot of emotions involved in the decision , I guess im a bit worried to start up the conversation again because I don't want to end up in an argument again . 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

I wonder if it could be good to talk with her again? I think that may be the best way to work through the emotions of the situation. It might continue to simmer inside otherwise, and you might not feel a sense of closure. What do you think? There are ways you can have these kinds of conversations without it turning into an argument. Why don't you have a look at this link? It has loads of tips for how to keep things calm when talking through something like this https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Confrontation

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Thankyou, I appreciate the helpful link and your perspective of your he situation, I'll definitely try and speak to her to resolve the conflict. 😊

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  • Digital Mentor
10 hours ago, SRH said:

Thankyou, I appreciate the helpful link and your perspective of your he situation, I'll definitely try and speak to her to resolve the conflict. 😊

Hey SRH.

No worries 🙂 

Would you like support with anything else at the moment? 

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8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey SRH.

No worries 🙂 

Would you like support with anything else at the moment? 

I'm just feeling a bit exhausted , stressed and uncomfortable in my environment at the moment. If you have any advice that would be great 😅

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @SRH

Yeah, I totally get that. I'm wondering, could you potentially get away for a bit? Maybe you could go and stay with some family or friends to have a break - it sounds like you could really use one. Also, I'm wondering, what things do you like to do to calm your stress?

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I feel calmer when  at the beach, I've been trying to go for walks late afternoon when I get home from work along the river front /beach. I think i may stay with family for a few days hopefully I will feel better after I've had some space 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Aww, those things sound lovely; going to the beach and late afternoon walks along the river front/beach. Both of them will be really good to help your stress levels and getting some time away by staying with you family will be great too. How are you feeling today?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Yeah, it's a shame that you cannot live together, but good that you might still be able to have a friendship. It might be good to have that space from each other by living separately. Some friends just don't do well living together, and that's okay. How are you feeling about everything now? I remember you saying that you were stressed. I hope you're feeling better now. Speak soon. 

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