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Coming out and how parents reacted


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I haven't come out to them yet, but I can only imagine how it's going to go. My Dad only believes in straight and gay, nothing in between, so it will take some explaining for him to understand that I'm bi. And my Mom will prob get insanely uncomfortable but will support me. Have you come out to yours? What was your experience? 

 

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  • Digital Mentor
43 minutes ago, Arithescared said:

Coming out today update soon! 🙂

Good luck! Let us know and remember we're here for you.

 

Gay Pride GIF by WELTFernsehen 

 

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7 hours ago, R achel said:

I’m Bisexual but not sure how I should come out to my mom. I’m afraid of how she’ll react.

Hey @R achel

Welcome to our community :). Ah, I completely get why you're scared and t's totally normal when you're thinking of coming out. Most people feel this, and most of the time, it's fine. Can I ask, what makes you afraid? Also, just remember that if you're not ready to come out, then that's totally okay - this is your journey and you can go as quickly or slowly as you need. 

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2 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @R achel

Welcome to our community :). Ah, I completely get why you're scared and t's totally normal when you're thinking of coming out. Most people feel this, and most of the time, it's fine. Can I ask, what makes you afraid? Also, just remember that if you're not ready to come out, then that's totally okay - this is your journey and you can go as quickly or slowly as you need. 

Well, I’m even more afraid to come out to my Nanan (dads mum) because well, she doesn’t understand us much. She can be racist sometimes and she said me and my sister needed to stop eating so much fat stuff because we were gaining weight. What if she’s Homophobic? What makes me scared to come out to my family is that there’s only one other person I can name who is part of the LGBTQ  community and they aren’t even blood related, they are my step-sister. My step sisters dad, I’m a little concerned about. His eldest daughter was trying out new names at her school. Which is completely ok and I support, but he said this from what I can remember ‘You can’t change your name until your 18 and with the amount of money able to change your name.’ I’m not going to change my name or gender but, I’m still scared as to what he will say. My sister, I don’t think would care but would have a few questions. My mom is the person I’m probably closest to. Im scared to come out to her but a few days ago we had a conversation about would you date a girl if she had big boobs or not. I said I didn’t care as to not sound suspicious. I don’t think she would mind that much but it would take a while for her to process and get into the fact that I like both guys and girls. 

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Hey there,

Yeah, it sounds like your nan does have some tricky views, and I guess that this tends to be more common when someone is older; the views often come down to a lack of education or knowing people from different kinds of groups. Although some people can react badly at first, they usually come around to the idea and just need some time, so it's important to be patient. The love that person has for their child, grandchild, sibling, etc. goes above it all for most people and allows them to become more accepting 🙂. Why don't you read our guide here? It might help you out: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/

How are you feeling about it all? Just remember that it's totally normal to feel nervous and scared, and that most people have a positive experience coming out 🙂 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I haven’t come out to my parents yet, but I have recently come out to a couple of my friends. It kinda sucked tbh, but it felt really good to get off my chest. For context, all of my friends and family are homo/bi/transphobic Christians, so none of the people I’ve come out to have been very supportive. My first friend told me that she would try her best to support me, but she won’t support other people in the lgbtq+ community since “she doesn’t believe in that”. And of course her first reaction was the classic “you don’t like ME, right???” lol. So far she seems like the kind of person that ok with it as long as we don’t have to talk about it. My second friend also told me that she would still be there for me and love me, but she doesn’t support this part of me. Later that night she sent me this long drawn out message with a whole bunch of Bible verses basically threatening me with eternal pain and suffering just for being me. She said that she wasn’t pressuring me, she “just wants to help”. So far she doesn’t know that I’m not a Christian anymore. I sent a long drawn out message back explaining that she was wrong in many different ways and that she wasn’t helping anything, and so far she hasn’t responded. I made sure she knew that I’m not angry with her and that I just want her to understand, but I think I kind of scared her. I hope someday they will understand that there’s really nothing wrong with who I am and that they can’t change me, because these are a couple of my closest friends. I just hope that I won’t have to let go of them for something this petty.

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2 hours ago, Asher said:

I haven’t come out to my parents yet, but I have recently come out to a couple of my friends. It kinda sucked tbh, but it felt really good to get off my chest. For context, all of my friends and family are homo/bi/transphobic Christians, so none of the people I’ve come out to have been very supportive. My first friend told me that she would try her best to support me, but she won’t support other people in the lgbtq+ community since “she doesn’t believe in that”. And of course her first reaction was the classic “you don’t like ME, right???” lol. So far she seems like the kind of person that ok with it as long as we don’t have to talk about it. My second friend also told me that she would still be there for me and love me, but she doesn’t support this part of me. Later that night she sent me this long drawn out message with a whole bunch of Bible verses basically threatening me with eternal pain and suffering just for being me. She said that she wasn’t pressuring me, she “just wants to help”. So far she doesn’t know that I’m not a Christian anymore. I sent a long drawn out message back explaining that she was wrong in many different ways and that she wasn’t helping anything, and so far she hasn’t responded. I made sure she knew that I’m not angry with her and that I just want her to understand, but I think I kind of scared her. I hope someday they will understand that there’s really nothing wrong with who I am and that they can’t change me, because these are a couple of my closest friends. I just hope that I won’t have to let go of them for something this petty.

 

My friends are actually part of the LGBTQ+ themselves! I only have one straight friend 😆. I’m sorry for what your going through. I hope your friends come through eventually. 

Edited by R achel
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On 7/30/2021 at 4:32 PM, R achel said:

I’m Bisexual but not sure how I should come out to my mom. I’m afraid of how she’ll react.

Same but I don't know for sure, I mean its a recent feeling, and it was after talking and getting to know this girl, who was like openly gay, and I feel like I have a crush on her, but I don't know I am just so so confused. And there were mixed signals like it felt like flirting but it wasn't at the same time, we'd just go back and forth showering each other with compliments but I still don't know and I am very very confused.

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Hi! I'm bisexual and I'm not sure about how to come out to my parents without getting a lecture on how they still love me and stuff. I know they will accept me because I have gay people in my fam but I'm not sure how they will react.  I just want it to be a short convo and I'm worried that it's gonna get awkward. I really need advice!

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