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TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Hi whoever reads this,

This talks about suicide a bit so if you get triggered by it , please dont read this.

I've been feeling very depressed and passively suicidal for quite some time now, but i dont know how i could get help. I feel so lost and confused and I dont really see living as worthwhile anymore. It seems so tiresome and useless. I can't talk to anyone, because im so distant from everyone, including my own family. Every single day, i'm overwhelmed with thoughts of killing and hurting myself.  I hate myself and wish i had never existed at all. I cause trouble for my parents and make them worry and fight with each other. It also hurts because they dont care. They just want me to study 24/7. I can't concentrate with anything anymore and i feel like i will mess my grades up. They hate me and are so disgusted with me for being so weak and self harming. I can't escape from all the things ive done in life nor in death. The only thing that keeps me alive these days is the fact that if i died this way, id be a sinner and dissapoint my parents. I'm pretty sure barely any of my friends care about me anymore. I know I'm so lucky to even have parents and friends and i know this looks ungrateful. I probabaly am being ungrateful.  I dont want to live like this. I dont want to hate every moment i am still breathing. I don't to feel like a mistake. I dont want to live a life that my parents put out for me. I don't want to cry every day. I don't want to feel so lost and alone. I don't want to feel so overwhelmed.  I dont want to feel like im drowning every second of the day. I dont want to be me. And the worst thing is im afraid to get help, I've never been diagsed with anything and it confuses me a lot.  People have told me so many times to get help, but i just cant and i dont see a way for me to get help, because im too cowardly. i'm dont have control over anything in my life and its so suffocating it hurts and i want to scream. Im sorry if this is confusing, I just wanted to vent and i omitted a lot of stuff out so its a bit ...

 

Sorry for wasting your time.

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  • Digital Mentor

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Hi @Cherophobic 

I’m one of the Digital Support Mentors here at Ditch the Label. Firstly,  I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way but I'm really glad that you've opened up to us. You deserve help to get through this and we are here for you. I have sent you a separate email but can I ask, do you have a plan to take your own life? Please know that this feeling can pass and things can get better, but it might be hard for you to see that right now.

We care about you and it's useful to have these numbers /details below to hand. 

 

UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)

USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255

A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org

An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 

Can you let us know that you are safe, please? Once we know this, we can then give you more support to help you through this.

 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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12 minutes ago, Blondie said:

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Hi @Cherophobic 

I’m one of the Digital Support Mentors here at Ditch the Label. Firstly,  I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way but I'm really glad that you've opened up to us. You deserve help to get through this and we are here for you. I have sent you a separate email but can I ask, do you have a plan to take your own life? Please know that this feeling can pass and things can get better, but it might be hard for you to see that right now.

We care about you and it's useful to have these numbers /details below to hand. 

UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)

USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255

A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org

An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 

Can you let us know that you are safe, please? Once we know this, we can then give you more support to help you through this.

Hi Blondie,

Thankyou for asking but I'm safe right now. Things just seem to get worse everyday and im scared one day i might give in and actually try to take my own life.

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  • Digital Mentor

TRIGGER WARNING ON THREAD: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Thank you for letting me know. And thank you for being so honest. It sounds like everything has become overwhelming right now so it can sometimes be useful to look at working through individual issues rather than feel it all has to be tackled at once. Does that make sense?

What would you say is the biggest contributing issue to how you are feeling? For example: school or the relationship with your family?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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6 minutes ago, Blondie said:

TRIGGER WARNING ON THREAD: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Thank you for letting me know. And thank you for being so honest. It sounds like everything has become overwhelming right now so it can sometimes be useful to look at working through individual issues rather than feel it all has to be tackled at once. Does that make sense?

What would you say is the biggest contributing issue to how you are feeling? For example: school or the relationship with your family?

Im not sure, but i think its mostly my family.  

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  • Digital Mentor

TRIGGER WARNING ON THREAD: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Have things always been difficult with your family relationships or is this a fairly new thing? is there anyone in your family (including extended family) that you get on with pretty well and can talk to easily?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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  • Digital Mentor
On 7/13/2021 at 11:45 AM, Cherophobic said:

Im not sure, but i think its mostly my family.  

TRIGGER WARNING ON THREAD: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Hey @Cherophobic

I just want to check in and see how you are doing today? I hope that you're feeling better. We are here for you if you need us. 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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