bookworm1 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I keep lashing out at all my friends and being really horrible to them. I called one friend fat the other day and I knew it would upset her but I did it anyway. I knew I was being mean but I kinda didnt really care. Then i also told my other friend that she was an awful person and listed loads of reasons why. It upset her but I wanted to tell her anyway. I dont know why I keep doing it. A part of me knows I should stop but I do it anyway and i dunno why. I do feel bad but it kinda makes me feel good to. Why am i like this? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louise19 Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Hey I know what you mean sometimes I say stuff to my sister that I know I shouldn't but can't stop myself, don't feel bad you are aware of it and obvs want to change it otherwise you wouldn't post here. I think to be honest is brave. Louise MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudwaves Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Are you feeling annoyed, angry or upset at something other than your friends - then taking out those emotions on them? Sometimes we hurt those closest to us when there is something else going on when we trying to find a way to deal with it. I always have arguments with my mum after a stressful day. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Harper Posted October 31, 2017 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted October 31, 2017 Hey Bookworm, welcome to DTL Community! Cloudwaves is right in asking if there's something else going on for you behind the scenes? It may not even be immediately obvious. Let us know! Harper MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bingabong Posted November 1, 2017 Share Posted November 1, 2017 I always do this to my mom when I'm stressed and I don't mean to MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparky Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 I'm like that too! I'm losing my friends. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 It's incredible that you're wanting to change your behavior! Friends and family know exactly how to push our buttons, and we know theirs. But if we catch ourselves purposefully hurting them, it's definitely time to look at ourselves! Maybe you've been holding things in, and it's coming out in a non-constructive way. What do we actually want to happen by telling them these things? Do we want our space? Are we upset by something they did a couple weeks ago? Do you feel like you're never listened to? For me, the best way to change my behavior is through communicating what I need... What have you all done to relieve some of this pressure? -willow MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnyla Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Sometimes I do this too. Especially when I'm angry at something MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thafiona13 Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 Sometimes your being mean because you care about them. There has been research that states that your meanest friend is actually the friend that wants you to succeed the most (https://nypost.com/2017/05/26/your-meanest-friend-just-wants-the-best-for-you-scientists-say/) Maybe the friend you called fat talked about starting to eat healthy the other day and you just noticed them finish a whole bag of chips and your rude comment was meant in a "helpful" way to remind them of their original goals. Regardless, however, you should take a look back at yourself when you're being rude or mean and see if you are actually trying to help or just wants to make the person feel bad. If you have nothing good to say, don't say it MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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