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So, I’m back. I think that I’ve sort of figured myself out, but I still have quite a few doubts.
 

Basically, I’m a 13 y/o girl and I think that I am bisexual, but I have different sorts of attraction towards different genders. I find that I am only physically attracted to girls, but could be emotionally attracted to any gender? Is that a thing? 
 

I dated a guy once, and I think that I genuinely liked him, but I don’t think I found him ‘attractive’ as such. I’ve never been with any other gender, but I have had numerous crushes on females, and often I find that my heart beats faster and I get butterflies when I see girls that are really hot. I think that that’s attraction, but I’m not really sure, because I’ve never been attracted to anyone before (physically at least). 

I keep asking myself if I am actually attracted to girls, because I’m just not sure. I can’t tell if I am attracted, or if I’m just noticing that they’re hot/ am a bit envious of them (I’m not particularly happy with my body anyway so I sometimes wonder if I’m just jealous?)  I think that I do like girls, but because I’ve never properly experienced attraction, I don’t know what that feels like. 
 

and then on the complete other end of the scale, I wonder if I even like guys? Rn, I think that I’m just emotionally attracted to them (if that’s even a thing?) but I sometimes think that I’m just refusing to believe that I don’t like guys, because I’ve been brought up in a heteronormative society. 
 

 

anyway, sorry about the long rant and thanks for reading if u did. I’d really appreciate any help with this :) thanks

Edited by A human being
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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @A human being it's completely natural to feel quite fluid on our attractions to people. Some people describe themselves as ACE which is an umbrella term for a variation of romantic and sexual attractions. It's something that usually works itself out over time but it's a huge positive that you are open to being attracted to / having a relationship with the person rather than their sexuality. Even for people who identify as bi, they can experience more of an attraction to one gender than another. 

And of course, you are right, we can be influenced by our heteronormative society. I think it's important to just take your time and see how relationships develop and how you feel with a particular person. Does that make sense? 

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Sort of yeah. The thing is, I’m not really sure who I’m attracted to because I don’t know what attraction feels like. I’m not really sure what to do tho, because I don’t really know how to figure that out. 

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Romantic attraction can make you feel exhilarated, you might feel suddenly self-conscious, your heart can beat faster (I promise I'm not quoting from a cheesy rom com!). With sexual attraction, thinking of being intimate or having sex with that person feels exciting and something that you would like to do.   

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Thanks, in that case I think that I am probably attracted to girls. And honestly, bi just feels right to me. I think I need to stop waiting until I’m 100% sure, because I’ll never be able to. Anyway, thank you so much, I really appreciate all your help. 

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12 hours ago, WinterPickles said:

I think I'm feeling quite the same way rn.

Hey @WinterPickles

Thanks for letting us know that you're feeling quite the same way. Would you be able to tell us some more detail about your situation, please? We can help you if you like. 

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9 hours ago, A human being said:

@Monsoon @Blondie just wondering, is what I said actually a thing? Like, having different attractions to guys and girls. I’m still pretty new to this, and honestly I don’t know what to think about it. 

Hey,

Yeah, it definitely is. I don't think that may people talk about it, but yeah, there will be others out there like you who exist :)

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