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im 14 and insecure


Allayne
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hi im 14 and feel like everyone is so much prettier than me and i would rather be anyoune else. Everyone at my school is so pretty and then there's me i hate to sound like this but i just need help with my self-esteem

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Allayne

Welcome to our community :)

I'm one of the digital mentors and I give advice to our members who ask us for advice.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way about your appearance atm. Can I ask, how long have you been feeling like this for? Do you think that something in particular caused this to happen? When we find a reason why, having that understanding can often help us to move forward. 

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its been like this for like the past 4 days and it started when i  saw like everyone around me and felt like they were prettier and i also feel like everyone loves everyone but me they just say it not to be rude

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Ah, so it's pretty recent then? It sounds like this is a really strong feeling for you atm. Do you think as time goes on, it will pass in that these feelings won't be as intense? 

I wonder, what makes you think that everyone loves everyone else apart form you? Has something happened specifically to make you think that? I'm asking because we can often tell ourselves negative things that aren't true, but we just become so caught up in it that we forget to question it. Therefore, by asking someone to think about experiences that made them think that way, they often realise that they have no reason to believe the negative thought. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Ahh, okay. I'm glad to hear that you think it will pass :)

Yeah, I completely get the whole self-doubt thing. We tell ourselves all sorts of harmful things about ourself. My motto is to switch that voice inside your head to the voice you use to support and uplift your fiends and other people you care about. Care for yourself the way you care for others. What do you think ?

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i think ill try to live by your motto but im starting to feel better about my self and i wrote a list of the things i like about my self that also helped

 

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  • Digital Mentor

Ah, great :).  It's a good motto. Would you like to share what was on the list that you wrote? Telling others what we like about ourself can be really weird at first, usually because most of us don't like complimenting ourself, but the more you do it, the more normal it becomes. 

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  • Digital Mentor

That's great :). Keep doing this because it will make you think more and more positively about your appearance. Try to remember the list you make every time you have a negative thought about your appearance. It will really help. How are you today?

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Digital Mentor
On 7/6/2021 at 5:03 PM, WaterfallDaisy said:

That tip has really helped me @Allayne, focusing on what I like about myself has really boosted my self-esteem and made me see myself in a different way. Thanks for sharing your experience 💜

Love this! Think of three/four things you like about yourself and every time you have a bad thought about yourself, replace it with some you like. It takes time to get used to, but you can change your whole perspective to be more positive 🙂

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