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Question about coming out


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Hi, I’m a 13 y/o girl almost completely sure that I am bisexual, but I don’t want to come out because I’m worried that I might just be going through a phase or something. I have a crush on one my best friends, like i genuinely want to kiss he and go out with her, even though i know she doesn’t want to date, and I’m definitely into boys too. Although I’m nearly 100% sure, I still worry that maybe I’ve got it wrong, and that everyone will stop taking me seriously. I do genuinely feel like I’m bi, and it’s not like you can take a test or something that tells you the exact answer, but I’m still really worried. So should I come out? I just don’t want to have to go back on myself. 
 

 

(p.s. sorry if this is the wrong place, I’m still new to forums and stuff like this)

 

Edited by CatPerson
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I know the feeling.I am going through the same thing.Someone once said " First before you come out you need to make sure you are ok with your sexuality and have people who should love and support you no matter what you are". I hoped this helped you.I find out when taking my own advice dose not work ask other people taking my advice.

Tater tots

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Thanks 🙂. I think that if I did come out as bi, I would be fine with it, and I think most people would be too (I mean ofc there are haters out there but that’s just how life is). I’m just super worried that I’ll finally decide to come out, and then suddenly realise that I’m not actually bi. It sucks really, because either way it will be bad. If I say I’m bi and then I’m not, people will stop taking me seriously, but if I don’t, I’ll just be stuck like this forever- and I just hate the feeling of not even knowing who I am. 

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Quite a while ago, I told my mum that I liked girls as well as boys (this was when I was about 11), and she said to me that it was probably just a phase. She wasn’t being homophobic or anything, and I do see her point- I was quite young, and I doubt I would have properly known at that time anyway. But I haven’t really brought it up since because I’m scared she’ll just say the same thing again. And even if I do come out to her, and then realise I’m wrong, I don’t think that she will ever take me seriously when I talk about my sexuality. I don’t hold anything against her because of this, but I think that’s probably why I’m worried to come out to my family. I know that my friends would be fine with it, and I’ve actually discussed the fact that I’m probably bisexual with them quite a few times before, but I don’t want my family to treat me any differently because of it. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @CatPerson

I’m also a cat person! Lol. Thanks for telling me about your situation atm. I think that if you’re sure, then you’re sure. We tend to have a gut feeling for the truth and it seems to me like you’re pretty certain, and the doubt is totally normal. I mean, if you want to be like 10000% sure, could you maybe wait for a bit longer? When you do come out, if people are saying things like ‘It’s just a phase’, then that’s on them, and if you’re absolutely certain by then, then that’s all that matters and they’ll see that over time. What do you think! 

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Thank you so much. I don’t really know many people who are bi, so I wasn’t really sure if what I was feeling was normal 🙂.  Might wait a little bit longer, because as I said earlier I’m pretty worried about having to go back on myself, but I really appreciate your help @Tater tots and@Monsoon  and I think I will probably come out relatively soon. Thanks guys!

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