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This topic contains content which has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Blood/Graphic Description, Disordered Eating, Hate, Mental Illness, Other, Self-Harm, Suicide, Trauma, Violence

family & friends problems


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A few days ago,my sister told my mom one of the biggest secrets that i held,my sexuality. I've only told a couple of extremely close friends about this,and I thought that I should trust my sister. She "got worried" and told my mom.

When she found out,she started telling me that "people from the lgbtq+ community are mentally ill","you don't belong there" and "you are normal,not like them." She started threatening me,telling me that if dad finds out he'll kick me out.

Today,she got mad at me for not coming out of my room and she's telling my dad. I don't actually think that they'll kick me out,but I know for sure that I'm not making it out "in one piece".

The cherry on top is that my friends have been starting to not care about me,which is just making me feel worse,feeling that nobody is there for you in tough times is exasperating,it kills you on the inside. I'm trying to stay as strong as I can,not sure i'll be able to make it tho.

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  • Digital Mentor
Posted (edited)

Hello @melanie.007

 

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened with your mum and sister recently. You must feel so betrayed and upset; to trust someone with such a big secret and then have the promise of secrecy broken must be really hard for you. I know that you're feeling like nobody is there for you at the moment, and I completely get why you feel like that, especially as you mom reacted badly to the news. I just know that we are here for you; you are not alone. We will help you to get through this.

 

Can I ask, by not being sure if you'll be able to make it, what do you mean by this? Also, when you say you're sure that you're not making it out in one piece, can you tell me what this means?

 

I'm wondering, is there somewhere else you could stay at the moment, or if you do get kicked out? It might be good to come up with a safety plan incase this does happen.

 

I hope to hear back from you soon. Stay strong, Melanie. We are here for you every step of the way.

-Monsoon

Edited by Monsoon

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(tw//suicide)I've attemped suicide multiple times in the past 2 years. We usually use "not making it out in one piece" to represent emotional and/or physical abuse. I'm Romanian😋.

I think that I'd be able to go to someone else in case I'll be kicked out,but I'm not sure.

Thank you for being there for me!

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  • Digital Mentor

Hello @melanie.007

 

We are always here for you at Ditch the Label. I'm sorry to hear that you've attempted suicide multiple times in the past two years. Can I ask, are you thinking of attempting it again?

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Yes,I am. I hate it here. I could be rethinking this decision,because I really care about a close firend,and he makes me want to live another day. But at the same time,I feel like something is always changing,and that kills me on the inside.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hello @melanie.007

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are thinking of attempting suicide again. Can I ask, do you have a plan to take your own life? If you do, please know that this feeling will pass. You've gotten through this before and you can get through it again. You are strong, but I know it might be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I'm wondering, what do you mean when you say you feel like something is always changing? Is this related to what you said about changes to the relationship in your other thread or something else?

 

I'm glad to hear that caring about your close friend makes you want to live another day. Would you like to tell me why you value this relationship and why it makes you want to stay? Sending positivity your way. We are here for you.

Edited by Monsoon

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I don't have a plan. I think that one day,I will be done with everything,and just make the decision. I just imagine that something will pop in me,most likely sadness. I will be full of being ignored,everyone lying to me. I just wanted to be happy. I wanted my friends to be as faithful as I am to them. If it wasn't meant to be like this,too bad.

Yes,i'm reffering to the same changes. I still care so much about him,I just feel like I'm being a burden when I talk to him. I really don't want to be found annoying because of what I've been feeling for these 2 years. I feel like I'm annoying and that's what makes him become more distant everyday.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hello @melanie.007

 

Thanks for getting back to me. I'm glad to hear that you don't have a plan. I can tell how strong you are as you've overcome these feelings before. I'm really proud of you.

 

I'm wondering, when you say everyone is lying to you, what do you mean?

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I can usually feel when someone is lying to me,I'm ✨built different✨. I feel when they want to distance,I can basically read them through a screen,hands or eyes.

And when I feel that somemone is lying to me or has bad intent towards our friendship,I start feeling extremely sad,because I usually care about my closest friends. :)

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melanie.007, it’s just hard for your family to accept the fact that you may have unusual or incomprehensible needs and preferences. I do not understand at all how you can call a person sick because he is homosexual. Of course, "non-standard" sexual orientation may be shocking, but this is not pedophilia, which is a real pathology and a crime. Your parents may be hoping this is some kind of temporary stressor, but what you shouldn't do is shame what you are experiencing. There is nothing wrong or wrong with your attraction.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @melanie.007

 

I'm glad that you're going to see a psychologist and I think this will really help. How are you feeling about it?

 

Also, I'm wondering, would you like us to share some tips with you on how to improve your mental health? We know about loads of things that people find useful when they're in similar situations. Let us know :)

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I don't really like the idea,but I want to get better. And if this is the solution,I'm down.

Yea,why not.

I've been feeling really bad these days,I started feeling like I'm on the verge on ending it. I feel like I'm disappointing everyone. I'm losing every friend that I had and that's just making me worse on the inside. I just wish that I was happier,maybe this wouldn't have happened. I feel like it's my fault,and I really hope that this is not the end,because i care about them SO much and I feel so sad for not being able to show them.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hello @melanie.007

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling really bad these days. I can really tell how much you're struggling at the moment, and I just want to let you know that we are here for you every step of the way. We know that you can get through this - you are so strong. Can I ask, do you have a plan to take your own life? If so, it might be good to have a look back at the answers you gave for the suicide prevention sheet. Why don't you look at them and let me know what you think about them?

 

Also, you can speak to someone on a free suicide hotline if you like? These people are trained in supporting individuals who are feeling the way you are and can help you to start feeling better. Here are their details:

 

Romanian Alliance for Suicide Prevention

 

Hotlines:0800 801 200(Suicide hotline - between 19:00 – 07:00)(Alianţa Română de Prevenţie a Suicidului)

 

By the way, here are some support guides for mental health that I said I'd send over to you. It might be a good idea for you to have a look through them now and see if anything might help you:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/13-reasons-why-suicide-is-not-the-solution/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/9-practical-things-can-keep-track-mental-health/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-talk-to-your-friends-about-mental-health/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/101-ultimate-ways-chill-reduce-stress/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-meditate/

 

Hope to hear back from you soon - stay strong.

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Unfortunately, when an atypical situation arises, the biggest nastiness that they have in them begins to crawl out of people. And just in such situations, the highest quality check of those who are next to you takes place.

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It's been pretty bad,I wish things were different. I just want the pain to stop. I feel so sad and I want to be happy. I feel so empty. I want to know what I've done to deserve this.

I don't want to commit suicide as much,but I want to be different. I'm working on it,I try so hard to become better,but I feel like I'm failing.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hi @melanie.007

 

I'm sorry to hear that things have been pretty bad for you recently. You haven't done anything to deserve this - no one deserves to feel this way. I know it might not seem like it now, but things will get better for you. You're making such good progress by talking to myself and your psychologist. Opening up about how we're feeling is one of the best ways to move on from the pain that you're going through. Just remember, with things like this, it will take time and practise to start feeling better. By practise, I mean trying out new things to improve your wellbeing. Your psychologist will be able to help with this. The therapy process can be quite long and you have to stay patient with it, but it will work, I promise. What do you think?

 

Also, can I ask, why do you feel like you're failing?

Edited by Monsoon

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I don't usually have a lot of patience,but if this is what I have to do in order to get better,I'm down.

I just feel like whatever i do is not enough,I wish that I could be able to do something more(Even thought sometimes I give everything inside me for certain things.). That's just how my brain works.

I think that the only "open wound" that I have is my mom not accepting me for who I am,that's the most hurtful thing that I've ever felt. Even though she tries to be nice with me,I still think about her not being able to accept me. It really does hurt me,even when i think about it

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  • Digital Mentor

Hi @melanie.007

 

I'm glad to hear that you're down for it in order to move forward. The commitment your showing will really help you along this process.

 

It's interesting that you feel like whatever you do is not enough. I'm wondering, why do you think you feel like that?

 

Also, I'm sorry to hear that you're so hurt by your mom not accepting you. It's so hard when our loved ones treat us this way - I can imagine that this is very painful for you. Can I ask, have you spoken about your sexuality since your mom found out? By the way, I think you might find our support guide helpful: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/. This is for people whose parents/carers didn't react well to them coming out. With these kinds of things, time and patience in the best recipe for moving forward. So many parents eventually come around to the news, but you might have to endure this hard part for the time being. Have a read and let me know what you think.

 

Stay strong, Melanie.

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  • 7 months later...
This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Blood/Graphic Description, Disordered Eating, Hate, Mental Illness, Other, Self-Harm, Suicide, Trauma, Violence

Click this notice to reveal the content.
On 1/27/2021 at 8:54 PM, melanie.007 said:

😖😔😫😭I’m cutting myself

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Abuse, Blood/Graphic Description, Disordered Eating, Hate, Mental Illness, Other, Self-Harm, Suicide, Trauma, Violence

Click this notice to reveal the content.

Please!… help me..😖😭😖😣😭 I’m only 14 years old girl who’s crying for help! 
no one’s helping me… not even my family anymore😣😖😭

please?…😣😣😔

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  • Monsoon changed the title to family & friends problems

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