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Guilt


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I didn’t notice that my best friend was struggling and she tried to commit suicide. I feel so much guilt that I was a rubbish friend and I should’ve been there for her. We don’t talk now and I wondered so many times that if I was a decent friend, maybe we’d still be friends today. We’d still be close. I think about her all the time and the guilt always intensifies around when her birthday is.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hello @halowings

 

Welcome to our online support community - we are here to help you through this. I'm sorry to hear that your friend tried to take their own life; how are they doing now? It's perfectly normal for friends and family of people who try to take their own life to feel guilty and like they could have done more. The sad thing is that, sometimes, there is only so much you can do, and people who try to take their own life sometimes don't give many warning signs, so they can be easy to miss. How come you feel like you were a rubbish friend?

Edited by Monsoon

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She moved and blocked me from all social media so I have no idea how she is doing. I feel like a rubbish friends as I had began to make other friends and I keep thinking that I had abandoned her. We didn’t share many classes and we began to talk less and less. If I had still made time for her, maybe we’d still be in contact.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @halowings

 

I'm sorry to hear that she moved and blocked you on all social media - it must be hard when you feel guilty and want to know how she is doing. From what you've said, it doesn't sound like you were a bad friend. Sometimes, friends naturally drift away from each other, so I don't think you should beat yourself up about it. These things happen, and I guess you could also flip it by thinking that if they made more time for you, then you might still be in contact.

 

Do you know if there's a particular reason for why she blocked you, an argument perhaps?

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I think it was just after everything that happened. She moved schools and I was blocked.

 

I found a birthday card she gave me whilst clearing my wardrobe out yesterday and it’s made me feel upset. It’s coming up to her birthday and I always remember it and just wish I could celebrate it with her.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey@halowings

 

Yeah, I can totally see how finding the card and her birthday coming up are upsetting for you. I'm wondering why she blocked you specifically. Do you think there's a reason other than you believing yourself to be a bad friend for the blocking?

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