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How do i tell my friiends?


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I have a best friend and 5 of my closest friends.

But the thing is I haven't been 'online lately' and when i did come back to talk to them on another platform I realized that they had added someone to out group chat.

Well I don't know if they found it as a big deal but it's a big deal to me especially because I don't think that they trust her fully because I noticed our conversations changed.

Like they weren't the same as they were before and it may not be because of her though. I might be wrong. It could just be because of how quarantine is still going on.


Anyways the problem is I don't really like her because I don't think she gets me.

For instance she reached out to me because she had a problem and I was somewhat involved but not really. I told her what I knew but I was also really concerned so i asked her a question and she seemed pissed that I asked. So this is my problem I'm that type of friend that plays around a lot so when she seemed pissed abut the fact that i cared I didn't want to even explain because I'm not that type of person.


I want to tell my friends that I'm not really comfortable with the idea of her being in that group chat. I'm not sure what they are going to do because nobody even wanted to talk about why they added her in the first place. i'm not going to make them stop talking to her or remove her if they don't want to. I'm just going to stop interacting there because we have another group chat on a different platform.


the question is- Would it be necessary to tell them?

- if it is then how do I break it down to them because I'm not that honest with people.(I tend to joke about a lot of things and sometimes when I'm actually serious I turn it to a joke after)


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Hey there @sweetie


I see how the new person being added to the group must have come as a shock to you, especially as you don't know here. Do you think you've given her enough of a chance to show you who she is and what she's about? Quite a lot can get lost in group chat convos and it sounds like she's trying to reach out to you.


That being said, sometimes, when you don't vibe with someone, you just don't vibe with them and that's okay. If you really think you would rather not interact with her then maybe chat on the other group chat. You could mention it to them, but be prepared they may want to defend her. Could it be worth having a conversation with the girl directly before you have it with your friends?



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Thank you for that advice but I just remembered that I forgot to add the fact that I know who she is.


Actually we all go to the same school, and she her friend group sometimes has issues with ours. it's quite complicated really.


But I'm going to ask my friends about how the decision came about before I take any actions.(because the girl is particularly close with someone in my friend group so I have this feeling that she might have persuaded them a bit.)


But her reaching out to me isn't why i feel that way about her, it just triggered that feeling.(and made me quite angry because I never had a problem like that before) And we never did even talk much in the past.

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Hello @sweetie


Ahh okay, I understand now, so you already have some sort of history with this girl. It does sound complicated for you.


What do you think you will say to your friends about the situation?



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  • 1 month later...

Sorry i couldn't respond sooner.

I actually just told my friends about it, to my surprise you were right they did defend her, but that was fine. They are friends.


So I went along with my plan and only talked to them on another platform if it was something more private.


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Hey :)


I'm glad that you told your friends about it and went along with your plan. I've just responded to your other post about this situation :)

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