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Bi daughter vs. Possibly homophobic parents??


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So I love my parents, a lot. But they are asian and very toxic. I have suffered with depression ever since I was young, and now I figured out that I am a bisexual. I had my first crush and she rejected me. I came out to my parents and they looked at each other and said. " we accept you but are you sure its not a phase? Why do you label yourself? Your too young to know. "

 

Then two months after, my dad yelled at me because gay people and so he says "******" get aids and STDs. And how he said that the whole lgbtq thing doesnt make any sense and its bull. I was having dinner with my neighbors and they were provoking the LGBTQ community by saying. "Go join your camp ******!" And stuff like that. I just want them to understand that I know who I am and them saying it's just a phase doesn't feel like they are accepting me. Are they homophobic? I have a gay uncle and they are fine with that. My dad said I cant say I'm part of the LGBTQ community unless I'm actually part of it. And because I am depressed and a bisexual I dont know what to do. I want to come out to them when I'm older but they still don't believe me. Help! Please respond asap!

 

- random person

Edited by Monsoon
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  • Digital Mentor

Hey. Thanks for reaching out to us :)

 

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been going through this recently. I can't imagine how it feels having to hear that kind of language coming from your parents and for them to undermine your knowledge of who you are. You know exactly who you are right now and they should respect that. It sounds like they definitely have some homophobic attitudes at the moment. However, this can change over time, and often, it does :)

 

I am aware that some parents can initially react well, but then they might have bad reactions once the news has sunk in more. This is very hard to put up with from your point of view. However, there are many reasons why parents react like this and there are some tips for dealing with it here: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/

 

I wonder, is there an adult who knows your mum and dad who could speak to them about it? They might not realise how they are treating you and it could help to hear this from someone else. Could you maybe write them a letter as well?

 

I think maybe it might be a good idea to wait until you're a bit older to come out, or at least until the situation has calmed down a little. Is it possible for you to get help for your depression e.g. therapy? We also have some tips here to improve mental health: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/improve-mental-health/

 

Let me know what you think of all this.

 

- Monsoon

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Hi, thanks for replying to my post. I am very happy right now. You have absolutely no idea how much your comment means to me. I talk to my cousin about this stuff and she told me to go here for help. Maybe I could talk about this more with her?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey. Thanks for getting back to me so quickly :)

 

I'm glad you're feeling happier now. I hope you found it useful. Yeah, definitely speak to your cousin about this and see what she says. Can you keep us updated about how it goes? This will get better, it might just take a lot of time and patience. We are always here to support you :)

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I spoke to my cousin about this, and she agreed. I should come out when I am older. Also if you read my story on the friends and family section you know that I have a crush on my bff, she was also the first person I came out to. My cousin was the second.

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