Should I go to the GP/doctors?

[Marv]

We'll get straight to the point..

 

I have tourettes and lately I've realised how much it runs my life. I spilled pretty much all the tea on it to a friend the other night, and we discussed going to see a GP/doctor. He said he'd come with me. i'm absolutely terrified. It took a lot of courage to tell my friend. I'd had a few drinks which also made it earlier to tell him, at the GP/doctors it'll just be me and the doctor. I don't want to go. But I should. I would be totally fine if I didn't go, but considering how much it gets me down and, I'll admit, how much I need advice to move forward right now, I should probably go.

 

When I told my friend this stuff the other night, we sat outside for a bit, and I was sitting there shaking like an idiot because I hadn't discussed it with anyone like that for about 6-7 years. Last time I did talk about was with a GP/doctor when I was 11/12 and it wasn't a good experience. I also don't want to just be recommended medication. I will avoid it at all costs. I also don't know if I have the courage to go up to the desk and ask if they have anyone I can do to - the truth is, I've never said "tourettes" out loud. Never. I feel like we're going to start walking to the GP and I'm going to have a panic attack or something. It could go fine. I might go in, say it, wait, talk to someone for 10 minutes and then get the opportunity for another appointment.

 

We haven't made any appointments. Can I just walk in and ask? Or do I need to phone up?

 

I don't know what to do... I don't want to disappoint him, or myself. I don't want to hold back anymore, but maybe this jump is too much for this moment in time? I've been doing a lot of research on it lately, watching videos and reading about it, so maybe seeing the GP is the next step - but for the future, not now.

 

??????

[Blondie]

@Marv Hey, it's a big step considering previous experience and your reluctance to take medication but it could be that you're offered a different kind of support so always worth considering. Even if you do decide to do nothing now, a trip to the docs doesn't mean you have to go ahead with anything right now and you could check out your options.

Usually best to make an appointment first so you're not waiting a super long time. Whether you decide to go or not you will not be disappointing anyone as this is your journey and decision. That you are considering discussing it is already a big step!

[Marv]

Hey @Blondie

Yeah... I feel like it's the right step to take, but I don't know if the time is now.

To be fair, I could go to them and just ask to see someone about stress, because stress is the root cause. But I'm thinking, my university has a student support centre and at the start of the year they offered me a mentor for my tourettes, so I could drop an email and ask if that's still possible. I feel like that might be a better move than the GP?

All I know is, I need someone to vent to, like verbally, someone who I can arrange a meeting with any time and then just chat. I've been so stressed out for the last like four weeks, none stop, so anxious, so tired, exhausted, that I think I've gotten ill because of it. I've had a headache for two days straight, my throat is saw, I'm physically exhausted - pretty sure I haven't caught anything, I'm just so incredibly tired from the stress and anxiousness lately.

 

Oh yes, making an appointment is probably a good shout. We haven't made any and I'm anxious about just wandering in and asking to talk to someone because I'm pretty sure we'll either A) have to wait for ages like you said which will only make my anxiety of it worse, or B) won't get seen because we've just wandered in. I also have no evidence with me at all so I can't prove my issue, I could only go and vent about it.

 

I realise my responses on here aren't really questions, haha, I just sort of reply and discuss stuff... thanks for listening, Blondie.

[Blondie]

@Marv Hey! That's what we're here for!

I think your idea about seeing the student support sounds like a good shout - it's a good first step to talking to a mentor and building trust so you know you can access them if and when you need it. This removes the immediate pressure of seeing a doctor if you're not ready.

Stress has such an huge impact on our physical health too so it will definitely help with this.

[Marv]

@Blondie

So, update.

Plot twist, I bit the bullet, I went to the GP. The decision was tough, so tough, but I did it.

 

Me and my friend went (since you responded to my other vent on the friends and family bit, you'll know them by Oliver) to the GP after our lecture and a coffee. We wandered in and somehow I just about held it together. I've got the phone number of the GP and I'm going to phone them tomorrow morning and discuss an appointment. I can't believe it, I said the word 'tourettes'. I've never said it out loud before. I stood at the desk sweating and shaking, glanced at Oliver and just went for it. I nearly had a panic attack afterward as we walked out the GP, but I focused on him and held it together.

 

I don't know how to thank him. I'd have NEVER gone without him and his encouragement. I've said thank you, but how the hell do you thank someone who's just helped you in a massive way take an incredibly massive step?? I've no clue.

 

So, yeah, I'm phoning them tomorrow morning and arranging an appointment. I'm going to see how that goes, and still consider a mentor - we have third year and post grads do 1:1 sessions so that might be a good shout still, but this morning I also had a dyslexia meeting and I'm getting 1:1 sessions for that, so I don't think I need the mentoring now because I've kind of got it.

 

Today's been a great day. I feel shaken up, but so so incredibly grateful. The two big problems in my life are being sorted, it feels so good.

[Blondie]

@Marv WOW!!!!! This is completely amazing - I'm high-fiving you from here! What a huge step this is! Oliver sounds like a great person too Keep us updated.....