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Told to focus on myself


Dan
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I've spent a lot of time and effort getting over some of my more severe anxiety problems and im now trying to focus on myself.

 

I am however finding it rather hard having my friends use very negative language towards me any time I try to express my opinion or display emotion, It doesn't help that all of them seem to have rather severe anger issues where they will escalate minor situations into the end of friendship

 

They claim i haven't grown at all as a person and I find this rather insulting given my progress on my deeply ingrained issues and seeming lack of ability to focus on their own.

 

I find it very hard to see myself with any worth when I have failed in every way a person can in what is expected with someone at my age, no job, no partner, no chance of a career and i'm a leech on my Dad.

 

 

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Hello @Dan

 

What kinds of things do you friends do? Have you tried discussing this with them? To say you haven't grown is unkind and i'm sorry they have said that to you.

 

These age milestones are just made up by society, I know people in their 30s and 40s who still aren't sure what they want. You have to really ask yourself, what do you want, and what are the steps you could take to get there. Why no chance of a career? Plenty of people are single in their 20s and it is a positive thing. A lot of the time you think these things are what will make you happy but once you get them you realise that only you can get yourself happy. Have you ever tried meditating or gentle excercise to try and focus your brain?

 

Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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Hello @Dan

 

What kinds of things do you friends do? Have you tried discussing this with them? To say you haven't grown is unkind and i'm sorry they have said that to you.

 

These age milestones are just made up by society, I know people in their 30s and 40s who still aren't sure what they want. You have to really ask yourself, what do you want, and what are the steps you could take to get there. Why no chance of a career? Plenty of people are single in their 20s and it is a positive thing. A lot of the time you think these things are what will make you happy but once you get them you realise that only you can get yourself happy. Have you ever tried meditating or gentle excercise to try and focus your brain?

 

Remi

 

Make fun of me, point out my errors while ignoring their own, say i react emotionally when im trying to explain things logically, then emotion comes into it when I feel like they dont listen to me.

 

I have tried those yea.

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  • 1 month later...
  • Digital Mentor

It might be worth having a private chat with your friends and point out that you are putting the work in, in case their behaviour has become almost like a habit. Additionally, friendships should be a two way thing involving mutual respect, it's not great to be in a situation where you are being critiqued and judged in such a negative way. It may be time to start developing new friendships as we can outgrow some friendships as we get older and change.

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