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How do I survive in a homophobic household


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Hello, My name is Abi and I am bisexual. My Dad is always saying that the LGBTQ+ community is wrong, but I don't believe that. Usually, I try to ignore my family whenever they bring up this subject. It can get overwhelming. My dad expects me to agree so I have to, or else I'll get in trouble. At my home, we have no free will. We can't do the things that make us happy, We can't be ourselves, and we are expected to control our sexuality and emotions. It isn't fair. The only person that knows is my pansexual cousin, and it is killing me. I need HELP

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Hi Abi. I'm sorry that your family don't see it like you do. Unfortunately, not everyone understands the community and people's feelings and sexuality. But, just know, above all else, that it isn't a bad thing, even if your dad thinks it is.

It's very good that you have a cousin who knows. Since you can't talk to your family, maybe try and talk to them as much as you can? Do they have a phone or social media? - you could discuss things with them. It's always good to have someone to talk to, even if they're not as close as family.

In terms of your family, they don't actually HAVE to know about your sexuality. If they have a very negative attitude towards it, or you don't trust them with the information you'd like them to know, I think it's important that people know they don't HAVE to tell anyone. They don't have to know. It's hard, and sexuality is something that many people want to express to those who are close to them at some point. But not even has to know. And I honestly know it's hard not being able to be yourself at home, but also if you don't want to tell someone, that's fine. The truth is, when you go out into the big world, you have plenty of opportunities to express your emotions and sexuality. For example, I've not told many people that I'm bisexual, my mom knows and a few friends - there are a even a couple of close friends who I've known for 7+ years who I haven't told just because I don't quite want them to know that about me just yet. But when I go to university (this September) I plan on being totally open to people.

How do you survive in your home? Some of it is down to you, you decide whether you tell them or not. But you do have the option of talking to your cousin - I think you should consider it because you can at least express your feelings to them. Do you have any friends you can tell? Other places you can turn to are places like this site; there are Instagram accounts I follow who you can send direct messages and talk to them about things. Social media can be a good place to find people to chat to.


I hope this helps in some way. I'm not sure if I was totally clear, but I hope it helps a little. :)

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Hello Abi,



A big welcome to our community. I'm so sorry you feel like you can't be yourself at home. Homophobia isn't right and there is nothing wrong with who you chose to love or be attracted to. It sounds like right now, your family are not the best people to talk to about being pan. Could you find a local LBGT youth group so that you could be out to . some people locally and have a safe space to talk about things. This could be online or offline.


What do you think? You can always talk to us here as well.



This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you both. After reading this I came out to one of my closest friends. She is also bisexual. I really appreciate that there are people I can talk to about this. Even if I don't know them personally.

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