It is simply overwhelming for me. I've been sincerely the top of my class from first grade up to my last year in high school. Only then did I realize that I had spent all these years studying just to seek pleasure out of science, where in fact science has nothing to offer. My first love rejected me 5 years ago, another girl I liked was just out of my league and now I am about to drop out of Medical School because there is nothing ahead of me. I don't care about money, beauty, glory, sex, success and that's the problem. My family is being torn apart by my passiveness, they only know to push me into doing things and that just makes it worse for me. I live in isolation now, all my friends are either in school or employed, while I stay locked in home with my family members. Sometimes I just wish I would drop dead somewhere, I don't care about anything any more.